Jim and Cheryl are the perfect middle class American couple. Happily married, living in a suburban house with two adorable (but loud) little girls and a baby boy, they really can't complain much about life – except for those couple fights that neither one can ever let go, like the time Jim shut the car door on Cheryl. This time the problem is their daughter, whom Cheryl can't leave alone on her first week at kindergarten. Jim says it's because she's a woman and decides to take Ruby himself, but he also can't leave her behind. Things heat up when Cheryl discovers that not only has he been hiding it from her, but he also changed Ruby's school without talking to her. Meanwhile, Jim and Cheryl try to help Andy make up with his girlfriend.
Jim and Cheryl find their romantic getaway to the Bahamas set to work out perfectly, with Dana babysitting the kids. However, at the last minute, Dana is not able to babysit. In the meantime, Andy becomes a little too obsessed with making the perfect treehouse for Grace and Ruby.
Cheryl's 15 year-old cat Mr. Feeney dies and she wants Jim to bury it on the backyard, but Jim desperately wants to go to the Bears game. He sticks the cat in the garage freezer, planning on burying it after the game, but Cheryl finds out before he comes home. She is hurt that Jim doesn't listen to her nor care about a cat that has been longer with her than anything in her current life. Jim, feeling guilty, provides a proper funeral for Mr. Feeney and gets her a brand new dog, which she doesn't like very much at first, but starts to accept it later.
On Jim and Cheryl's 10th Anniversary, Jim pays Dana to buy him an anniversary gift to give to Cheryl. However, Dana buys a beautiful and touching charm bracelet, going over the spending limit in the process, and Cheryl finds out that all her anniversary gifts over the past ten years were bought by Dana.
It's Halloween, and Cheryl has forbidden Gracie to go trick-or-treating. However, not wanting his daughter to miss out on the fun of the halloween spirit, he sneaks her out anyway. Meanwhile, Andy becomes convinced that he's being stalked by an ex-girlfriend.
Jim sets Dana up with a guy so perfect that even Cheryl falls for him.
Jim and Cheryl find themselves wondering if they've set too many rules for their household when they find themselves arguing over whether to put a TV in the girls' room, making Jim promise Cheryl not to ride his motorcycle, and Ruby then tells Jim that Cheryl has been smoking again.
It's Thanksgiving and Jim and Andy are going bowling. Cheryl doesn't like the idea very much, so she sends the girls with him. Jim has a perfect game, but just when he was about to bowl his final strike, the power goes off and he is left with either waiting for it to return or giving up being perfect. Cheryl surprises him by bringing the Thanksgiving dinner to the alley so Jim's family and friends can witness his perfect game.
Andy has a new girlfriend, and Cheryl wants Jim to treat her nicely because not only is she Andy's first girlfriend sine Carrie, but also Ruby's piano teacher. During dinner, Alicia tells Jim she's a vegetarian, and not only that, but also a Peckers fan – a big insult to Jim. Alicia and Andy break up and get back together, but she keeps turning down invitations to have dinner at Jim and Cheryl's. The reason? She doesn't like being around Cheryl. Jim rubs it on her face until Cheryl confronts Alicia, who reveals it's only because she thinks Cheryl's too perfect.
Cheryl's mother is coming to visit them for Christmas and wants to stay at their house. Jim and Cheryl, however, prefer that she stayed at a hotel but don't know how to bring it up without insulting Maggie. After Jim tells Maggie that Cheryl wants her in a hotel, Maggie gives her grandma's pearl necklace to Dana. Cheryl's upset and goes to the airport to ask her mother' forgiveness, where she learns Dana only got the necklace because she doesn't have anyone in her life like Cheryl has Jim. Meanwhile, the girls think Andy is Santa.
Cheryl leaves Jim in charge of their kids and some other kids who were there to play with the girls during a Bears game. The next day, one of the kids mom calls Cheryl saying her daughter dame home repeating a swearing she heard from Jim. Cheryl apologizes for him and Jim is insulted that she always automatically takes the other person's side. Cheryl apologizes, and not too later Grace repeats the exact same word. Jim decides to teach her not to repeat it by making her say it non stop until she can't say it again. It works. 5 days later, at Ruby's ballet presentation, she slips, falls and says the word, unmasking Jim's guilt.
Jim and Cheryl agree to let Ruby model for a print ad as a one-time thing, but when the photographer calls her a natural, Jim gets Ruby an agent.
Cheryl decides to go behind Jim's back and loan Andy $1,000 for a downpayment on a new condo.
When Cheryl has a revealing photo of herself taken as a Valentine gift to Jim, he proudly shows it to all his friends.
When Cheryl reminds Jim that she beat him at racquetball years ago, he claims he was only letting her win to gain her affections, so Cheryl challenges him to a no-holds-barred re-match.
After Jim is diagnosed with high blood pressure, Cheryl decides to do everything to help him. She makes him special food, give him backrubs, and keeps asking about his day in order to free him from stress. But Jim doesn't know how to share so much and tells her an old financial problem of the firm. Cheryl stays up all night doing math to figure out a way out of the problem. Jim says she has a disease and is always trying to help people, which Cheryl responds with stop caring about him. In the end, they finally settle their issues when Jim says he loves her and would be a total mess without her.
While out for dinner and a movie, Jim loses a parking spot, and later loses Cheryl when he can't let go of it.
It's Kyle and Andy's birthday, and Andy is feeling a little left out of his own special day. They decide to take him to a restaurant that serves a 4,5 lbs steak, and Jim offers to pay for the check because Cheryl isn't feeling equal to Dana, who's spending a lot of money on their kids. On the table, Dana says she doesn't mind paying the check because she makes more money than Jim, which enfuriates him. He buys a donkey for the girls so they can know he's the one they should go to if they want stuff (in this case, they wanted a poney, but "they'll never know the difference"), and it isn't until the donkey ruins a painting Dana bought for Kyle's room that they talk it out and settle their issues.
When the new DVD player breaks, Jim must find the receipt in order to exchange it. He can't find it anywhere and blames Cheryl of losing it. She says he was the one who lost it, and in order to "win" the fight, Jim buys another DVD player and tells Cheryl he exchanged the broken one. Later, Dana shows up with the receipt, in which Cheryl wrote her a recipe, and Cheryl - after realizing it was her fault after all - burns it. They get into a fight but soon decide to drop the point scoring and just be happy again.
Jim has a run-in with an old friend from his wild and crazy days who is now a cop. Jim sets out to prove he's not an 'old married guy' by staying out all night and partying. Unfortunately, this has bad consequences for both of them...
Jim agrees to take the girls for the day while Cheryl and Dana go to a doctor's appointment. At the park, Jim leaves the girls with another mom and goes to the movies... where he's busted by Cheryl. Things go from bad to worse when he tries to retrieve the kids and can't remember who he left them with.
Jim plans a surprise party for Cheryl's birthday, but gets angry and cancels it when Dana spills the beans. To make it up to him, Cheryl plans a party for him... but he's too busy bowling to show up.
Jim buys a digital camera from one of Dana's ex-boyfriends, and it comes with stored pictures of the woman he dumped Dana for. Cheryl thinks it will make Dana feel better if she saw how ugly the new girl is, but Jim simply deletes the pictures because they weren't important enough for him. They start a fight about what's important to each one of them and Cheryl hides his new camera. Jim tries to get back at her, unsuccessfully. When Kyle starts to take his first steps, the camera is nowhere to be found and the moment is lost forever. That's when Cheryl realizes her actions didn't do any good. They make up and agree on paying more attention to what's important to each other.
Dana needs to buy a new car and Cheryl offers to go with her, but Jim says chicks are no good buying car by themselves, because they'll get distracted with other less important things like mirrors or cup holders. Offended, Cheryl is determined to prove Jim wrong and actually gets Dana a car for a fair deal, but the car soon breaks down. Jim takes over the situation and goes down the dealership to manly handle the situation. The only thing he wasn't counting on was a very seductive female manager, who convinces Jim to trade in his minivan for a brand new sports car. Cheryl and Dana try to undo the deal, but they have no luck either. Jim and Andy return determined to overcome Gretchen's looks, but Mike Ditka's presence ruins it for them.
Cheryl wants to be friends with the new couple who just moved into the neighborhood. She has to be fast and do it before they talk to anyone else and get scared of them. After lending Janet the baby monitor, Cheryl schedules dinner with the new couple and has a hard time convincing Jim to go. When they get home back from the dinner, Cheryl is thrilled that it all went very well, and they're surprised when the baby monitor picks up Ted and Janet's conversation from their bedroom. The entire family gets addicted to eavesdropping on the couple, and Jim accidentally slips Ted's nickname for his penis. The new couple is outraged, and it takes Jim to make up a story about a homosexual experience he had in college to even the score and not lose their new friends.
Jim's pizza delivery boy moves in with him and Cheryl after the boy's father kicks him out of the house because of his dream of doing standup comedy.
Jim asks Cheryl not to intrude his space in the bathroom sink and in their closet, claiming she takes up too much space, and worse, HIS space. Cheryl tries to do something about by getting rid of some of her stuff, but Dana tells her it's time for women everywhere to show men they also have a need for space. Therefore, instead of doing what Jim asked her to, Cheryl buys even more clothes to jam up the closet. As a revenge, Jim decides to decorate their room in his own way. That starts a feud between them, until Jim falls down from the attic on their bed, breaking through the ceiling. He tells Cheryl that he needs his own space, and not because her stuff annoys him, but because he has the need to feel safe from the world sometimes. They settle their feud and agree on respecting each other's spaces.
Jim is taking the girls to their first Bears football game, and Cheryl asks him to be a good role model and try his best not to swear in front of them. At the game, Jim picks a fight with a Packers fan who was swearing in front of the girls, and the entire fight is televised, with Jim getting the nickname of "Packers Smacker". He finds glory with such nickname, but Cheryl doesn't like it at all. It only hits Jim the effects his actions might have on his children when Ruby hits Gracie in the nose. Jim has to have a talk with Ruby and hear Cheryl says that the next time he finds himself in a situation like on the football game, that he should just think what she would do and do it. But Jim finds redemption when Gracie refuses to eat sundae fudge because she thinks her butt's too big – something Cheryl was saying around the house not too long ago.
Dana gets selected to be on the reality show The Bachelor. At first she's sure her personality alone will be enough to entertain the guy, but Jim gives her advice on how to behave and what to say to the guy. Dana thinks he's full of crap, but after her date goes bad she tries Jim's recipe and scores a second date. She arranges with Cheryl to bring the bachelor over to their house for dinner, and Cheryl couldn't be more thrilled to be on national television with a remodeled house. Jim is also very proud that Dana only got so far thanks to him, but the situation quickly takes an unexpected turn when Jim accidentally overhears the bachelor saying Dana will be easy to bring to bed and then he'll dump her. Now he goes out of his way to save Dana and ends up scaring the guy away with stories about Dana being a psycho. Later he explains to her his behavior and says she'll meet someone who's good enough for her.
Cheryl drags Jim down to the church for the new reverend's mess, which is supposed to be "the next best thing". Jim sees some familiarity on him, and remembers he was the kid he played dodge-ball with back when they were kids. Jim also remembers that he threw the ball so hard at the guy he got a fat lip (and a funny nickname) for weeks (the nickname lasted for years). When Cheryl invites the reverend over for dinner, Jim freaks out, hoping he won't remember a thing. But Jim's hopes go down the drain when the reverend confronts him and later quits the church, giving his inability to forgive Jim as a reason. Feeling guilty, Jim apologizes and even takes on Gracie and Ruby's advice on offering Reverend Pierson a chance to throw a dodge-ball back at him.
Cheryl is thrilled when she is offered to be in charge of the set of the girls's Thanksgiving school play. She asks Jim to help her, and he's complaining they don't spend any time together because there's always someone around them. When they finally get alone on the set, they decide to be a little wild and do it behind the Plymouth rock. Unfortunately, Andy and the PTA president walk in on them. They promise to keep it quiet, but Jim and his big mouth brag about it with a divorced father who criticized married life. When Jim and Cheryl's sexual adventures are spread around the PTA board, Cheryl is fired from her set duties, and Jim, feeling guilty about it, stays up all night to finish the job for Cheryl.
Jim's feud with a neighbor may also prompt one with Cheryl, who preaches peace so they'll be invited to the neighbors' Christmas party.
Eddie, a country musician who's dating Dana, comes between Jim and his brother-in-law Andy. After hearing Jim and Andy's band practice, Eddie invites them to perform with him at the House of Blues. The catch: Eddie plays keyboards instead of Andy. An excited Jim accepts anyway and hopes to keep the gig a secret from Andy, who, of course, finds out. Encouraged by his sisters, the left-out architect decides to even the score by exploring new business horizons-without his contractor-partner Jim.
Jim takes advantage of a billing error on his credit card by using the windfall to treat Cheryl to an expensive romantic weekend.
Jim's old friend Danny visits him, and brings his partner in crime, Laraine, with him. Cheryl and Dana offer to help Laraine pick out a dress for the police ball, and after realizing she has feelings for Danny, Cheryl convinces Jim to talk to Danny about asking her to the ball. Cheryl reveals to Jim that if it wasn't for Danny, they might never have gotten together, as they remember the time they met at a bar back in the 80's. But when Danny finally has the guts to talk to Laraine, he finds out that Andy already asked her out. Dana asks why can't she be Danny's date, since she made out with Cheryl's boyfriend the night she met Jim just so he would get out of the way. They all try to convince Andy to step aside what could be true love, but Andy reminds them of how he pretended to have a heart attack just so Jim would get rid of his girlfriend the night he met Cheryl. Finally, Andy agrees to help Danny and Laraine, as Jim and Cheryl conclude that despite all the help they got they still would have met.
Jim's old friend Danny visits him, and brings his partner in crime, Laraine, with him. Cheryl and Dana offer to help Laraine pick out a dress for the police ball, and after realizing she has feelings for Danny, Cheryl convinces Jim to talk to Danny about asking her to the ball. Cheryl reveals to Jim that if it wasn't for Danny, they might never have gotten together, as they remember the time they met at a bar back in the 80's. But when Danny finally has the guts to talk to Laraine, he finds out that Andy already asked her out. Dana asks why can't she be Danny's date, since she made out with Cheryl's boyfriend the night she met Jim just so he would get out of the way. They all try to convince Andy to step aside what could be true love, but Andy reminds them of how he pretended to have a heart attack just so Jim would get rid of his girlfriend the night he met Cheryl. Finally, Andy agrees to help Danny and Laraine, as Jim and Cheryl conclude that despite all the help they got they still would have met.
Cheryl disapproves of Jim's latest idea, a flatulent doll named Gassy Gus, but he gets support from Andy, who builds the protoype, and Dana, who locates investors.
When Cheryl gets sick on the day of Ruby's birthday party, Jim is stuck trying to entertain a house full of little girls.
When Jim and Cheryl run into his old girlfriend, Jim worries that Cheryl may find out the truth about his past when she invites the woman to dinner.
Cheryl is mugged at the mall parking lot, but instead of calling the police she chases the guy and tackles him to get her purse bag. When she tells Jim what happened, he decides to get two killer German shepherd to guard her. Cheryl doesn't like the idea, especially because the dogs are trained in German. One night, when the girls and Kyle are sleeping over at Dana's, Jim and Cheryl get locked into the bathroom after they mistakenly order the dogs to attack them and don't know how to order them to stop. The solution? Give the dogs drowsy medication. After that, Jim and Cheryl acknowledge that they could actually lose each other and start being warmer with one another.
Cheryl's upset when a wealthy client, a former high school buddy of Jim's, makes a pass at her, but it's Jim's reaction that she's upset about.
When Jim vociferously objects to the way Dana gets treated by her boss, he succeeds in getting her fired. Meanwhile, Andy has problems with the plans for his birthday party.
Cheryl has to have dental surgery and asks Jim to stay besides her the whole time because she's scared of dentists. While Cheryl is sedated, Andy shows up saying he met blues legend Bo Diddley and Jim decides to meet him too, leaving Cheryl unattended. There's no harm since she's sedated, he justifies. But Cheryl finds out when Bo Diddley sends Jim a thank you basket with edible goodies and Jim confesses. They have a fight and the next day Cheryl goes out to the movies, leaving Jim in charge of the kids. Coincidentally, tickets for Bo Diddley's concert arrive at the house, but Jim wonders if that's some of Cheryl's tests. He goes but changes his mind and return to his kids at home.
Cheryl makes friends with another mom from the girls soccer team. The woman is sweet, yet a bit obnoxious. Jim is annoyed by her presence, but Cheryl insists on him being nice to her. Little by little, Cindy starts to get into their lives and tell them what to do and not to do. Jim ends up buying a hot tub from her husband, thinking that might drive them away, but instead it only pulls them closer. They show up unexpectedly on the tub, which is the final drop for Jim. He tells Cheryl it's time for her to come clean and confess to Cindy that they don't like her. Just when she finally does that, Cindy's husband offers Jim season tickets for the Bears. In order to undo the break up he asked Cheryl to do, Jim tells Cindy that Cheryl is under medication for mood swings and that he's willing to do them anything. They move in for a week, while Cheryl decides to take some time off at her sister's "for mental health".
Pretending to be a man for an online auction, Cheryl discovers that Jim is bidding on memorabilia instead of shopping for a new dryer, but Jim thinks he's found a kindred spirit.
A trained bird flies into Andy's head in the backyard and Gracie adopts it as her bird pet, Daphne. The bird is driving everyone insane and they all can't wait to get rid of it, but unfortunately Gracie developed a deep emotional attachment to it. When someone leaves the window opened and the bird flies out in the middle of the night, Jim and Andy team up to go look for it at the park the next morning. When they spot the bird, their first reaction is not to tell Gracie, but Jim doesn't want to lie to his daughter anymore. Later, the real owner show up at the house and Gracie is forced to say goodbye to her feathered friend. Or is the thought of running away to Mexico more appealing than that?
Dana gets attention from a single father she meets in the park by pretending to be Ruby's mother. Meanwhile, Cheryl requests that Jim exercise more often - as a special favor to her.
Cheryl is suspicious of her recently widowed mother's new fiance, but Jim and Andy think he's great.
Jim and Andy are going to Vegas on a business trip and ask Dana to join them, since they need an extra help and she happens to be their "rabbit's foot" on gambling. Cheryl decides to join them and blackmails Jim when he says no at first. Cheryl has been secretly in touch with Jim's estranged sister Roxanne and plans for them to meet in Vegas. When they get there, Jim is not pleased to see his sister and tells Cheryl that no matter what she said he's sure she hasn't changed at all. Roxanne says she needs 2.000 dollars to start her business, which Jim takes as the first step on her plan, but Roxanne won't take either his or Cheryl's money. Instead, she gets it from her new husband: Andy, who has fallen head over heels for her and married her while the rest of the family was watching a show.
Andy is upset because no one approves or believes in his marriage to Roxanne. Jim goes to talk to her and walks in on her packing to run off with her ex boyfriend. He tries to stop her, unsuccessfully. Jim and Cheryl try to break the news to Andy before the business presentation, but he's so upset that he breaks down in tears on stage. While consoling Andy, Jim forgets about the foam hose and foam just floods the stage. Jim and Cheryl stroll in Las Vegas, glad that Andy is finally recovering from Roxanne and glad that their trip is over.
When Jim finds out that Cheryl has been paying 7 dollars to have the groceries delivered to their house, he insists that he does the shopping himself in order to save that incredible amount of money. Once at the supermarket, he sees how married men are "domesticated" by their wives and decides to rebel against Cheryl by shopping everything but the items on the list. Cheryl decides to turn the table on Jim and he does the same, until they end up going to a formal party on robes and underwear with their bodies all painted with lipstick. Cheryl finally gives in and they settle on paying the delivery boy the seven dollars in order to spare the Spice Channel subscription.
Jim is horrified when he sees his son Kyle with a green Packers ball. He tries by all means to change it for a Bears one, but the kid just can't let go of the green ball. Jim has nightmares about it and takes Kyle to his work in another attempt to get rid of the Packers ball. When he realizes there's nothing he can do about it, he does a little alteration on the ball so they can go to the Bears game peacefully.
Jim wrestles with his conscience after he cheats at a church fundraiser bingo game.
Cheryl says a friend of hers got jewelry for his wife for no reason and Jim says he's probably cheating on her. After Cheryl takes it offensively that Jim won't buy her jewelry because he doesn't think he has to – after all, they are married and he isn't cheating – he goes out to shop for earrings, only to find out he knows nothing about Cheryl. After spending three days dedicating himself entirely to paying attention to Cheryl – with a bit of Andy's help – Jim finds out that Cheryl's friend was indeed cheating and they finally make up.
Jim and Cheryl encourage the girls to make a lemonade stand and raise money for their scooters. What was supposed to be a lesson about the value of the dollar turns into a racy competition among neighbors when Bill and his next door neighbor Driscoll set up little amusement parks in their years. Dana and Andy pitch in, while Cheryl tries to stay out of it – until she gets into a catfight with the neighbor's wife. Once the police is called in, Jim realizes he's lost the purpose of the lemonade stand and decides to give the girls the rest of the money for the scooters.
Trying to lighten Ruby's homework load – and therefore look like he's helping her – Jim tells Ruby's teacher that Cheryl can't read.
It's Halloween and Cheryl is trying to host "the" party so she can own Halloween in the neighborhood. Dana brings in her newest date, Hank, who carries an awful lot of similarities to Jim. While refusing to admit she's dating Jim, Dana realizes the truth when she accidentally pinches Jim's butt thinking it was Hank. The next day she and Cheryl have a fight over the whole situation, which leaves it up to Jim and Andy to fix the friendship between the two sisters.
Gracie and Ruby have nightmares after Jim secretly takes them to see a scary movie. (ABC)
Jim creates an imaginary friend to avoid going to a couple's baby shower with Cheryl.
Cheryl cajoles Jim into attending a couples cooking class, which turns into a disaster, so she lets Jim pick out the next couples activity – paintball.
Cheryl starts to feel taken for granted as she prepares Thanksgiving dinner. She suffers the ultimate insult when she gets stuck on the roof after retrieving her tablecloth that Jim had fashioned into a ghost for Halloween, and no one notices her absence until she unhooks the satellite. To apologize, Jim tells her that he, Dana and Andy will prepare the dinner. Jim never thinks that Cheryl, being the control freak that she is, would allow that to happen, so he doesn't make dinner. Unfortunately, neither does Cheryl.
Cheryl caters to Jim's every whim to make amends for a big fight they had the night before-except Jim doesn't remember the fight at all.
Dana admits to Cheryl that she can't afford to buy Jim a Christmas present, so Cheryl lets Dana put her name on one of the presents she bought for him. Dana innocently picks out Cheryl's big present to Jim, but when Jim is thrilled with the gift, Dana is ready to take all the credit for it.
The Devlins place a bid on the house across the street from Jim and Cheryl, to their dismay.
Dana and Jim both covet their reverend - she for romance, he for the pastor's prowess at bowling.
Cheryl forbids Jim from throwing his cop friend Danny a bachelor party with beer and strippers. She fears that Danny will show up at his own wedding with a hangover – as Jim did at their wedding. Jim and his buddies decide to take Danny for a swim in bitter-cold Lake Michigan – forcing a hospital visit for Danny. The wedding morning, Danny stays in bed, moaning and groaning, and Cheryl frets, but the doctor assures everyone there's nothing wrong with him. Jim realizes Danny just has cold feet, so he tries to convince him to go through with his wedding to Laraine, a fellow cop.
Cheryl tries to impress her boastful cousin Mindy by posing as the lead singer of Jim's band – even though she has a terrible voice. Jim agrees to perform at Mindy's engagement party with Cheryl playing the part in order to teach his wife a lesson about embellishment by making a fool of herself. However, when Mindy tells Jim that her fiancé, Eric, is a record producer, he must decide between telling Cheryl the truth and making a bad impression on Eric.
Dana's first task at the ad agency is to cast the perfect TV family for a Disney cruise commercial. Cheryl and the kids get the job, but Dana's boss replaces Jim with a handsome actor in the role of "dad."
Jim takes umbrage at being replaced as the father in a promotional shoot for a cruise line.
Gracie's recent misbehavior makes Jim think she is lying about a friend giving her a new video game.
Jim's sister, Roxanne, shows up on his doorstep, pregnant, and lets Andy believe he's the father.
Andy resents a wealthy client, but then decides to date her.
Cheryl ask Jim to use his truck to transport a giant paper-mâché grizzly bear the girls made for "spirit week" to their school – except Jim just lost his truck in an arm wrestling match and, in a gesture of macho pride, refuses to ask for it back.
Cheryl promises to take Jim's opinions seriously when she decides to remodel the bathroom, until Jim insists it include a hideous high-tech stainless steel toilet – that talks.
Pack rat Cheryl asks Jim to rent a storage unit to house seven years' worth of the kids' art projects, but Jim refuses to pay the fee, so he tosses everything out, thinking Cheryl won't notice – until she needs some of the projects for a special retirement party for Ruby's art teacher.
Thinking it might get Cheryl to let him go on a fishing trip with Andy, Jim makes a "deposit" in the "marriage bank" by agreeing to go to a couples seminar with her. Jim's plans are foiled, however, when Dr. Ted, the marriage guru, declares the whole marriage bank mentality unhealthy and Cheryl learns Jim's real motives – so that Dr. Ted must intervene.
Jim develops a friendship with Dana's new boyfriend, despite the fact that the guy dumped Cheryl years ago.
Cheryl protests when a heat wave sends the family sneaking into a vacationing neighbor's pool -- until she starts sneaking over on her own.
Jim chickens out of having a vasectomy, but Cheryl is so effusive in her praise that he's unable to admit he didn't go through with it
Cheryl wants Jim to give up his vices so he can get her pregnant.
Cheryl surprises Jim with a romantic evening, but it cuts into his planned TV boxing match.
Jim offers to give Andy an old barbecue grill, then decides Andy should pay for it.
Cheryl and Dana are forced to smash their way out of a locked garage, because they ignored Jim's lesson on how to open the door from the inside.
Kyle wants to be Cinderella for Halloween. Jim is against it because he thinks he's growing up to be a sissy. Jim buys Kyle a manly costume (a dinosaur) but Kyle changes back into the dress. Jim, Andy, and Kyle all sit on the couch, Jim and Kyle persistent. Jim goes in the kitchen, sees an older Kyle who convinces Jim to let Kyle go as Cinderella. In the end, they all go as ladies and they trick-or-treat.
Ruby hurts Jim's feelings when she invites Andy to a father-daughter dance instead of him.
Cheryl's mother, Maggie, wants Jim, Cheryl and the family to rest someday in a family plot she reserved years ago, but Jim insists on his own family plot--then secretly reserves a a plot for himself next to a star football player.
To prove his worth as a man, Jim -- along with Andy -- hunt a turkey for Thanksgiving, but on the hunt Jim is pursued -- and shot -- by a legendary 40- lb. psychotic bird christened "Angry Pete." Thanksgiving-themed episode.
Cheryl's gynecologist (played by Mitch Rouse) forbids her from having sex with Jim until the time is right to get pregnant, and Jim eats crow in order to win a huge account from a blowhard potential client (Tom Arnold).
Jim tangles with a department store Santa after the two are involved in a parking lot fender bender. Unfortunately, Jim's kids witness the skirmish and are fearful Santa won't leave them any gifts for Christmas.
Jim befriends his obnoxious neighbors when he believes they bring good luck when he's watching the Chicago Bulls.
Jim buys a nanny-cam to spy on the sitter he didn't want Cheryl to hire but learns something about Cheryl instead, prompting her to buy a camera of her own.
To make Cheryl feel desirable, Jim fakes a jealous rage in a restaurant and tries to teach Dana's date to do the same, but the lesson backfires when Dana fears her new beau is paranoid and possessive.
Cheryl claims to like men who aren't afraid to cry, but when Jim bursts into tears after a movie, she is surprised to find herself turned off by his sensitivity.
Cheryl cooks dinner for Dana and her boyfriend and lets him believe that Dana actually did the cooking.
When Cheryl offers Dana the use of her wedding gown, Jim and Andy try to cover up the fact that the dress was destroyed in a fiery sports celebration years ago.
A hot delivery girl gives Jim some fashion advice, prompting him to grow a mustache, which Cheryl hates. Cheryl retaliates by becoming a brunette - but Jim loves it. After a chance meeting with the girl, Cheryl asks her to give Jim suggestions that will make him look ridiculous.
When Andy decides to learn how to dance for his sister's wedding, he turns to Jim, a closet dancer, for help.
In order to avoid going to an opera with Cheryl, Jim asks an elderly widower to be her escort.
Jim's pride in Gracie's new-found spelling-bee aptitude quickly turns to dismay when he has to drive her to tournaments all over the state.
Jim is shocked to learn that his recently deceased friend will be buried with a rare baseball card he stole from Jim.
Jim and Cheryl adjust the clocks to get the kids to bed earlier so they can have more quality time together.
Jim, certain he will win the annual hot dog eating contest, is humiliated when instead he loses to a petit woman (Suzy Nakamura), and his problems are further compounded when Andy decides to date the female champion.
When Cheryl's prim and proper bachelorette party disappoints Dana, Jim and Andy treat Dana to a rowdy night she'll never forget - but now will she make it to the wedding?
Cheryl and Dana think they have cause to worry when Dana's fianc - wants to race fast cars and Jim wants to take up skydiving.
Jim actually remembers his and Cheryl's anniversary - but Cheryl didn't! Improvising, she gives him the photo album that covers years worth of memories. They start reminiscing.
On Dana's wedding day, Jim accidentally knocks the family's favorite reverend unconscious with the car door, so he has to scramble to find a replacement preacher at the last minute, on the Season Finale.
The fifth season premieres with Jim sneaking off to a Cubs game with Kyle instead of taking him to his first day of kindergarten.
Jim worries that Cheryl's romantic expectations will increase when his new brother-in-law, Ryan, showers Dana with flowers and gifts. But then Jim learns that a special blues tape Cheryl supposedly made for him when they were dating, and that made him fall in love with her, was actually made for her by an old boyfriend
Jim worries that Cheryl's romantic expectations will increase when his new brother-in-law, Ryan, showers Dana with flowers and gifts. But then Jim learns that a special blues tape Cheryl supposedly made for him when they were dating, and that made him fall in love with her, was actually made for her by an old boyfriend.
When Cheryl wins two tickets to visit Hugh Hefner at the Playboy Mansion in a charity-raising contest that Jim secretly entered her in, she decides to take Dana instead of him.
Out-of-shape Jim enters a 10K marathon to teach Kyle, who wants to quit basketball, a lesson about not being a quitter -- but he cheats to get first to the finish line.
Cheryl, upset that Jim thinks her daily anecdotes are boring, steals Dana's story about meeting Oprah. Jim, now determined to out-do Cheryl, makes up a story about his construction office catching fire. But when Cheryl take the kids to see the damage, Jim and Andy, who are scrambling to make it look authentic, end up setting a real fire.
Jim helps Andy pick up a beautiful woman in a bar, but she turns out to be crazy -- and eventually leaves Andy and stalks Jim instead.
To teach Jim the value of communication, Cheryl doesn't speak to him for three days.
Jim tries to blackmail Dana when he finds out she’s having erotic dreams about him.
Cheryl encourages Jim to meet a former girlfriend wants to discuss business for lunch, and then regrets it when she becomes convinced that the old flame has romantic intentions.
When Cheryl and Dana's mother, Maggie, visits for the holidays, Jim and Cheryl compete with Ryan and Dana for her affection
When Jim and Cheryl watch an sex education video that is shown at Ruby's school, Jim realizes that he is watching a young him.
Ruby and Gracie want to get their ears pierced but Cheryl believes that this will lead to the girls growing up too quickly and convinces Jim. Jim and Cheryl renew their wedding vows and Jim walks down the aisle with an earring.
It's Jim's birthday and he gets upset when Cheryl gives him gifts he does not want, but is really happy when Kyle give him a stick for his birthday.
Cheryl and Jim get into a disagreement about Erik Estrada, and Jim tries to prove that the incident that occurred ten years ago was not wrong.
Cheryl believes she's attending a tasteful lingerie party, but is shocked to learn the hostess is selling sex toys and Cheryl buys one, but won't tell Jim.
Jim gets mad when he finds out that his neighbor Julie has been writing children books and basing them about him.
Jim makes his own neighbour cry with complaining about his backyard barbeque, so he ends up taking polite lessons from Andy, in order to become a better person.
Jim believes that Bill (played by Joseph Bologna), the father of one of Rubys and Gracies classmates is actually his real father that abandoned Jim when he was a child.
Cheryl gives her best to assure herself a spot on the Church Committee, and in order to get that, she forbids Jim to do his annual "Green Man" routine on St. Patrick's day. However, her plans are ruined when she gets arrested.
When Andy stars playing chess with Ryan on a regular basis, Jim is convinced that he is losing his best friend.
When a proud and happy Ryan announces that Dana is pregnant, Jim warns him of Dana's upcoming hormone swings, and ends up dreaming that he is pregnant.
Jim realizes that Cheryl has been spoiling their son Kyle for way too long, so he decides to make him a man by teaching him how to throw a perfect punch in self defense. However, things get out of control when little Kyle gets suspended for repeatedly hitting the school bully.
Jim ends up on a talk show after claiming that men shouldn't let women feminize them, and then goes to Dana's co-ed baby shower to prove his point.
When the family pet guinea pig swallows an eraser, Jim is forced to pay for an expensive operation.
Cheryl and Jim go to a motel in Indiana to celebrate their fifteenth wedding anniversary, but Dana's possible labor and a tornado interfere.
When Cheryl's beloved Uncle Donald dies, Jim takes over housekeeping, but soon starts to suspect that Cheryl is using him.
Cheryl persuades Jim to attend an anger-management class, but he soon learns that getting mad isn't as much fun as getting even.
Andy, Ryan and Jim are stunned when they find out that Dana and Cheryl recently appeared in a Chicks Gone Wild video.
When Dana gets into premature labor, and Ryan isn't able to come and deliver the baby because he is delivering a celebrity's baby, Jim has to be the one to deliver Dana's baby.
When Cheryl and Dana allow Jim and Ryan to take care of the kids and baby Tanner while they are out, things get out of control. Jim takes everyone to the museum and everything goes great until the Tyrannosaurus Rex display ends up destroyed.
While Ryan is away, Dana and baby Tanner are staying at Jim and Cheryl's, until Jim starts complaining about the presence of the baby, so Cheryl wants him to stay at Andy's for a while. While Jim and Andy enjoy their male bonding, Cheryl and Dana are enjoying their time together too. At least, until Ryan returns.
After an argument with a claims representative about his bill, Jim's health insurance is canceled, and Jim decides to hide the truth from Cheryl, until she ends up sick and he gets her cold.
Jim decides to toughen up his daughters basketball team and soon turns them from sweet and peaceful to an angry and aggressive basketball team.
Jim's bad softball game advice to Kyle turns to be Jim's worst nightmare when an Ghost of Andy visits him to show him the Adult Kyle's life as a loser.
Andy's new metal detector uncovers Jim's long-lost wedding ring, which causes headaches to Jim, because he bought a fake wedding ring as a replacement a long time ago so Cheryl wouldn't notice he lost it.
Andy and Jim end up in a war after Andy tries to sell him a grill that Jim gave him a few years ago.
After Tim and Cindy Devlin's sudden divorce announcement, Andy starts spending time with Cindy, which turns into a relationship, and an urge for Cheryl and Jim to break them up.
In order to avoid attending another musical with Cheryl, Jim finds a gay man to accompany her.
Cheryl throws Jim an unwanted surprise party for his 50th birthday, which Jim then sabotages, and then later reveals the real reason why he won't celebrate his birthday.
Crazed about the fact that Cheryl joined a dinner party club, Jim insults the very creator of women, God, who then gives Jim the power to try to do a better job, but Jim ends up making women behave like Jim would. Also, when Andy tries to make guys more like women, he turns himself and Jim into oversensitive girly guys.
Cheryl feels down when she can't use her sexuality to get a dinner table at a restaurant, so Jim tries to cheer her up by writing letter as a 'water delivery guy', but his plan soon makes Jim doubt if Cheryl is attracted to him or the delivery guy.
When Cheryl takes a greater interest in general safety and health, Jim feels stifled by her new rules and regulations. Just after Cheryl forces Jim to wear an I.D. badge during his morning jog, Jim is head-butted by a bull on a side road. While Cheryl learns that one can't anticipate every danger out there, Jim realizes that he's willing to do whatever it takes to make his family feel secure.
Cheryl and Jim have an evening at home without the kids and decide to stay in and just have dessert for dinner. But Jim's choice of pastries causes a spat which morphs into an all-out food fight. The next day they laugh off the night's argument; Jim is thrilled that they don't seem to have to talk things out. But then Andy, who's out for revenge on Jim for coaxing his kids to play pranks on him, counsels Cheryl to really dissect and analyze her marital arguments.
While Cheryl is out of town to take care of her mother, Jim has to take care of their kids, and he receives sympathy from a neighborhood mom. Soon, other moms start helping Jim, and he tells each one that she's the only help in the house.
While Cheryl is still out of town, Jim is having hard time dealing with Ruby's girl problems, so he assigns Dana to help her. However, when Dana tells Ruby to go out on a date with an older guy, Jim if forced to intervene, as he, Dana and Andy end up following Ruby to her date.
When Ruby and Gracie can't seem to stop fighting, Jim is "forced" to read their diaries to determine the cause, only to realize that he needs to give out delicate motherly advice to them, while Cheryl is still away.
When Cheryl returns home for a visit the kids end up occupying her time, so Jim decides to prepare a special date with her at the airport lounge, only to end up mistakenly arrested.
Without consulting with Cheryl, Jim transforms the garage into a cigar lounge and donates the kids' old clothes and furniture to charity. When Cheryl informs Jim that she is pregnant with twins, he is forced to retrieve all the stuff that he gave away, and has to deal with the fact that he is going to be a father of five.
Jim is forced organize a doll-themed party for Gracie while Cheryl is on bed rest, but when Gracie admits that the only reason she agreed to the party was because she wanted to please her mother, Jim decides to turn the party into something totally else.
Jim finds a way to use Cheryl's forgetfulness (a.k.a. "the pregnancy brain") to his advantage by trying to convince her that it was her idea to turn the basement into a media room instead of a room for Ruby and Gracie.
Realizing that Andy didn't use the gift certificate that Jim gave him for his birthday, Jim decides to use the certificate to treat himself with a nice meal, but soon Jim finds himself in an uncomfortable situation when Andy remembers the certificate and decides to invite Jim to join him for a meal.
Jim makes a rule he believes to be the perfect cure for children's fights, but when he enters a discussion with Andy, the both end up on the same "tribunal system," fighting to prove who's right.
Andy finally meets the perfect girl, but things get rough when he lets Jim babysit the woman's daughters, who then end up missing while Andy is having dinner with Emily.
Dana puts Andy under hypnosis to learn why all of his relationships don't last longer than six weeks. Upon learning that it's due to Andy's low self-esteem, Dana decides to boost up Andy's confidence, but she ends up making things worse when Andy starts flirting with other women while on a date with Emily.
Cheryl insists on playing a game that she somehow always wins, but Dana is aware of the fact that Cheryl is cheating.
Jim anxiously awaits for the moment when Cheryl is off bedrest so she'd take over all the chores, but Dana urges him to let Cheryl rest until she goes into labor. After meeting Cheryl's gynecologist, Jim learns that Cheryl was already allowed to be more active, but she didn't tell him.
The Devil himself visits Jim to remind him of the deal they made years ago, when Jim promised to give away his fifth child if the Devil helped him win over Cheryl.
Jim guilts the older kids into doing household chores after Jonathan's special blanket goes missing.
When Dana, Cheryl's sister and best friend, moves away, Jim realizes he must find Cheryl a new friend as soon as possible.
Jim and his band win a chance to play for a child pop sensation Jami McFame, but when the star gives them an attitude, Jim decides to set her straight.
Jim urges Andy to propose to Emily or risk losing her, but when he sees Emily dining with another man, he doubts the wisdom of his advice.
When Cheryl learns of Jim's plan to use their twins in a movie starring Steve Guttenberg to get some money for Christmas gifts, she refuses to let him do it, but Andy and Jim decide to go through with the plan anyway, only to have it backfire when the producers cut the kids hair to make them look alike.
Jim looks forward to a "guys only" weekend with Andy, but when Andy ends up dumped by Emily over a text message and when the guys stumble upon Emily's depressed ex husband, Jim decides to do his best to cheer up the guys and save what's left of their weekend.
Jim is convinced that an old flame wants to get back with him until he realizes that she wants to hook up with Andy, leaving Jim with a bruised ego.
Jim becomes intrigued by Cheryl's raving about a yoga teacher so he decides to try out the class, only to end up impressed by the teacher. Both Jim and Cheryl end up taking separate private classes to relax from their busy family life.
Jim prepares Kyle for his first "date" with Ruby's slightly older piano teacher, Mandy, whom Andy has fallen for and is secretly dating behind Kyle's back.
Andy, desperate to impress Mandy with the perfect birthday gift, turns to Jim for advice. Jim counsels against givivng fancy jewelry, urging Andy instead to give a sentimental gift to win her over. But Andy's recollection of what has meaning to Mandy is way off base, and instead of being pleased with the gift, she thinks he's cheating on her.
Cheryl and her friends, eager to get an afternoon away from the kids, arrange a "Daddy and Me" group for Jim and other dads with young kids at their home. Jim makes the best of a potentially boring situation by turning babysitting into a sporting event--staging baby races where the dads bet on their kids and drink beer.
Andy ends up injured after playing snow football with Jim, so Jim helps Andy make it seem like he had a freak accident because Andy was previously warned by his girlfriend not to play the game.
Jim attempts to look cool in the eyes of Ruby and her friends, until he realizes that he may be undermining Cheryl's authority due to his behavior.
Jim's bad back has him on prescription pain pills which has him in an altered state and opens up an opportunity for the family to share information which usually would upset him.
Jim uses his passion for sports to connect with son Kyle. But sports-challenged Kyle identifies more with fellow sci-fi nerd Andy, forcing a reluctant Jim to dress up as a Cyclops at a sci-fi convention in order to win his son back.
Cheryl forces Jim to donate time to charity. His reluctance turns to elation when he's rewarded with a thousand-dollar check for his efforts. Cheryl insists he return the check, but Jim is itching to buy himself somthing frivolous with the money. And to really test Cheryl's integrity, he spends the money on a pricey designer handbag for her.
It's Cheryl's birthday and Jim decides to buy her a diamond necklace. But in an attempt to save money, he buys the necklace from Andy's unreliable source and soon learns that it was taken off of a dead woman whose ghost now begins to haunt him.
When Jim chokes on a shrimp puff, he dies and arrives at Heaven's gate. With Jim on trial to prove his selfless acts on earth, best friend Andy is summoned to heaven to defend him. As Jim attempts to prove his good works to God, his sister-in-law, Dana, represents the Devil, arguing that Jim's selfishness should mean a certain trip to hell.
