This relationship has clearly grown cold.
This guy really hates talking to a computer!
Coffee with a smile really makes this guy’s day.
Being a vegan’s friend is so easy… if you just follow some simple rules!
Onions make this guy cry for a different reason.
This guy is clearly an anti-dentite.
The fungus is among us… You just have to agree with this guy’s rant!
If you and your kids stop clowning around this guy could get back to work!
Do NOT make everyone your personal Lost & Found!
Note to self: Don’t do laundry with this guy ever again.
Don’t worry, we’ll deliver your paper no later than 4:20 pm!
Who knew Australians made such great licorice?
No, I really DON’T want to know the surprise in your “Tuna Fish Surprise” you made last Tuesday!
All bark and no bite? Ladies, can you calm the beast within?!
Bacon, bacon, bacon, we all love bacon! Except when it’s cooked like ass…
The sounds of your Civic kick this lady into gear and send her flying into the red.
Now I know you didn’t just disrespect the food court, did you? The food court? Damn.
If the park belongs to the squirrels, why does it have a swing set? Oh yeah, that’s right -- game, set, match!
Gratuity is definitely included in this rant!
Pet abuse is a serious issue. Being abused by your pet is seriouser.
Frustrated munchies eats this guy up.
Marriage is a sacred bond bet… OH MY GOD, please go brush your teeth, like, NOW.
If you don’t get your transaction on, this guy might stuff you into the vacuum tube ‘thingies’!
I think you all know where this one is going. If you don’t… it’s about you.
Every gym needs this guy so we can all go work out guilt free.
Working at the drugstore makes this guy want to take crazy pills!
The screaming next door makes this lady drop what we like to call a carpet “F” bomb.
One guy’s bad drive home is another’s fortune cookie.
Lesson learned -- never mug a guy with a jacket on when it’s hot outside.
Gays also need dating rights apparently.
A shocked man finds that the food he loves is killing him.
The Heimlich Maneuver will not be used, if needed, during this meal.
This lady wasn’t too happy with this buried treasure.
This lady wants to apologize for being such a good driver.
Hey dick ninja bike thief, you can be proud, you stole from an eight year old!
A story about a peculiar beer run, thievery, and the support of fellow Americans!
Stealing condiments makes this roommate see red.
A web surfer is amazed what people ask for online.
I’m striking out -- you’re playing tonsil hockey. Mixed sports metaphors on the bus make me MAD!
If you know what’s good for you, don’t make eye contact.
A man tries to make sense out of his lack of attraction.
A battle over wet pants on a fence ends dryly.
Here’s a tip: Bring me my food, Olivier!
Ex-Boyfriend + Friend Invite = A Public Social Network Shaming.
It’s not just a 90′s sports fad. It’s a path to enlightenment.
An open ‘letter’ to the worst thief in the world.
Kleptomaniacal performance art?
What’s an aggro?
My dog, my yard, and I pick it up anyways… so step off!
Do you have any idea what a PTO is?
This is why they’re called wingmen.
Pretending to pick up your dog’s poop seems to be harder than just picking it up. So I did. Here.
This guy thinks his gay friends talking in cockney ain’t so funny.
A fanboy sees the fatal flaw in Star Wars.
If you think you're being original while naming your brood, you're wrong.
Did you hear about the bass player who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train?
A woman's daily battle with lost souls has finally taken its toll.
This lady is gonna puke if you don't quit playin' that uke.
If you ask me if I'm OK one more time, I'm going to need a shoulder to bite on.
Big Brother taxes the booze going in, The Man taxes it going out.
Looks like it's time to start Drama Queen's Anonymous.
Yellow makes her mellow. Green makes her obscene.
The nomination for stupid award ceremonies are...
Never bring out anything at the Dinner table your not willing to share, thats just good manners.
This man is on a mission to keep his flowers feces free!
A close shave has this lady delivering a quick cutting tease at a co-worker that has her permanently ticked off.
Green is usually the color of envy, but this time it’s snot.
I’m with this guy, it’s way too early to write a funny description.
This is why they say you should wash your produce folks.
This gent practices the kind art of passive-aggressive defensive driving.
Be a vegetarian because you love animals, not because you hate people.
Don’t offer this guy a penny for his thoughts.
When everyone bails, it’s probably you.
The next fist bump will be to your mouth.
This waitress has a tip for you cheapskates out there ordering from the kid’s menu.
y r u so la-z? k thx bai.
This guy is so steamed he could make his own latte.
Sunday morning is for dropping some z’s, not dropping your panties.
Q: How many times would you go out on a date with this guy? A: It Depends.
Mosquitoes blow. You thought I was going to say suck, didn’t you?
The Leftovers War has begun.
It’s not a fashion trend, it’s a mental illness.
Hit and run? More like you run and I hit you.
Ignoring people for a telephone: There’s a rant for that.
Let sleeping dogs lie. And let me sleep while you’re at it.
Real comments made about the show straight from our YouTube channel. BTW, we’re totally not homophones.
This one goes out to Steven Slater. You’re our kind of flight attendant!
Feline obesity is a serious problem that affects us… well just this guy so far.
When a lightbulb becomes your nemesis, it’s time to ride a bike.
Whatever you do, don’t ask this guy about politics.
This show is good, but there’s this other show I know that’s so much better.
Yes, that’s a real fire in the background. Original Post: ummmm u kinda sound bitter n stuff n dats not healthy so ima help u figure out why u r all bitter cuz i tink it could b 1-o-many reasonz so da 1st reasonz could b dat u r bitter cuz u r not gettin any so ifn dats da reason den u could go 2 da sex-em-up adz on cl n click away till u find 1 u like n get u some from dem n da 2nd reasonz could b dat u dont have enuf ruffage n ur system n u need 2 change ur diet n slug down sum metamucil mmmm good so da 3rd reasonz could b it is ur time-o-da-month n u need 2 take sum stuff cuz u r like real bitter n stuff u know n da 4th reasonz could b ur gastric bypass isnt workin cuz u r gainin weight instead of losin weight n dat is not good so u should not keep ur feedbag up 2 ur face 4 so long n da 5th reasonz could b dat u r sufferin from dat menopause thangie n u need sum estrogenz n dat could b it cuz u sound kinda PsYcHo n dat is one o da symptomz so imma try 2 splain dat 2 u wit graphs n stuff n u c dat graph wit all doz color linez well dey r like horomonlee changez n dat orange line is da pSyChO line n dat is goin up n da rest r goin down n round n round so da lil pic on da right shows u da symptomz n c dat PsYcHo 1 well dats da one i tink u have. i hope dis helpz u.
Why can’t this guy just sit in your business all day using your wifi?
It’s a bus not a dating service, so stfu.
Toilets shouldn’t be scary.
You should be banned from med school if you do this…
Happy Halloween!
This man’s position on shoes? They’re only fit to be tied.
This week’s rant: animated rage.
Our favorite piece of hate-mail reenacted.
The best way to deal with a pervert is a full frontal assault.
This guy must use the mute button a lot.
If you took the time to call, you should take the time to talk.
This is why the word ass is in assistant.
Aisle blockers make this man want to check out.
A hotel clerk dresses down a guest for going on a naked quest.
This guy is going to smack the quack out of you if he sees a pic of you with a duck face again!
This guy is going to smack the quack out of you if he sees a pic of you with a duck face again! Original Post: Oh, how I loathe the duck-face. Everyone is guilty of pushing their lips out for a picture at least once. Please fucking stop! I don’t care if you want to silly or cute or whatever the fuck that you’re going for. “Look at me! Aren’t I cute!” Fucking no! You like a little girl who wants some fucking attention. What better way than to stick out your lips like an idiot for your profile picture. I just love how your girls who do this see it fit to throw in a” peace sign” along with your stupid duck-face. What happened to simply smiling for a picture. Has that gone out of style now? Fucking hell! I swear to God, if I see another fucking duck-face, I will personally come over to your home and slap you in the face. God! No one wants to fucking see that! God dammit!
Dude. Seriously. What’s up with your invisible golf club swing? Just how many yards did you smack that imaginary ball? Did you use a one iron? Or what that a pitching wedge? I couldn’t tell… why? Because it’s a god-damn invisible golf club you ass-hat. How can you even tell if it was a good shot? Just watching you leads me to believe that you’re not even very good at golf.. yet, ironically, you’re IQ would make one hell of a golf score! And might I add, you’re indoors… standing in the middle of the aisle… right outside my cube. This is not the driving range. It’s an office. Where people work. So quit practicing your grip, forget bending your knees, or keeping your head down, and e-mail me that damn spreadsheet I’ve been waiting on. Bitch.
No, really, what’s a treelawn?
We’re sorry for posting on 4/21, we’re chronically late.
Yeah, we started making web-shows way before it was cool to, you know.
Here's a fashion rule we can all agree on.
42-12-7-22-33-3 in bed. Whoops sorry. Read the wrong side there.
Arriving at divorce in point five miles.
Anger level? Going up! Call 512.850.6239 and leave your rant after the beep.