RELEASE THE RIFFTRAX!! Yes, all too often a movie is reduced to a silly one-liner, a ridiculous catchphrase. This is a sad and unfair practice, demeaning to films with creative integrity and purpose. Fortunately, Clash of the Titans has neither! Upon viewing it, Sean Connery went out of his way to say “You are NOT the man now, dog!” When invited to a screening, Harrison Ford frantically searched for an excuse, finally issuing a panicked “I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK!” When a friend asked Admiral Ackbar to come along and see Inception again, Ackbar suspected he was being tricked into watching this movie instead and said...well, you know what he said. Our old Avatar friend Sam Worthington is along for the ride, maintaining his policy of only acting in front of green screens. Also, his policy of not actually acting. Also, his policy of letting his Australian accent slip through frequently, regardless of the role. Also, his policy of being a big charmless slack-jawed meathead. Also, his policy of general turdiness. Anyway, we’re big Sam Worthington fans around here. Mike, Kevin, and Bill can’t help but think this movie would have been improved by a star from L.A. Law and a goofy mechanical owl.