Episode 5

This week's "crate gag" involves Lee & Herring's crates being mistakenly placed in the Grandstand Studio. The error rectified, the duo are returned to the rightful studio and the show begins. When asked what he'd been up to this week, Rich recounts the storyline of the movie "Disclosure", before Stew points out that he's confused his life with the events of a film. A nice link to the storyline from the Harrison Ford film, "Witness", that of the peaceful & gentle religious cult, the amish, who had forsworn the use of all modern 20th century inventions in favour of a simpler life. This leads to a pre-recorded insert that tells of the Shrewsbury-based anti-modern community, "The Conkies", named after Ian Conkie - their founder. They have eschewed any invention that came after the 6th of December 1983. Their pastimes involve playing old Atari video games, and the staples of their diet include toasted sandwiches and Soda Stream drinks. Stew does try his best to point out the lunacy of their community, but they're not listening. They seem to like living their bizarre lie. Returning to the Studio sees more of Peter's lifestyle hints. After showing off his new pants, Peter suggests simulating going to an open-air rock concert by going to the High Road & looking at the drunk old lady who dances around singing "Eye Of The Tiger" outside the Abbey National. You can also join in the fun of the National Lottery for no expense, by getting a form and filling it in as the numbers are called out on the television, and imagining what it would have been like if you'd filled them in an hour previously & won. An alternative is "Lottery Scratch". Scratch yourself six times in different places, and if three or more of the scratches bleed, you win an extra scratch. He closes his segment with a recipe for "Easy Pasta". Simply put some pasta in your mouth until the saliva makes it go soft, and then serve. Hideous. Rich comes over and shows Peter some of the fan-mail he