Episode 3

Rich starts things off by telling us that it is, indeed, over for one of the world's most popular couples. Yes, the X-Files has finished. Undermining Stew's initial point about the marriage of Prince Charles & Lady Diana. When corrected, Rich claims that his sympathies fall on the side of Princess Di, because of all her secret work for charity. Work so secret that it was across the front of every newspaper, every day. Rich himself, apparently, does lots of secret work for charity in Diss in East Anglia where he nurses the sore paws of otters. This catches Stew's interest. He too does lots of secret work in Diss. He goes around infecting the paws of otters with salt. Rich is puzzled. If Stew didn't do this, they wouldn't have to keep going to Diss! Hobby loon Simon Quinlank's back. And he is angry. Stewart Leach from Glasgow has written in to the show declaring him "a jumped-up stamp collector". To prove Stewart wrong, Quinlank provides us with this week's hobby. "Train Ignoring". For this week's hobby, you will need a pen, a list of all the rolling stock in Great Britain today, a blindfold - or some eyelids, a flask of weak lemon drink, and a trainspotter. Simon's trainspotter of choice is called Alan. The premise of this hobby involves standing at railway sidings with the trainspotter and waiting. When you hear a train coming, cover your eyes & apply the blindfold. Your trainspotter will tell you which train has just gone past & you can then catalogue it, keeping a record of the trains that you have now ignored. Back in the Studio, Rich is trying to fill the gap left by the X-Files with their own show. After all, what have Scully & Mulder got that Lee & Herring haven't? Well, as Stew points out, they've got acting talent, real good looks, a top selling video, and nine million viewers in a peak time BBC one slot. But then, Stew wants the moon on a stick. The other thing, of course, that Scully & Mulder have over them, is an unconsummated sexual chemistry