Secondary Colours

Da and Cal have been asked to act as election agents for Deso Burke a Sinn Fein candidate for the seat of Dublin North East Central. Deso isn't exactly a pillar of the community - in fact he's seems to be a complete nutter! Spurred on by the news that their inlaws have headed south, Uncle Andy and Big Mervyn decide to take a weekend in Dublin themselves to "bring succour and relief to our fellow protestants". Their initial fears of being ridiculed, robbed and set upon by unfriendly locals are soon allayed when they find themselves the lucky "millionth customer" of a Dublin pub! Da and Cal have an equally rowdy night and they end up botching the application forms for Deso. Instead of proposing Deso for the seat, Cal mistakenly puts his own name forward and before he knows it, he is the official Sinn Fein candidate. Afraid of causing a North/South split within Sinn Fein, the party throw all their resources into Cal's campaign, with startling results. It soon appears that Cal has finally found his vocation - he is a hit with the voters and the only skeleton in his closet seems to be his family! Undeterred, the campaign organisers arrange for a "suitable" family for him - a wife called Jacky and a couple of cute kids. Naturally he wins the election by a landslide. The only blot on the horizon is the disgruntled Deso who feels that all Cal's subsequent successes (taking over the leadership of Sinn Fein from Gerry Adams , winning the General Election and defeating Bertie Ahern) should have rightly been his...