This is my description. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My description is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my description is useless. Without my description, I am useless. I must write my description true. I must write funnier than Jacob, who is trying to replace me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my description and myself are defenders of Funhaus. So be it, until there is no internet. Amen.