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Episode 1

The tour kicks off in France. John is in charge of the itinerary and he’s booked the team into a self-catering hotel in the quiet medieval town of Provins. Harry wants the lads to be on a detox and cook their own healthy food, but they don’t even get through the first night without hitting the beers and ending up at the curry House. Harry’s not happy. Last year, the lads lost nearly 8 stone between them. Harry’s hopeful that they’ve kept it up – but after a weigh in with fitness coach Luke Worthington, nothing could be further from the truth. And it gets worse, as Razor, who had a heart scare last year, reveals he’s been to see a Cardiologist and has been told he can’t exercise and needs to have a procedure on his ticker. Harry’s determined to get the boys back in shape for the grudge match against Germany, so he’s organised a big game in France against FC Metz. In the French Premier League, their veterans team, featuring David and Ray’s old Arsenal teammate Robert Pires has never been beaten. The lads are going have to pull out all the stops, especially seeing as they’ve lost their star striker Robbie Fowler, who’s currently managing a football team in Brisbane. Robbie promises to organise a great forward for the team, and doesn’t half deliver, in the form of Liverpool’s Michael Owen. But even with the support of Michael, the only Three Lions wearer to have scored in four consecutive major tournament, there’s no escaping this will be a tough match. As well as the football, with the lads back together, the mickey taking and mischief is in full swing. So after more than a few pints too many, Harry and John decide it's time to show the boys who’s Boss and organise a surprise 5-a-side game. The ex-England Players can’t believe their eyes when they see they’ll be playing a French nudist team. Will they be able to keep their eyes on the Ball? Being away from home is also a chance to catch up with each other's personal lives. Last year, Paul Merson rev


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