Dan, Jimmy and Timmy endeavour to do their Christmas shopping in a rival town. Meanwhile a couple (including an expectant mother) arrive in Killinaskully and seek a place to stay...
Two German film-makers come to the remote Irish village of Killinaskully in order to shoot a documentary. Their progress is very much reduced due to the machinations of the unusual locals, including the man-hungry housekeeper Goretti.
Love blossoms as both Mr. Cantwell, the local headmaster and German documentary maker Dieter fall for the schoolteacher Miss Fahey.
When old Fr. Mularkey is packed off to a home for the bewildered, the Killinaskully faithful wait with baited breath for their new priest. Their faith is put to the test, however, when the new cleric turns out to be a little more exotic than they're used to.
Nothing unites a community like bad news and so the whole village rallies round when Timmy's demise is imminent. A trip to his beloved ""Spudworld"" is hastily planned but, as Timmy heads for the airport, the terrible truth emerges.
Killinaskully GAA club have been using ""the pitch"" for as long as anyone can remember, so, when the widow Gilhooley puts it up for auction they are confident it will be theirs. That is until a flamboyant yank swaggers into town. Will the yank get the field, or will the Dan put a stop to this ""outsider""?
Killinaskully is in festive mood as it prepares for the funeral of one of its most famous sons, ""Jumpin Gerry Houlihan"". Preparations for an extravagant burial are thrown into disarray with news that Jumpin Gerry has already been cremated. Things get a little embarrassing when the great man's ashes disappear and it's left to Jimmy Magee to restore the village pride.
It is time for Killinaskully town council elections and, as usual, Willie Power is the likely candidate. However, things begin to turn bad for Willie when Dieter enters the race as a Green Party candidate, promising reforms. Meanwhile, chaos ensues in Jacksie's. The publican's niece plans to take toasted sandwiches, Taytos and Pink Snacks off the menu.
To lengthen the odds for a big race, Willie wants Jimmy to nobble his prize greyhound, Moyganny Lady, so she will lose her next two races. Meanwhile, Dieter plans to pop the question to Miss Fahy.
A visit from the gung-ho US President, Zachary Taylor Madison, fills the Killinaskullians with excitement. But when the town is taken over by Secret Service agents, only Dan, Killinaskully's own spin master, can put the president in his place.
While Nurse Maloney tries to whip Timmy into shape, the wedding of the year is put on hold after Dieter is found in a compromising position in the ladies' toilet. Despite the best efforts of Cantwell to take advantage of the situation and Miss Fahy, a romantic gesture of Hollywood proportions saves the day.
Dan gets more than he bargained for when he places an ad in the lonely hearts page of the Gazette, while Jacksie and Fr. Philip go head to head over the "whatcha-call-it" machine in the Gents.
The Killinaskullians are poised to take on arch enemy, Bally, in the second Annual One-Act Drama Festival. It's been fifty years since the first one, so all eyes are on Dan as he thatches the set of "The Priest And The Pot O' Soup" but, with it being Halloween, there might be a scary outcome.
Dan is visited by three ghosts on Christmas night who help him discover the true meaning of the season.
Killinaskully finds its voice when KCR radio takes to the air. Dan's Roger Whitaker albums are a big hit and Goretti tries to spread some romance with her phone-in show. But will the station coax people away from Jacksie's as Fr. Philip intended? Probably not.
It's a bad day for fr. Phillip when he discovered his that bally's new Parish priest is his old nemesis, fr. Bob 'speedy' Gilmartin. With the sports day coming up, all eyes are on the all priests 10k road race and the u-12 'friendly hurling match' between Killinaskully & the Bally boys.
When Miss Fahey disappears there is chaos at the school. Willy struggles to get a new principal before the school inspector arrives.
When Dan refuses to retract the sexist remarks that he makes about women drivers, all the women in the village go on strike
It's Hallowe'en and Dieter decides to try out some new cheese on the unsuspecting Killinaskullians. With Merry Men, Zombies and a visit to the ER, Dieter's gastronomic episode turns into a bit of a nightmare ... or two ... or three.
When a leak is sprung in the roof of the community hall, Willy Power decides to use the EEC lifeboat money to fix it. Chaos can only ensue when an inspector visits wishing to see the lifeboat... elsewhere Goretti discovers the delights of trampolining.
Dan, Jimmy and Timmy discuss the existence of Santa in Jacksie's. Larry Cummins tries to persuade Fr. Philip to hold a nativity play while in the confession box. Fr. Philip suggests a Christmas concert instead. Goretti is asked to participate but is upset at the refusal of her magic act; cutting herself in half. Dieter goes Christmas shopping, leaving Timmy in charge of his cheese stall in the village. Sergeant Dick attempts to sell a lightsaber to Pa Connors. Willie Power asks Dick to dress as Santa for the village grotto but has to stand in himself at the last minute as Dick is called into duty. Later the stage is set for a special performance by Goretti and the Gorettis as the finale of the Christmas Gala Evening.
Pa Connors has yet another get rich quick scheme while jacksie bans peaking English in the pub. Pa soon finds that the course of true love does not run moothly. Especially where horses are involved.
With a by-pass threatening the future of the village and rumours circulating about the arrival of the Olympics, it would take all of Willie Power's cunning to save the day. unfortunately, Willie is too busy trying to become a stoat.
With Killinaskullly in the grip of a crime spree, a concert by country singer turned rapper, Big Diddy, might bring some relief. However, with Timmy playing records backwards, he might be facing a rap himself.
An old scouting buddy of Dan's proves popular with the locals even though Dan has no recollection of ever meeting him. When the visitor dips his hand in everyone's pocket it might be time for Dan to turn detetive.
A mysterious stranger with an intriguing map lures Dan on a spectacular treasure hunt. With a giant golf ball on the loose and the dreaded Bally Boys up to their old tricks it will probably end in a crushing defeat.
Things are looking up for Dieter when Catherine returns from her travels and agrees to be his bride. But with fighting in-laws and Timmy in charge of the rings, it'll be a miracle if anyone gets taken up the aisle.
The people rejoice that the pub has closed for good, citing drink-driving as the main reason.
Theo's mother dies but leaves Theo nothing in her will due to her being a secret opium addict (according to her solicitor).
It's festival time and hordes of mountainy men descent on Killinaskully to contest the bachelor competition. The hopes of the village rest on Jimmy and his robotic dance.
The annual Killinaskully vs. Bally Rally
Dan, Timmy and Jimmy are convicted of manslaughter by Justice Blennerhassatt at Faggart Courthouse.
It looks like Dan's distinguished life on the dole is coming to an end when he pens an ill-tempered letter to the minister. There's nothing for it but to retrieve the offending post, but with a shop full of pensioners, a swat team and a rebel with a parcel bomb to contend with, Mr. Green and Mr. Pink have their work cut out for them.
It's Halloween and Cantwell manages to lose himself and his entire class on a school trip to the forest. Eating mushrooms only complicates matters and, when Dan takes charge of the search party, the whole affair turns into a circus - literally.
During Christmas 1944, the village's Local Defence Force fail to protect the nearby power station in Part I. In Part II, panic grips Killinaskully as the Luftwaffe attack.
It's Christmas 1944 and the precious Faggart Power Station is in the hands of the Killinaskully Local Defence Force. When a surprise visit from DeValera finds the troops QWOL and the Defence Committee tired and emotional, Killinaskully will have to mbilise the entire village to get back in the Taoiseach's good books.
Killinaskully is in the grip of the emergency and DeValera is in the grip of paralysis. the skies are filled with Germans, the shelling never stops and, to make matters worse, there's no booze. But there's still time for a morale boosting christmas Ceili with an explosive conclusion.
