Margaret finally gets her second honeymoon with Danny, but a friend needs him to open for him in Atlantic City, the same place where the honeymoon is taking place. A flashback occurs which tells what happened on their first honeymoon in 1941. In the end, the Williams' get their honeymoon.
Danny showers the children with money to give them a hint about getting a present for his birthday. But the children don't know,and spend it on the custodian of the building, who was once a sailor. They buy him a shirt. In the tag, the children perform a play due to Danny's love of the arts. (Which He Expressed in a song in this episode)
After dispensing a lecture to the kids on unselfishness, Danny discovers that they have brought a bum, albeit an emeritis college professor, into the house without his knowledge.
Terry is walking on a cloud when she is asked out by the president of the student council. Danny doesn't know what to do when he finds out the only reason he is dating Terry is so her father will perform at their school dance. After the news is broken to her, Terry is heartbroken.
Danny and Margaret are going on a trip to Boston and they hire a governess. Grandma shows up to take care of the care unexpectedly. Grandma and the governess have completely different ideas of how to handle the children.
After seeing the play, 7-year-old Rusty imagines that he can fly like Peter Pan, so his father invites the theater's elderly stagehand to the house to dispel the fantasy and bring Rusty back down to Earth.
The family takes a vacation to Baraboo, Wisc. to visit the couple that took care of Margaret when her parents were on the road. Danny has a hard time dealing with the quiet on the farm. Rusty goes to find arrowheads and gets lost. Song at end.
Danny gets carried away with Margaret's accounts of sightseeing in London. He begins to dream that he is Robert Browning.
Margaret's mooching cousin, Carl, visits the Williams. He quickly moves in, and makes Danny very upset. Danny finally puts his foot down, and reshapes his character. The once lovable Carl becomes a hard worker, but he is no longer any fun. Danny finally gives in to his children (and Margaret), and Carl becomes as lovable as ever.
Danny is at a loss when daughter Terry balks at appearing in a school play. Even the son of a former vaudeville partner prefers a medical career to show business.
Controversy brews at the Williams house while Uncle Tonoose visits. When Terry is not tapped to join a soroity she would like to join due to her heritage, her uncle teachs her a big lesson.
Songwriter Harry Ruby offers his services as accompanist on Danny's USO tour.
Danny showers the children with money to give them a hint about getting a present for his birthday. But the children don't know,and spend it on the custodian of the building, who was once a sailor. They buy him a shirt. In the tag, the children perform a play due to Danny's love of the arts. (Which He Expressed in a song in this episode)
Danny makes the supreme sacrifice when son Rusty complains he's the only Cub Scout in the pack not represented at the den-mother meetings.
Danny runs into family problems after he takes a look at daughter Terry's diary. He has a hard time deciding whether or not he should let Terry known what he has done.
Danny goes to see Rusty's fourth-grade teacher, Miss Lorraine Andrews. He doesn't approve of her method of teaching at all. She, in turn, says that singing in a night club is much easier than teaching school. Danny challenges her to prove it, and she shows up to prove her point. The next day Danny brings her an apple as a peace offering, and they reconcile, but Danny manages to re-offend her yet again by minimizing the importance of her profession. After her emotional outburst, Danny writes ""I AM A DOPE"" repeatedly on the blackboard.
For his birthday, Danny makes a special trip home from his tour of night-club engagements. He is somewhat disappointed when it appears daughter Terry and son Rusty have forgotten this momentous event!
Danny meets a woman he hopes will be the perfect mother for his kids.
Terry decides to quit school in favor of a modeling career, much to Danny's dismay. He connives to discourage her from leaving school without arousing her suspicion.
Danny's popularity disrupt Danny and Kathy's honeymoon. Jack Benny appears in this episode.
Danny finds himself in the middle of a family controversy when daughter Terry begins to resent her new stepmother. Now that Kathy does all the things for Danny that Terry used to do, the teenager feels left out and unwanted by the family.
When Danny learns that his Uncle Tonoose is about to visit, he's afraid that the family patriarch might not approve of his bride Kathy
Terry, as chairman of her school's Heart Fund dance, is forced to choose between Dinah Shore and Kathy as vocalists for the event. Kathy is confident she can fill the bill because of her brief career as a high school band singer.
Rusty re-acquaints his new little sister with the methods used to soft-soap parents.
Danny and Kathy attempt to show that they are as young and spry as ever by indulging in an all-night dancing spree, followed by a morning of golf and tennis
Danny's father-in-law loves fishing, a sport Danny knows nothing about. In an attempt to impress the testy old gent, Danny burns the midnight oil studying the art of fishing - and comes up with all the wrong answers.
Danny's son Rusty is discouraged when the owner of a lost wallet rewards him with only a curt "Thank You." Danny attempts to restore his son's faith in human nature and almost loses his own wallet in the process.
Terry gets a job at a local dress shop. But Danny doesn't realize that she resents his attempts to help her.
Family unity is threatened when Terry asks Danny to play the role of a cultured gentleman for the benefit of her sorority sisters. The sorority committee taxes Danny's temper and almost loses Terry her most valued friend.
Danny and his father-in-law offer to help Rusty finance his entry in the Soapbox Derby.
Danny fully expects to perform at Rusty's Cub Scout show for the third consecutive year and is annoyed at be asked again, until he finds he's been replaced by Jack Benny.
Kathy thinks Danny is sending the wrong message to Rusty, who is running for Class President and is using his father's suggestion to throw a rally, replete with lots of ice cream and Danny's telling jokes, to 'buy' votes for Rusty.
When Danny and Kathy disagree and argue about who proposed to whom, Mr. Daly urges Danny not to apologize to his daughter.
Danny reads an article about teenagers running away to get married. As a result he gets worried over his own teen-aged Daughter, Terry. Then he finds out she is going steady with a boy named Walter, which only worries him more. "Walter" is played by Rusty Hamer's real life Brother, John Hamer.
Chaos ensues when, because of Kathy's forgetfulness, Danny and Kathy dine with the Wolfs, where they weren't invited, much to the dismay of Mr. and Mrs. Fox, where they were invited.
Rusty balks when Danny won't give him $15 for a model airplane, but Kathy and Danny promise Linda a locket from the tooth fairy.
After Uncle Tonoose, family matchmaker, has married off his last relative, he comes to visit Kathy and Danny and announces that he wants to lead the life of a playboy.
When Danny tries to calm a terrified Linda, who needs her tonsils removed, he soon needs some consolation himself.
Tension mounts between Danny and Dinah Shore, when they are slated to open at different nightclubs on the same night.
On the eve of a 20 year reunion with old Toledo chums, Danny is feeling a bit smug at his great success with one year of high school while he friends completed their education. The tide turns when the group reunites and Danny learn that Charlie is an eminent surgeon, Harry, a prominent NASA scientist and Joe, a senior member of the diplomatic corps.
Bored with her housewife routine, Kathy accepts a glamorous job at a fashion magazine.
After encountering a group of wayward young men, who possess huge musical talent, Danny intervenes with school authorities to put them on the straight and narrow, with a view towards launching their show business career.
When Lucy and Ricky Ricardo pay a visit to the Williams family, Danny makes the mistake of advising Ricky to halt Lucy's shopping sprees by closing all of her charge accounts.
Uncle Tonoose travels from Toledo with Danny's cousin, Stephen, in tow, asking Danny to scratch Stephen's itch for a show business career.
After Danny lectures the children on the meaning of helping the less fortunate, Rusty and Linda bring "Kentucky Cal," a lonely drifter, home for dinner. Kathy and the kids become attached to the colorful Cal, but Danny wants to know more about this mysterious character.
Danny is outraged when Rusty and Linda are assigned minor roles in their school's upcoming production of "Alice in Wonderland" and argues with Mrs. Foster, the play's director. When she resigns in a huff, Danny takes over, only to find himself with Bob Hope, whose nephew has also been cast, offering his own unique style of 'shtick' while advising Danny on his direction.
When Kathy's friend takes in a Norwegian exchange student, Danny, missing his teen aged daughter, Terry, who's away at college, decides to sign on as well. When the authorities deem the Williams' household unsuitable because of Danny's profession, Danny, Rusty, Linda and Kathy set out to change their thinking and are determined to house their very own student.
Danny awaits the arrival of Italian exchange student, Gina Minelli, with great anxiety. The Williamses do everything they can to welcome the shy and homesick girl, but Danny, particularly, makes all the wrong, albeit, well intentioned moves. Inevitably, he stumbles upon the right tack and a very happy Gina feels very much at home.
Danny receives a letter from his old and beloved friend and mentor, Otto Nielsen, telling him that his daughter, Shirley, is in New York, hoping to land a job at the Copa. Danny is dismayed when he meets Shirley, a brassy, gum chewing girl who can't sing. When a worried Otto shows up at the Copa, he doesn't recognize the beautiful and innocent daughter who left home three weeks earlier. After some attitude, wardrobe and vocal adjustments, Danny is captivated by Shirley and sees a bright future for her in show business.
As Gina attempts to adapt to the American high school social scene, Danny takes it upon himself to help her get the attention of the star football player.
Rusty turns to Danny and Kathy for advice when he becomes smitten with a cute girl at school.
Gina is thrilled to learn that her idol, Frankie Laine, is performing with Danny at the Copa. She and her friend ask him if he would perform at their high school dance and Mr. Laine, who has taken a shine to Gina, consents. Gina is overjoyed, but as she's getting ready for her exciting evening, Kathy, a former nurse, notices that Gina is down with the measles. Danny promises Gina that Frankie Laine will come back to the Williamses apartment to sing to her after the dance, but Frankie says he has other plans - without the Williamses knowledge, Frankie goes back to ...
Danny takes a ribbing from Phil and Harry, both confirmed bachelors, when they ask Danny along on a fishing trip, but know that he must ask Kathy's permission to go. When Danny protests that this is not true, things get even stickier when the men go back to the Williams' apartment and Kathy tells Danny that she's made vacation plans, without consulting him.
When suave Mario Firenze, a young man from Gina's hometown, arrives at the Williamses, he charms everyone with his continental ways. He takes an interest in a befuddled Gina, who tells Danny and Kathy that his family are aristocrats and that he would never give her the time of day back in Palermo. Everything is clarified when Gina receives a letter from her mother, warning her that Mario has traveled to New York to use Gina and enlist Danny and his show business connections to further his singing career.
Danny is furious with Phil, when he loses all of the material for Danny's opening at the Copa. The two cross swords and Danny fires Phil. Kathy intervenes when she goes to visit Phil, who has found the missing jokes and song parodies. Phil hands over the envelope and Kathy puts it in her purse, which she subsequently loses. Kathy's in a panic when she breaks the news to Danny, who characteristically explodes. In the midst of their bickering, the building doorman produces Kathy's handbag. Phil drops by, the two men reconcile and Danny has everything he needs for his ...
Kathy's grandfather comes to visit the Williamses, but Grampa must be watched. He is on a very strict diet, but insists on eating everything that's not good for him. After admonishing him and cajoling him, Danny uses some psychology. Danny gives him carte blanche to eat whatever he wishes, but Grampa refuses. He confesses to Kathy and Danny that he enjoys the thrill of the hunt and comes to realize and understand that he must comply with his doctor's orders.
Danny decides to become a canidate for abbot of the Friars Club. He discovers that he must first win the backing of rival groups within the organization.
One night after Danny's show, an enthusiastic and very wealthy fan comes backstage, requests that Danny do his act all over again for him and promises to take him to the most expensive dinner in New York. Danny politely refuses, but the gentleman is persistent -- the next day, the Williams' apartment is inundated with expensive gifts for everyone, much to Danny's extreme annoyance. That evening, the gentleman visits the Williams' apartment, to apologize for his behavior and it becomes increasingly evident to all that this is a kind and lonely man, who simply wants ...
As the battle of the sexes heats up between Danny and Kathy, Gina gets a phone call to tell her that she's been nominated to run for Class President. It's wonderful news, except she's running against her steady boyfriend, Buck. Danny backs Buck and Kathy helps Gina in their respective campaigns, until some ugly leaflets are floated around the school urging students to "Vote American." Buck is hurt for Gina and steps aside and Gina accepts to the applause of every student assembled in the school auditorium.
When a dozen kittens are delivered to the Williamses, Danny realizes that, yet again, he's the victim of one of Charley Halper's practical jokes. Danny plots his revenge when he suggests to Charley that they engage Muriel Schultz, the Williamses chubby, temporary maid, suggesting to Charley that's she's beautiful and hugely talented. Muriel is a performer and takes her Copa debut very seriously and Danny soon realizes that she will be hurt by all of this and Danny and Kathy figure a way out of all of this. The only solution is to allow her to perform as scheduled and,...
Nobody gives Linda's imaginary friend, Mr. Jumbo, a second thought until a school psychologist visits Danny and Kathy and suggests that Linda cannot separate fantasy from reality and faults Danny for all of this. Danny does all he can to spend quality time with his daughter, but when pressed, Linda will not admit that Mr. Jumbo is a figment of her imagination. Danny threatens to spank her for lying to him, but she is literally saved by the bell, when "Mr Jumbo," a new doorman at an adjacent building is at the door, vindicating Linda and utterly discrediting school ...
Danny had a car accident. He's perfectly willing to forget it as there was little damage, but the other person insists on going to court to prove it was Danny's fault. Danny gets mad and says to go ahead, his children were in the car and witnessed it. When Linda says she wasn't paying attention, Danny asks Rusty if he saw it without stopping to ask what Rusty saw. Rusty is torn between helping his father and telling the truth.
Linda's new friend "Charlie" is not allowed to play with her. Chou Li's father has deemed her a bad influence. Danny and Mr. Chow butt heads over the true meaning of respect.
Terry believes Danny's marriage is in trouble because he takes Kathy for granted. She thinks their marriage should be more like her newlywed friends Jerry and Bunny, but each of Terry's romantic suggestions results in crossed wires.
Terry is dating a string of European playboys who all have no money. When Danny gets a $70 bill for meals, he comes up with a plan to cure Terry of foreign moochers.
Kathy is jealous when Danny is out all night helping a former showgirl who is now a headliner. Danny laughs her jealousy off as a perfectly natural reaction - for a woman, which only makes Kathy determined to prove men can be jealous too.
Terry has fallen in with a bunch of beatniks. Danny not only can't understand what they're saying, he's not sure he understands the way they think.
Rusty is having bully problems at school again. This time Danny has him lifting weights to build up his strength and confidence
Danny wants Pat Harrigan to propose to Terry, but Uncle Tonoose has a different idea.
Danny's new show is a bomb, so Milton Berle stops by to offer him encouragement. Milton goes on to say he's left showbusiness - hadn't Danny noticed? - and is doing great in oil investments. Danny decides to follow suit and quit showbiz too.
Kathy and Terry are not happy when Danny and Pat cancel their plans in order to work on fixes for the new show. When Danny backs out on their vacation, Kathy plots with Charlie Halper to change Danny's mind - by making him think he's seeing little green men.
Danny's building was sold and the new landlord doesn't like noise, pets, or people in showbiz. Danny is miffed when the landlord tells him to stop playing the piano. Danny says there's nothing in the lease about piano playing, only pets. Wait until Danny finds out Kathy and the kids have smuggled in a dog.
The Friar's Club is having a Family Night Talent Show so Danny has rehearsed a musical dance number for Rusty and Linda, and is planning to sing Daddy's Little Girl with Terry. Kathy is upset that she's not included as part of the "family" show. When Danny reminds her that she has no theatrical talent, Kathy leaves the next morning to make the audition rounds. SONG: My Mother Won't Let Me Cross the Street
Danny and Pat want to pick up a side business. Charlie lets them in on a deal to tear down a building and put in a parking lot. All Charlie has to do is get rid of the nightclub that's leasing the building, and the tenants are way behind in the rent so that's no problem. Or at least it wasn't until Danny and Charlie go to check out the place and find an old friend has sunk all her money into the club. The old owner let them slide until the nightclub could build up a following, and she is worried the new owner won't give them any more time. SONGS: My Mother Was A Lady ...
Danny is up for a big network show, but the network decides to give it to Jack Benny. When Jack shows up at Danny's place to say no hard feelings, Danny loses it. Why you? All you do is say "well" and everybody laughs. Jack asks Danny "what do you think, I'm in league with the devil?" When Jack leaves, Danny starts thinking.
Danny and Kathy can't agree on where to hang their new painting. Terry and Pat had discussed where to go for their honeymoon and reached a decision - until Danny and Kathy weigh in and each try to get their way.
Kathy has been excused from jury duty, but Danny insists it is her duty to go. When Kathy points out that Louise is on vacation, Danny says he has time off and can run the house while Kathy is gone. After all, how hard can it be? Kathy decides to let him find out.
Rusty comes to Danny for help with a decision. A local merchant will buy the baseball team all new uniforms if they let his son pitch once in a while - but the boy's a terrible player. Danny tells Rusty not to sell out. When Phil says they turned down a network show because the sponsor wants a yes man, Danny tells him to go make the deal and turns into "a weak-kneed apple-polishing hypocrite".
Danny enters in his new tailcoat to make an announcement. He has just secured the Cotillion Room for Terry's wedding, she's going to have her dream formal wedding with champagne and caviar. Terry is thrilled. Uncle Tonoose arrives to say everything is set for the wedding: cousin is stomping the grapes for the wine, 6 trucks of relatives are on their way (and 1 truck of sheep to roast), the violinists are booked. It's going to be a real old-fashioned Lebanese wedding, three days and nights. Who is going to tell Uncle Tonoose no?
Danny went past a stopsign in the small town of Mayberry, because there was no crossroad. Sheriff Andy Taylor comes and arrests Danny. He said the town council had decided to make a crossroad there, but there was only enough money for a stopsign. Danny demands to see the Justice of the Peace. At this, Andy takes out a sign and says he's the Justice of the Peace. By now Will Hoople, the town drunk, has come in and locked himself in his jailcell. Andy explains he gets drunk everyday, and he arrests himself for it. Will had been deputized to do this to himself! Danny finally agrees with his wife and decides to the ordianry fine of $5 to $10. He takes out a huge wad of cash, and he gives him more money and more money. Danny doesn't care if Andy is robbing him, after all he's a big time star. Andy sees this as a time to get more money, and tells Danny he has to pay $100 or spend 10 days in jail. Danny is furious! He goes in his jailcell, and demands his one call. While he'd dialing th
The family is about to meet Pat's father (Jack Haley). Pat Sr is delighted to meet everyone, except Danny who "stole" his song. The two make up, but continue to fight over everything from the engagement toast to the wedding guests. SONG: about Irish names in Hollywood
Cousin Habib has chosen who will give his eulogy, so Uncle Tonoose tries to one-up him again. He wants Danny to give his eulogy - and to write it now so Uncle Tonoose can hear and approve it.
Rusty gets a new football uniform. When he and his friends go up to his room so he can try it on, Linda tags along. Rusty stops her, telling her "Football is for boys. You were born a girl, better luck next time." Linda wants to be included, so Linda becomes "Louie".
During Pat's bachelor party, he tells Danny that he can't possibly give Terry the life she deserves. Pat is calling the wedding off.
Danny wants to pitch in and help a reluctant Rusty with a father/son project: building a doghouse.
Everyone is caught up in the last minute plans for the wedding - except for the father of the bride who is feeling like a third wheel.
Terry's only been gone one day and Danny's already down in the dumps missing his little girl. When he gets a phone call to fill in for an ailing Jimmy Durante, Danny thinks that would be a wonderful break for Pat - and a way to get them back in town.
Danny is excited to get a visit from his boyhood friend Jim (Jim Backus) who used to look out for Danny when they were boys in Deerfield, MI. Danny is proud to show Jim his success, but Kathy figures out Jim was hoping Danny still needed him.
Danny tries to help a talented young singer whose career may be hurt by his surly attitude.
There's a big dance in the offing but Barbara, a tomboyish young lady who plays on Rusty's baseball team, hasn't been asked to go. Danny and Kathy convince Rusty to ask her and she blossoms into a pretty young lady.
Mr. Gaylord is a famous artist who just might paint a Williams family portrait. Of course he would have to get to know the family before making up his mind, and to do that he moves in.
A show business reporter is talking about her wonderful son who is coming to visit from military school. When she is called away on an overnight assignment, Danny suggests they look after her son for the night hoping he will be a good influence on Rusty.
Linda is mad because she lost her skates and Danny and Kathy refuse to buy her a new pair. She cries "you don't love me" and decides to run away from home. Big brother Rusty tells her to forget it, it's a bad idea. Rusty tells her about the time he ran away from home (Season 4 episode 25) in flashbacks. Danny got a call to perform at the Sands, but it meant he had to back out on a promise to play at Rusty's school. Rusty ran away - to an orphanage.
Danny prepares for Linda for her television debute.
13-year-old Rusty loses his dog-walking job to Jose, the building's elevator operator.
Danny doesn't like the way Bunny bosses Charley around.
Kathy is persuaded by the PTA to perform for them even though he's rehearsing for The Ed Sullivan Show. Nancy Kulp and Maudie Prickett appear as PTA members.
Jose needs to rent the Copa at a deep discount for an afternoon.
Rusty is now old enough to drive, and Danny is having trouble accepting the fact that his son is growing up.
Danny is paid back $50 he supposedly lent a long time ago. Pat Buttram guest stars.
After tearing her girlfriend's dress during a fight, Linda buys her a fancy new one and charges it to her father's account.
Danny is hopeful that Rusty will ask him be his partner at an upcoming Father and Son bowling tournament.
Danny is disheartened because his family is so caught up in the material aspects of Christmas that they seem to have forgotten its real meaning. He comes up with a plan he hopes will remedy this.
The renovations to the Williams/Halper Connecticut country home are finally complete, and the two couples spend a weekend in the country together. It doesn't take long for the best friends to become annoyed with each others habits.
When Danny complains to Kathy about her overspending, she cons Phil into giving her a temporary job as his secretary.
Frank's mother needs a new washing machine, so he cons Danny into appearing with him on a quiz show in hopes of winning a brand new one.
Danny, Charley, and their wives are perplexed by the snobbish behavior of their Connecticut countryside neighbors.
Danny and Charley set up a roadside stand outside their Connecticut country home, and they try to pass off junk as valuable antiques.
Charley's in the doghouse when he refuses to allow Bunny a chance to perform in his new stage review at the Copacabana
Danny's in trouble with the local tradesmen when they learn they are the brunt of the jokes in his nightclub act
Howard Morris appears as a man who claims he's a leprechaun.
Danny imports a girl from Italy to sing at the Copacabana, but soon discovers she has stopped performing pop music in favor of opera music.