Opening Comments--Roger Abbott Doug Henning As leader of the Natural Law Party, he holds us spellbound Pirates Canada Swindling voters with the truth. Hockey Commentary National Anthem The American National Anthem is sung to a different 'tune'. Ice Beer It's not like those other, sissy, beers... Leader Meter Pick the next Prime Minister by your applause. Mr. Charade Man on the street answers a street interviewer by playing charades. Seamus O'Toole Seamus combines the Bloc Quebecois with the Parti Quebecois and comes up with the Bloc Parti! McCainski's New sponsor Boris Yeltsin speaks about McCainski's Vodka Coolers. Candidates Debate '93 Kim Campbell, Audrey McLaughlin, Jean Chretien, Preston Manning and Lucien Bouchard in a verbal slugfest for the highest public office in Canada.
Videopinion--Kim Campbell Kim Campbell's 1 minute of fame explaining her campaign slogan. Name That Leader! The game show that insults political leaders. Chretien's Hospital Visit Jean Chretien 'demonstrates' what could happen to health care if you don't vote for the Liberal Party. Videopinion--Pro Life A mother, with child, on the sanctity of all human life. Toronto Airport Two representatives attempt to explain why privatizing Toronto's Pearson 1 Airport is really a good deal--for them. Oat Bran & Lobster Resepected actor and commercial spokesperson Wilford Brimley speaks out for Oat Bran and Lobster Cereal. Videopinion--Audrey McLaughlin Audrey tries to dispel the rumours about the NDP. Corky & The Juice Pigs Videopinion--Kissing Judge Toronto's kissing judge defends himself to the public.
Bouchard Wins! Only in Canada... The results of the election night vote are in, and our new prime minister is... Pollster and Bum A pollster conducts the ultimate man on the street election poll. John Kruk--Interview Blue Jays' John Kruk talks about what he does to keep fit. Candidate Dolls CBC Correspondent Joe Schlesinger explains election night with the help of some paper dolls. Pastor Ignacious Quagmire--Election The good pastor has a few thoughts on the upcoming Federal election. Chretien Deodorant Prime Minister wannabe Jean Chretien promotes his new brand of deodorant: Old Guard. Tete a Tete Kim Campbell tries to seduce Preston Manning over to the dark side... Blue Jay Scalpers Two Newfoundlanders in Toronto haggle over the price of some Blue Jays Tickets.
Election Coverage Ann Medina and Don Newman talk to Preston Manning, Lucien Bouchard and Audrey McLaughlin. Jean Make Plans Jean Chretien would rather redecorate 24 Sussex Drive than address his campaign promises. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The honourable member Dave Broadfoot makes his first foray on the television series. Election Comment--Mike Mike, from Canmore, gets stage fright trying to discuss the election result. Campbell Aftermath Brian Mulroney attempts to console Kim Campbell after she gets kicked out of office.
Chretien Sworn In New Prime Minister Jean Chretien is sworn in at ""de Gooverner General's hangout."" Glass Masters Ray Bonisteel promises those glasses ""in about a MINUTE!"" New TV Shows TV executives get hysterical over new non-violent shows. Campbell at UIC Ex-Prime Minister Kim Campbell applies for, and is denied, UIC. Canada's Most Pensioned In the fine tradition of ""Amercia's Most Wanted"", Air Farce takes a look at Canadian Politicians' pensions. Sunday Edition with Tiny Mike Sunday (brunch) Edition with Tiny Mike and Lucien Bouchard. Jock McBile Jock vents over Chretien's cabinet, Doug Gilmour fighting and Kim Campbell's Russian boyfriend.
Queen's Speech ""Liz"" comments on the photo of Di in the Health Club. Yassar Arafat Before he started using disposable razors, everyone mistook him for Ringo Starr. Prime Time News Tonight: Trudeau's Memoirs. Street Weasel Leon kicks out a client who doesn't have enough money. Copps Talks Jean Chretien introduces his Deputy Prime Minister, Sheila Copps. Haiti Patrol The Canadian Navy hakcs into the Haitian Communication Network for a very important transmission. Prime Time News Update Update on Trudeau Book watch. Videopinion--Liberals Man on the street is upset that after two weeks in office the Liberals have done nothing. Orville & Gary's Trouser Pop Popcorn you can make in your pants. Videopinion--Kim Campbell Woman on the street suggests Kim run again as Canadians are fond of losers. BBC World News Due to budget cuts, CBC is proud to present the BBC. Prime Time News Update Trudeau Book watch, part deux.
Chretien, Copps & Clinton Jean and Sheila take a trip, by helicopter, to visit President Clinton. Referee's Strike Replacement ref speaks out on the 'hard times' of refereeing. Sheila Shelley's Showbiz Sheila gets the scoop on Michael Jackson, Peter Mansbridge, CBC cutbacks and Kim Campbell. Ice Beer Ice Beer, the next generation. Venture Robert Scully talks to (at) Herb Gray about money and the price of a suit. Brimley--Logos Wilford Brimley wants networks to stop displaying those annoying logos because ""it's the right thing to do"". New MP's meet Two new MP's on the hill meet, and in the process realize they have a lot in common--except their political party. What is Canada? A traveller describes his country, Canada, to a customs official with ""O Canada"" playing in the background. Videopinion--Crazy Joe Crazy Joe has just the thing Jean Chretien needs for his new home at 24 Sussex Drive.
Robo Copps Robo Copps comes to the aid of the Liberal Party Dr Stubbs--Basketball Player Dr Stubbs, famous appendage elongator, works his magic on a basketball player. Michael at Customs Michael Jackson tries to moonwalk his way past Canada Customs. Outsiders Report Dave, the grocery guy, presents his latest line of products (including ""I feel like Haggis tonight"") Translation News Translation News for the Fast of Hearing... Member for Kicking Horse Pass The honourable member Grey Cup Winnipeg Blue Bombers fan and an American watch the game at a bar.
Love Lucien Ooooh Lucien, you've got some s'plainin' to do! Herb Gray and Closet Elvis Mug A Soup - Mama's Boy Paul Martin Explains Books Paul Martin explains how to reduce the deficit. Henderson Bedpans Henderson, the name to think of when buying a bedpan. You Got That Right Air Farce's first trip to the doughnut shop! Ken and Barbie The two most famous dolls are having problems with their relationship. Jock McBile
Yeltsin Loves K.D. Lang Boozy Boris cares only about love, not war. Mr. Manning's Neighbourhood And what a lovely--white--neighbourhood it is. Mug A Soup - Brimley In depth soup analysis with a real momma's boy. Scrotal Write-Off The ultimate manhood remover. Videopinion--Immigrant An immigrant knows what's wrong with immigration, these lax immigration laws! Military Man The Good Sex Guide A panel discussion about sex. Cell Phone Couple A couple in a restaurant has trouble communicating the old fashioned way.
Memories of '93--Kim Campbell Robo Copps Dr. Stubbs Newman/Charest Hoople & Sternbrotten Williams Sports Wrap Memories of '93--Bouchard and McLaughlin Mike Duffy and Tiny Mike Venture--McCain Bros. Memories of '93--Yeltsin Consumer Watch--Wrapper Snapper Member for Kicking Horse Pass Trudeau Doughnut Trudeau Interview '94 Blues
Chretien's Hospital Visit (#1-02, October 15, 1993) National Anthem (#1-01, October 8, 1993) Brimley--Logos (#1-07, November 19, 1993) Queen's Speech (#1-06, November 12, 1993) Bouchard Wins (#1-03, October 22, 1993) Herb Gray and Closet Elvis (#1-09, December 3, 1993) Haiti Patrol (#1-06, November 12, 1993) Dr. Stubbs--Basketball Player (#1-08, November 26, 1993) Videopinion--Pro Life (#1-02, October 15, 1993) Pirates Canada (#1-01, October 8, 1993) Trudeau Book Update #3 (#1-06, November 12, 1993)
Earthquake Damage Control L.A. Tourism board calms public fears about severity of quake. Parliament Opens Pamela Wallin covers the opening of Parliament and speaks to Lucien Bouchard, Herb Gray and Jean Chretien. Home Remedies Book Wacky household solutions to common problems. Pirate's Speech The member from Pirates Canada gives a speech in Parliament. Loreena Bobbitt Loreena Bobbitt demonstrates her new Ginsu knife. Street Medical CBC cancels Street Legal in favour of a new, different drama series. Frozen Weatherman Jerry Bisby gives his report from outside where it's freezing. Fax Manning Preston Manning wants to air the average Canadian's beef in Parliament, with the help of a fax machine.
Anik Breakdown Rita Jones on Newsworld is interrupted by other channels as the Anik satellite begins breaking down. Bosnia Peacekeepers Canadian Peacekeepers in Bosnia just want to go home. The Rival Whacker Tonya Harding's ex-boyfriend has a new product to eliminate your rivals. Jock McBile Jock talks sports. Man's World--Arafat Buck McSweeny and Yassar Arafat discuss synchronized swimming. Sheila Shelley Gossip about ""Bouchard's List"", the Beatles reuniting, Madonna opens ""Pizza Slut"". Closet Elvis, Herb and Paul Martin Herb Gray gets some financial advice from Closet Elvis. Trudeau Memoirs Pierre Trudeau canoes through Canada, promoting his memoirs.
Confessional Paul Martin clamps down on smuggled cigarettes. New Prime Time News Prime Time News has undergone some set and format changes. Phony MP A new member of Parliament has had 114 misunderstandings. Air Canada Air Canada vs. Canadian Airlines. Copps Upstaged Sheila Copps deals with a backbencher. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The member comments on two hot dishes--NAFTA and Mexico. Canadian Moment ""Cold enough for ya?"" Lillehammer Preview An Olympic Preview...
Olympic Committee After careful consideration, a battered Olympic committee decides that Tonya Harding can indeed compete in Lillehammer. Chretien and Gray Press Conference Jean Chretien and Herb Gray discuss cigarette smuggling. Tonya Harding--TSN Theresa Hergert for TSN interviews Tonya Harding in lilehammer. Jock McBile Jock talks about dictatorships, like Bosnia and Roger's Cable. Ferry Boat Dock Catching the ferry can be dangerous. Midday--Violence in Schools Teachers dealing with society's most violent crminals, the students. Mr. Diaper Don't get caught with your pants down again! Videopinion--Valentines Day A young woman has a problem with the commercialism of Valentines Day until someone sends her flowers. Laff Happy News Top news stories: man invents water purifier, automatic macrame machine and plastic surgeon goes crazy with liposuction machine. Manning ""Strangelove"" Tax Revolt Preston rides the Reform ""Tax Revolt"" Rocket.
CTV Olympics Valerie Pringle and Rod Black in Lillehammer cover the games and interview ladies man Alberto Tompa. Devil Talk The devil is really overworked by all the evil around these days. Woman Bishop A female bishop meets her fellow clergy. Norton Union Life Insurance It's Patrick! And he's taken out life insurance! Revenue Rat Fink Help the economy by snitching on the cheats. Olympic Moment And now for Team Canada, on the two man luge... Street Legal The real cast from Street Legal give their final performance on Air Farce. Jock McBile Jock talks about our new Prime Minister, Jean Chretien.
Olympic Moment Bobsled fans from around the world come to witness this moment... Budget '94 Paul Martin uses Herb Gray to demonstrate some of the cuts in the budget. Figure Skating Bikers Two thugs talk about their love of figure skating. Jag Bhaduria The new president of the hair club for men speaks. Olympic Moment Out of shape speed skater goes for gold. CRTC--New Channels CRTC rep goes over the new channel applications. Svend Robinson Svend Robinson discusses suicide assistance service, ""Svend-enders"" Ollie the Ostrich Interview with bandaged Olympic non-winner.
A Canadian Moment The donut shop gang discusses the Olympic hockey team, Alan Eagleson's indictment and other things. Bouchard Visits UN Lucien Bouchard and UN Official discuss Boutros Boutros Ghali's ""Gala"" and Quebec separation. Military Explains Cutbacks The very first appearance of the Air Farce chicken cannon. Cocaine Bust Mongo the biker reports on cocaine bust in Nova Scotia. Parliament Prayer A new politically/religiously correct prayer for the House of Commons. Curling Marriage Breakup A marriage is ""on the rocks"". Videopinion--Olympic Wrap Up A critique of hockey, Tonya Harding, leotards and men's skating.
Yassar Arafat--Time Share Yassar Arafat offers time sharing in occupied territory, complete with line dancers. Club For TVs Hey ladies! No more 24 hour sports channel with this handy device. Canadian Moment The doughnut gang discuss Roger's Cable takeover, NSF and other things. Sliding Curler A curler with a vacuum up his sleeve. Clayoquot Protester #1 A visit by a tree hugger. Fax Manning Your golden opportunity to have your questions answered in Parliament. Brian Tobin's Cod Film The lonely cod tries to convince a female member to help him replenish the depleted stocks. Phantom of the Opera The joys of living with the Phantom of the Opera. Clayoquot Protester #3 Night falls.
Governor General's Aircraft Learning how to land a plane in French. Kosher's Korner--Doug Gilmour Toronto Maple Leaf player Doug Gilmour guests on Koshers Korner both with and without his teeth! Mesley--Native Rights Billy Two Willies joins Wendy Mesley on ""IMPACT"" to discuss native land claims. Leonard Cohen's Album Carstairs Carruthers presents Leonard Cohen's ""Songs for a cold, dark, dreary night"". Sex With Sue Sue talks sex with an expert. Spitting Hockey Players Hockey players worried about the economy (Guest starring Doug Gilmour). Chicken Cannon Fired by Doug Gilmour, ""He shoots, he scores!"" at the Detroit Red Wings.
Sheila Shelley Sheila takes a stab at the latest news and entertainment stories and Neil Young songs. Canadian Moment Manic Depressive News A manic and a depressive read the news. Martin/Chretien--GST Jean Chretien and Paul Martin discuss the GST. Jock McBile Really Amazing Discoveries Inventor Margo Lamont discovers the Juicemeister. Tax Audit Never try to seduce your auditor...
Jimmy and Seamus Cod Watching and Conception Bay Loch Ness Monster Tour. H&R Grunt A tax accountant grunts through a consultation with one of his clients. Member for Kicking Horse Pass The member looks at everything from bigotry to dentistry. Venture--Ted Rogers Robert Scully interviews Ted Rogers about his Maclean-Hunter Takeover. PTN Promo Peter Mansbridge and Pamela Wallin assess their own popularity. Professor Aphazard--Brain Aphazard takes us through the human brain. Preston's Rules Preston Manning sets down rules for MP's and gets caught in an ""uncompromising"" position. Restaurant Menu The language police are alive in an English pub in Quebec.
Olympic Moment--Two Man Luge (# 3-15, February 16, 1994) Woman Bishop (# 3-15, February 16, 1994) Club for TVs (# 3-18, March 11, 1994) Spitting Hockey Players (#3-19, March 18, 1994) Curling Marriage Breakup (# 3-17, March 4, 1994) Confessional (# 3-13, February 4, 1994) Military Explains Cutbacks (# 3-17, March 4, 1994)
O.J. Clue New, from Parkers Brothers! Herb Gray--CSIS Mr. Excitment discusses CSIS while being robbed. Betteman Hockey NHL Commissioner Gary Betteman talks about the hockey negotiations. Mall Mart The employees attempt to explain how Canadian they are. Wallin/Parizeau News anchor Pamela Wallin interviews Quebec Premier Jacques Parizeau. Ottawa Private Eye A private dick visits Ottawa and realizes that he's not the first 'dick' to arrive here. The Pope The Pope tries to modernize his image. Canadian Moment Sweatin' To The Top Stories Richard Simmons exercises to the top news events.
Cult Pitch The ""Institute for Religious Fanatics"" leader preaches about the benefits of joining a cult. Sandi and Saddam Sandi Rinaldo interviews Saddam Hussein about the Kuwait invasion. Canadian Moment Sheila Shelley The gossip queen rants about the Madonna stamp, sex surveys, Der Nudie boys, dinosaurs and the Blue Jays exercise tape. Koshers Korner Royal Sentry A Royal Sentry has a royal problem on his hands. Prairie Movie Ban Two farmers talk about all the movies that disgust them that they'd like to see banned. Preston Manning Town Hall Meeting Reform party leader Preston Manning tries to hold a televised forum that turns into a bad home shopping show.
Bouchard Debates Clark Bloc quebecois leader Lucien Bouchard and former cabinet minister Joe Clark debate national unity. Photo Radar A couple get even with the new photo radar system using a camera. Prince Charles Confesses Charles admits he never loved Diana, and more. Mr. Taxpayer Sportsless Network Two sportscasters attempt to fill half an hour with no sports news. Atwood Commercial Having trouble sleeping? Try a new natural sleep aid... Aphazard Dinosaurs Lessons on dinosaurs with a 90's twist: Don Cherry, Sharon Stone, Barney. Tiny Mike and Paul Martin Tiny Mike discusses Paul Martin's changes to Canada's taxes and their effect on food. Aristide Takes Office A mountie mocks the Haitian leader as he compliments Canada. Supreme Court Ruling A woman on the street reacts to a recent Supreme Court ruling that drunkenness is a defense of rape.
Queen Speaks Out Queen Elizabeth chronicles her family's history in her new book, ""Hot, Horny and Inbred"". Manning Hallowe'en Preston Manning receives some trick or treaters into his home. Pirates Canada Three Tenors The three tenors--Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and the other guy--sing their favourite songs. Where Are They Now? John Crosby, Kim Campbell and Joe Clark discuss what they miss most about being in power. Brian Mulroney pops in at the end. Rita MacNeil and Closet Elvis Herb Gray gets some advice from Closet Elvis and the real Rita MacNeil. Chretien on PTN Pamela Wallin interviews the Prime Minister and gets some surprising answers. Hockey Withdrawal A woman attempts to bring her husband out of a comatose state brought on by the hockey strike.
Marchi Announcement Immigration Minister Sergio Marchi explains his new immigration plan. Chretien--China Canadian moment The doughnut shop gang discusses gun control, Mulroney and the deficit. President Clinton Address The President speaks out on armed aggression while dodging gunfire. High Speed Commentary A signing translator has trouble keeping up with the ""News For The Fast Of Hearing"" commentator. Videopinion--Clamp Gun Shop A gun shop owner is robbed four times. Well Dressed Fireman Before taking a fire alarm call, a fireman wants to avoid any fashion faux pas'. CBC Studio Tour CBC executive Delbert Phipps proves that the CBC is a cost efficient organization.
War Veteran Poppy Seller A poppy seller makes his customers feel very guilty. Canadian Moment The group discusses Chretien in China, Alzheimers and the Immigration & Refugee board. Special Bulletin--Copps Sheila Copps becomes mad with power while Chretien is in China. Muscle Pigs Non-viloent pigs fight crime and replace ""power rangers"". Parizeau Address Quebec Premier Jacques Parizeau tries to come up with a date for the Referendum. NHL Saturday Night The top ten things that players want are discussed. Member For Kicking Horse Pass The honourable member examines diced carrots, gun control and O.J. Simpson on television. Stumpy Tom Conway One legged Stumpy sings his song, ""I'm moving to the USA""
Eagleson Hearing Alan Eagleson greets the investigating panel with some presents. Washroom Ladder Rental An entrepreneurial Canadian rents ladders in a men's washroom. China Visitor Recovers A hung over Chretien rants about his political colleague in his hotel room. Tommy A promo for the new musical. Bouchard On Impact Bloc Quebecois Leader Lucien Bouchard consults his good and evil sides. Convict Boy Nobody is better at furniture and appliances, Nooooooobody! Queen's Luncheon Party The Queen's mother has too much to drink at a luncheon where the Queen gives advice to her son Charles. Pope Speech The Pope looks back at some of the historical errors of the past like the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, etc to apologize. Warning Label Cigarettes Customer tries to decide on a pack of cigarettes based on its warning label. Videopinion--Body Piercing An old lady defends the practice of body piercing.
Quintuplets Movie The real story of the Dionne family, when Mrs Dionne delivers 143 babies. Manning Address Leader of the Reform Party Preston Manning discusses the appointment of Romeo LeBlanc. Canadian Vampire Luba is visted by a polite, docile Canadian vampire. Grey Cup Fans Airborne Regiment Commercial A member of the airborne appeals to all dysfunctional violents to join the regiment. Rinaldo Interview Baggley Funeral home director Hector Baggley discusses euthenasia. Car Weasel The ultimate in protection from car thieves. Jock McBile Jock weighns in on the political repression of refugees, the Via Rail flambé, pensions vs gambling and ethnic groups. Sweatin' To The Top Stories Richard Simmons and his plump companions sweat it out over Alan Eagleson, the Grey Cup, NHL lockout, University tuitions, Immigration and refugees and Luncheon meat. Jo Jo's Psychic Alliance Jo Jo comes up against the toughest mind to read, Mike from Can
VIA Safety Demo A safety instruction demonstrates that VIA Rail is not all that safe. Canadian Moment Straight talk on gum/gun control, US vs Canada (assassinate vs re-elect), Chrétien in France, Bruce McNall, Jeffrey Dahlmer and Toronto disaster. Dave The Beer Guy Dave displays his latest products--Mousse Head Beer, Pissed as a Newt Ale, etc. This Day In History French and English explorers arrive in the new world to find Graham Greene waiting for them. Blind Willy Feldman Blind Willy sings the blues because his ""toaster is broke"". Member For Kicking Horse Pass The member looks at the Grey Cup and our knowledge of the U.S. (Dan Quayle, Oklahoma, and Alan Eagleson). Bosnia Hostages Canadian peacekeepers are stuck in Bosnia without food or supplies until Hendrix saves the day--with a Christmas tree.
Chretien Travel Chretien lets loose at ""Club Fed"". PTN Bacteria Pamela Wallin interviews a bacterium. Politically Correct Christmas The story from the ages with a new, politically-correct, twist. News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole The two Newfoundlanders talk about Parizeau, Bosnia, increased interest rates, oil at Windsor castle and the Cod stocks. Red Green Christmas Shopping Red Green shows you how to make your own Christmas angel. Siskel & Ebert Season's Greeting--Sheila Copps Sheila Copps belts out a moving rendition of ""Silent Night"".
O.J. Clue (#2-01, October 7, 1994) High Speed Commentary (#2-05, November 4, 1994) Three Tenors (#2-04, October 28, 1994) Atwood Commercial (#2-03, October 21, 1994) Queen Speaks Out (#2-04, October 28, 1994) Cult Pitch (#2-02, October 14, 1994) Interview With A Canadian Vampire (#2-08, November 25, 1994) Photo Radar (#2-03, October 21, 1994) Dionne Quintuplets (#2-08, November 25, 1994) Washroom Ladder Rental (#2-07, November 18, 1994)
Betteman ""Hackey"" negotiator Bettman is interviewed by Michael Landesberg about the end of the hockey lockout. Canadian Moment Around the doughnut table: Christmas, turkeys on steroids, old age security, native taxes, Lucien Bouchard's return, the new politically correct bible and anal retentives. Mister Rogers' Cablehood This week on Mister Rogers' Cablehood, special guest Keith ""Mr. CRTC"" Spicer explains cable monopolies. Wendy Mesley Cable TV Report Pirate John, president of Jolly Roger's cable, is interviewed while guest commentator Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me discusses the latest offering of specialty channels. Chechnya Yeltsin discovers that Chechnya wants to separate. NHL Player Roomie Piano barfly sings about his old love.
Dave Hodge Inside Sports Chretien visits South America PTN - Airborne Ralph Klein Fireside Chat Confidential News Network Manning and By Election Candidate Jock McBile
Newsworld O.J. Report Suit analyst Nick Cadalina assesses the wardrobe of the OJ trial. Chretien's Postcard From Argentina Prime Minister Chretien talks trade and meets Juan Valdez. Military Merchandising The military's latest attempt to generate revenue (features the Chicken Cannon). Canadian Moment The gang discuss lotteries, the superbowl, Guy Paul Morin and DNA and Parizeau in Paris. RSP Commercial Newfoundland Lighthouse Ottawa wants to automate the lighthouse keepers. Chretien's Postcard From Chile Jean meets a low key Chilean vice-president.
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole 'De bhoys' discuss Parliament tunnels, the OJ trial, the Brady Bunch and licensing fees for using the RCMP image. Groundhog Day Groundhog Kitchener Karen talks about her shadow. Political Rich Couple Bermuda residents Humphrey and Vanessa insist they have a fidelity to Canada (from abroad). Prime Time News Peter Mansbridge and Wendy Mesley, in a contest of literal one-up(wo)manship. Jock McBile Rita and Friends Rita sings about the ""working man from the east coast"" who ""likes his eggs with juice and toast."" She's joined by special guest Luciano Pavarotti. Member For Kicking Horse Pass
Chretien, Clinton & Yeltsin Three leaders, in silhouette, discuss the differences in their countries. Sally Struthers--Jobs Tiny Mike--Parliament Resumes Tiny Mike chats with Sheila Copps, Herb Gray and Paul Martin. Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me demonstrates how confusing cable channels are becoming. Canadian Moment The gan discuss tax breaks, military cutbacks and sovereignty. Inept Carpenter A one armed carpenter tries to nail two pieces of wood together. Trans Canada Debt A majestic look at Canada's debt. Big Bum Mountie A clumsy overweight Mountie is untouchable, literally. Lottery Line-Up Some people in an unemployment lineup are preoccupied with the lottery.
Manning--National Tax Alert Preston Manning does his best Robert DeNiro--'You taxin' me?' CTV News--Blind Willy Feldman Blind Willy sings the blues with news anchor Sandi Rinaldo. Siskel & Ebert--Academy Awards Siskel & Ebert take a look at some Academy picks--Forrest Gump, Quiz Show, Nell and a foreign italian film. Collenette/Airborne Video Minister of Defense David Collenette opens a video store featuring the military's greatest hazing hits. Nursery Books Censored Sandra Finsterwald hosts a children's show about books seized at the border. Kosher's Korner--Brian Williams Special Guest Brian Williams uses a telestrator to illustrate OJ Simpson's strategy using football terms. Videopinion--Stage Fright A man on the street is steamed about something until the camera starts rolling.
Clinton Visits Chretien US President Bill Clinton and wife Hillary visit Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien for an afternoon jog around Ottawa. RSP Commercial 2 Bouchard Returns Hana Gartner interviews Bloc Quebecois Lucien Bouchard after his return to public life. Venture--Credit Rating Bank President Gord Thiessen and host Robert Scully chat about Canada's financial situation. Susan Powter & Tony Little Jock McBile--Deficit Jock shows us how we got to our present debt-lemma from former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau to Brian Mulroney. Preston Woos Elsie Preston Manning tries to woo Conservative MP Elsie Wayne into joining the Reform Party.
Budget '95 Finance Minister Paul Martin talks about his latest federal budget. CBC Budget Cuts Announcement CBC Executive in Charge of Something announces the latest round of budget cuts. CNN-Ken From Hairworld Bobbie DiBatista and Ken assess hairstyles at the OJ Simpson trial. Canadian Moment On the table: Budget 1995, Air Travel agreement, President of CBC steps down. Nunziata Rewrite Liberal non-cabinet minister (but he's not bitter) John Nunziata looks at the retiring pensions of former MP's. Parizeau Sovereignty Hearings Average Quebecers speak their minds on separation, whether Jacques likes it or not. The Loony Channel Gender Bias Theatre Man and woman meet on park bench and talk about the sexes in this latest instalment.
Sweatin' To The Top Stories Richard Simmons shakes his booty to the following tunes: Sheila Copps--Story Time Storyteller Sheila Copps reads a children's book entitled ""The Liberals little red book of lies"". Amazing Discoveries--2000 Flushes 2000 Flushes inventor Al Eisen displays his tasteless wares on Mike Levy's ""Amazing Discoveries"". Ottawa Private Eye Member For Kicking Horse Pass Memory Lapse Talk Show Host Carson Dial has a few guests whose names he can't seem to remember who are there to talk about.... something. Mr. Grimble A man tries to call 911 with a bottle stuck on his finger and comes up against the dreaded voice messaging service. The Canadian Way
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Current events discussed include Turbot, Mike Harcourt and the new upcoming $2 coin. Stan's Long Distance Co. Tired of paying those monopolies through the nose? Try Stan's Long Distance! Chretien's Corner Mr. ""fer sure on dat"" talks tough with Ron Maclean. Manning--Postcard Mr. Manning goes to Washington. PTN--Tobin Patrol Pamela Wallin interviews Brian Tobin in a trawler as he prepares to deal with Spanish overfishing in Canadian waters. Stumpy Tom Sings Again Stumpy Tom is ""inbred and worry free.... just like the Royal family"". Church Of The Holy Pistol The good reverend thinks that true believers should pack a pistol. Headache Sufferers Headache suffers group meet to find some relief from the noisy world.
Canadians In Spain An isolated Canadian couple return from a long trip and stop by in a Spanish restaurant, unawares of the current tension between Canada and Spain. CNN Headline News--2025 Ongoing coverage of the OJ Simpson trial. Canadian Moment For the last time this season, the gang gathers to talk about the rail system, Michael Jordan, Silken Laumann and the Queen in South Africa. House Of Commons Awards Hosts Sheila Copps and Herb Gray present golden doughnut awards to outstanding MPs in Parliament. Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me--Academy Awards Gilbert tries to come up with some deserving nominees, but just can't seem to find any. And It Was Good A holy man preaches about St. Jean of Chretien from atop a mountain. Spanish Fishing Chicken Cannon The chicken cannon takes aim at some Spanish fishing trawlers. (bowling for trawlers)
Parizeau State Of Province Address (#2-, , 1995) Sally Struthers--Jobs (#2-15, February 10, 1995) Siskel & Ebert--Academy Awards (#2-16, February 17, 1995) Mister Rogers' Cablehood (#2-11, January 13, 1995) PTN--Bacteria (#2-, , 1995) Newfoundland Lighthouse (#2-13, January 27, 1995) Political Rich Couple (#2-14, February 3, 1995)
CNN--Ken From Hairworld (#2-02, , 1995) Jock McBile--The Deficit (#2-07, , 1995) Car Weasel (#2-06, , 1995) Ottawa Private Eye (#2-07, , 1995) RSP Commercial (#2-13, January 27, 1995) Blind Willy Feldman (#2-16, February 17, 1995)
Dave the O.J. Souvenir Guy Dave slashes prices on all his merchandise: Ready to wear Mark Fuhrman white sheets, O.J. Cutlery, and Paula Barbieri wedding dress. Referendum Point of View Jacques Parizeau says yes, Jean Chretien says no, and an average Quebecer says maybe because they are so used to having it both ways. Canadian Moment Topics: Paul Bernardo, O.J. on Murder She Wrote, new 45 stamp, delinquent dads, Pope in New York, NDP Convention and explaining the Quebec situation with the help of a coffee and doughnut. Lucien Briefing A briefing from an aide leaves Lucien Bouchard so mad he has to put his foot down! Klutzes Hotline It will leave you head over heels in love. Looney News The nightly looney report. Canoeing Beer Ad Coureurs de bois paddle boat and peddle beer. Chicken Cannon The target du jour: Pork and beans with a side order of cat food served up to Ontario Premier Mike Harris.
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Lucien Bouchard wishes more Quebec women said ""yes""; Montreal Canadiens management shuffle; Canadian Sex Survey; Ivana Trump visits Moncton while Kim Young Sam visits Canada; Ottawa Rough Rider fraud and Toronto man's roomate is eaten by dog. Canadian $2 Coin You'll want to call the New Canadian Coin the ""barely"" because it's barely worth two bucks! McDonough In Corridor Alexa McDonough has everything it takes to be leader of the NDP: she's already an unknown! Message From The Premier Croonin' to the cutbacks with Ontario Premier Mike ""The Knife"" Harris. Canada AM Early morning television for people who are still asleep. Referendum Prophecies A Prophet on the Mount sermon that focusses on the Referendum, and all those associated with it. Mountie Home Shopping Club Michael Eisner has a new spokesperson for all the Disney merchandise. Chicken Cannon Today's special: lobster, poutine, and some split pea soup, served up on a J
""OUI"" Wins! Royal Canadian Air Farce is first on the scene with exclusive Referendum results, of the biggest question to come out of Quebec since the announcement of the Montreal Canadiens new head coach. Complete referendum coverage in half an hour or it's free!
Royal Call After phoning the Queen, Jacques Parizeau discovers his fingers can do more than just the walking. Bat Manning Forever Preston gets tough, and cheap! Rex's Charts Rex Murphy's graphic referendum rigmarole. Leading Tableaus Bill Clinton, Jean Chretien and Boris Yeltsin speak their minds. Pamela Wallin Live Lucien Bouchard cries the post referendum blues with his intellectual equal Mike from Canmore. Stand-Up Guest comedian Lorne Elliot give an anglo-Quebecer's slant on the referendum. Kosher's Korner--Raptor The world's shortest free-standing basketball player is a guest on Kosher's Korner. Jock McBile Jock's referendum wrap-up.
Sussex Intruder A night-time intruder scares the ""poo-poo-larity"" out of Jean and Aline Chretien. Talk Show Line-Up All your favourite tv talk show hosts are called to order. Parliamentary Remembrance A moment of silence can seem to be an eternity in a ""rememberable"" way. Young Offenders World The new show where kids learns their A, B, C's: Arson, Burglary and Corruption. (SPECIAL GUEST: Mr. Dressup) Prof. Aphazard Professor Llewelyn Aphazard reveals the latest in ""patches"" since the nicotine patch Head On The talk show for hot heads with your host, Howard Head. Today's guest: Sheila Copps. Death Watch Boris Yeltsin: going, going, not gone! Chicken Cannon Guest gunner: Mr. Dressup (Ernie Coombs). Target: Everyone's favourite purple flea bag, Barney the Dinosaur Videopinion ""For Canadians Who Give A Buck"". A Smoker literally foams at the mouth to make his point.
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Mike Harcourt quits; Bouchard goes provincial; Canadian Spies; Karla's parole; fish license increase; Izzy Asper buys WIC; Olestra; Macleans Magazine turns 19; Di's going to tell all. Mike, From Earth... Mike boldly goes where no man has gone before--the beer store-- then fixes the Canadarm. Trudeau on Impact! Wendy Mesley interviews Pierre Trudeau about his new book ""The Canadian Way"". Canadian Moment U.S. Government bankrupt; bike helmet law; heath care system; broccoli fights breast cancer; immigration quotas; overdue library books in Montreal; mink ranch break-in; Manning/Charest at same fund-raiser; Chretien criticizes CBC over referendum coverage then leaves for Japan. Member for Kicking Horse Pass Dave Broadfoot looks into the future 50 years. Grey Cup Grey Cup weekend in Regina: Fun, Football and Frostbite! Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me Gilbert has a V-Chip on his shoulder.
Royal Rebuttal, Part 1 The royals rebut the Princess Di-atribe. ""Separatist Careers"" Lucien Bouchard introduces his new board game. Larry King Live Special Guest Yoko Ono sings ""undiscovered"" Beatles songs. Jock McBile Jock takes a closer look at the relationships between the players in the Airbus conference. Mulroney Airbus News Conference Former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney denies all allegations. Bingo Parlour Commentary New headlines go up in smoke! Royal Rebuttal, Part 2 The royals rebut the Princess Di-atribe. Herb Gray and Closet Elvis Herb and Elvis introduce new security procedures for 24 Sussex Drive. Royal Rebuttal, Part 3 The royals rebut the Princess Di-atribe. Christian Athletes Three Christian Athletes pray to their saviour: booze, drugs and the wild life. Royal Rebuttal, Part 4 The royals rebut the Princess Di-atribe.
Diana 2020 Princess Diana, 25 years and 50 pounds in the future. That Old Time Refooooorm Preston Manning cruises into Stornoway and does the Risky Business of Reform 'n Roll! CP Spike CP Rail drives the last spike into their Montreal headquarters. CBC, The Sequel Perrin Beatty surfs the new, leaner CBC schedule. The National Cutback Peter Mansbridge and Hana Gartner learn to cope with cutbacks to The National and The National Magazine. Gun Control A gun activist shoots his mouth off against the government's new gun control legislation. Chicken Cannon The Brian Mulroney Casserole: Sour Grapes, freshly skimmed cream, chili (that will give you a kickback) and some festive marshmallows.
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Topics: New Canadian Coat of Arms; bulldozing Paul Bernado's bungalow; Premier Mike Harris cuts to healthcare and education; CP Rail and Patrick Roy both head west; Silken Laumman has a street named after her; TSN shocks its viewers; Rat sex in space; an underwater interview with a studly cod. Lucien and Audrey Lucien Bouchard must deal with a restless wife. Camtel Omega The dangers of a car phone. Dave Broadfoot Memories of a child's Christmas in Hogtown. ""Where's My Pogey?"" Lloyd Axworthy's new game show! Jock McBile Jock talks taxes, hockey, and anti-fur activists Leonard Cohen's Christmas Album Leonard Cohen's manic depressive sing-a-long Christmasalbum.
Canadian Moment The Donut Shop regulars year end review, with coffee refills courtesy of Progressive Conservative leader Jean Charest. Beavertone News Update # 1 Tainted Blood results Siskel & Ebert A look back at the movies of 1995: Apollo 13, Pope Fiction, Tortellini E Mozzarella Prima Vera and Father of the Bribe. 1995 Quickie Review Boris Yeltsin's Chechnya headache. Pirates Canada A year end message from the leader of the party. Pamela Wallin Live Lucien Bouchard sees double on Pamela Wallin live--with special guest the real Pamela Wallin. Ottawa Private Eye An Ottawa private dick goes public with his views on 1995. 1995 Quickie Review CNN reporter Bobbie Dibattista's O.J. update. Beavertone News Update # 2 Ottawa privatizes Canada's air traffic control system. Preston Manning The real Preston Manning is a guest on the program ""I Love That Word Ref-o-o-or-r-rm."" Red Green Calendar Possum Lodge's Red Green (a.k.a. Steve Smith), demonstrates how to make
Message From The Premier (#3-02, October 20, 1995) Bingo Parlour Commentary (#3-07, November 24, 1995) Mike, From Earth... (#3-06, November 17, 1995) Royal Rebuttal--Queen (#3-07, November 24, 1995) Royal Rebuttal--Queen Mum (#3-07, November 24, 1995) Cutback National (#3-08, December 1, 1995) Jock McBile (#3-07, November 24, 1995) Canoeing Beer Ad (#3-01, October 13, 1995) Klutzes Hotline (#3-01, October 13, 1995)
Bingo Parlour Commentary Bingo patron discusses the news of the week. Stories include: the Duchess of York's financial woes, O.J. Simpson's new video tape, Michael and Lisa-Marie breaking up and Brian Tobin's new job as Newfoundland Premier. Bibby & Bibby The law firm of Bibby & Bibby help subway passengers ride the red rocket to easy street Airport Immigration Nothing gets by an airport immigration officer Chretien's Genie Jean Chretien returns from India with a magic Genie and goes ape. Russian All-Star A Russian hockey players wants to show that Doug Gilmour is nothing compared to his own marketable value. Queen's Rebuttal The Queen becomes a bit 'crotchety' over the latest scandal involving her husband, Prince Philip. Clinton's Financial Woes President Clinton discovers he's financially impotent. P.J. Nosliw Internet Computer wiz P.J. Nosliw surfs the net
Brian Tobin Brian Tobin gets sworn at and sworn in as the new Premier of Newfoundland Canadian Moment Donut shop regulars for fluorescent over NHL All-Star pucks. Also discussed: Jean Chretien's cabinet shuffle, Yassar Arafat, ""Chloro-Fluoro-Carbons"", and a comment on the O.J. Simpson phenomenon CTV News Lloyd Robertson's interview with a war torn couple hits close to home. Bouchard's Pension Lucien Bouchard achieves separation between himself and his pension 1-900-WEA-THER Calling Environment Canada's new 1-900 number will have more than just your temperature rising The Macintoshes A Scottish lad from the McIntosh clan discovers the wife he has choosen is 'incompatible' Customs Book Censor A customs officers tries to censor a book store owner's books Chicken Cannon Colonel Stacy takes aim at The Cheese Guy
News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Jimmy and Seamus celebrate their two favourite rodents, Wiarton Willy and Brian Mulroney. Professor Aphazard The Professor explains the aging process to baby boomers. Veronika's RRSP's Veronika, She-Wolf of the RRSP, gives out her investment tips. Les Green Acres Lucien and Audrey Bouchard have their eyes set on greener acres, he in Quebec, she in California. Barflys Two guys in a bar talk about shooting the bull. Garbage Terminator Recycling, Air Farce style. Dating Hotline Mike from Canmore finds his perferct match, and she's actually human. He's Not Bitter Jean Chretien's latest shuffle deals John Nunziata the cold shoulder, but he's not bitter.
Star Satellite Stan's Satellite Dish Service, doing to the cable company what they keep doing to you. Martha Stewart The Martha Stewart Nightly News: Crime, Corruption and Crafts. Fishermen Retrain A couple of fishermen learn to catch fish with their new Internet. Steel Town Woman Perrin Beatty's new CBC series: Lights, Camera, Copps! Jock McBile Six feet under and affording it. Chicken Cannon Lucien Bouchard encounters spearation with the help of the Chicken Cannon. Prime Time Magazine Preston Manning tells Hana Gartner why he wants to be Leader of the Opposition.
Flag Day Jean Chretien's Flag Day antics, also known as Hull-a-mania Venture Robert Scully looks at our country's most endangered species: Canada Pensions. CTV News Sandie Rinaldo talks NDP leadership with British Columbia's biggest woody--a douglas fir. Economic Outlook Dr. Scumm takes a look at Canada's economic future. Fifth Estate Quickie Tonight on the fifth estate: laplander dancing. Dave Broadfoot Dave offers his observations on the differences between Canadians and Americans. Canadian Moment The real Sheila Copps visits that Mecca of Canadian Culture, the Doughnut Shop. Politically Correct Minute Politically correct terminology from a politically correct guy.
Bingo Lady The Bingo Lady, in her new scooter, takes aim at the latest headlines. Paul Martin--Taxes Paul Martin, in preparation for his upcoming budget, explains how Canadians aren't really overtaxed. Icebound Husband A woman is worried about her husband when he doesn't return from walking the dog one cold, winter night. Siskel & Ebert--Oscars Gene and Roger, when they're not too busy insulting each other, take a look at their favourite pics for the Oscars. Two Herbs & Closet Elvis Closet Elvis's advisor, the real Herb Gray, Solicitor-General, drops by to give some advice. The Paranoid A paranoid barfly reflects on the Canadian Conspiracy to get him. Canoe Guys--Portage William and Jacques are on portage. Chicken Cannon William and Jacques finally get under the gun.
Manning-Gauthier Preston Manning becomes the Leader of the Opposition. Sally Struthers--Appeal Sally Struthers solicits money for the needy--striking Ontario civil servants. RCMP Detail Two of the RCMP's finest are assigned to a dangerous mission--security detail for the Prime Minister. News From Away With Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole Jimmy and Seamus talk about the move everyone was expecting the Great One to make and Diana's decision to get a divorce. Newsworld Newsworld's Nancy Wilson has an interview go up in smoke. Hussein Saddam Hussein talks about his blood relatives. Jock McBile--Pensions Jock McBile experiences pension tension. Glen Clark Denial The new BC Premier, Glen Clark, throws another scandal on the fire.
Impact--Paul Martin Putting Canada back in the black will be easy for Paul Martin, both he and his latest budget are already in the dark. Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me--Junos Air Farce's resident critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-me hands out his Junos list. McDonald's Baby What's making the baby cry? The Inept Carpenter Roy Earle, the Inept Carpenter, gives a new meaning to the word tool. Canadian Moment The donut shop regulars prove the deficit is just like a jelly donut: no matter how you approach it, it always leave a mess on your hands. Nation's Business--Member for Kicking Horse Pass The Honourable Member, Dave Broadfoot, answers some of his constituents' most pressing questions. Mixed Up Newsworld During a television strike, CBC management personnel try to fill in for their on-air and off-air personalities.
Chretien Returns From Egypt Deputy Prime Minister Sheila Copps fills Jean in on what's been happening in Canada since he left for Egypt. Queen and Queen Mum Interview The Queen and her mother discuss family problems in an interview--the Queen whines, and her mother ""wines"". Billion Dollar Bankers Club A billion dollar banker asks, ""buddy, can you spare a sawbuck?"" CTV News--Yoko and Yassar Yoko Ono joins Yassar Arafat's bed-in for peace. Jock McBile--Americans Jock answers the American critics. Chicken Cannon U.S. Senator Jesse Helms ""gets stuffed"" with some Cuban contraband. Antiques Road Show A bumpy ride for the Antique Road Show. CTV News Update OPSEU Strike A striking civil servant learns his placard is a sign of the times.
Academy Awards--Lucien Bouchard Academy Award vote counting with Lucien Bouchard. Head On with Howard Head Keith Spicer is a guest, talking about the V Chip, and why you need one. Hemorrhoid Commercial Fun with hemorrhoids... News From Away with Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole The lads look at something old, new, borrowed, and blue; Hyakutake comet, the new Molson centre, pictures of Pluto and Sister Bonaventure from Our Lady of Perpetual Expletives. Hockey Mom Hockey's toughest and most violent competitor: the Hockey Mom. Videopinion--Homolka Man on the street takes note of the inquiry into the Homolka plea bargain.. Sedition Bloc Quebecois MP Jean-Marc Jacob learns the meaning of the word sedition. Preston Manning Songbook A musical treasure you'll want to bury.
Nation's Business Don Newman discusses the recent by-elections with Preston Manning and discovers that the Opposition Leader Wannabe is one seat short of a full load. Story Time Uncle Al and Auntie Hilda's story time sounds like real fun. Pope and Mother Teresa The Pope and Mother Teresa sing their favourite song, ""Born To Be Catholic"". Confused Philosopher A confused philosopher asks questions like ""Do firemen have sex after smoking?"" Beavertone News--Bomb Sniffing Dog A bomb sniffing dog discovers his job is a real blast. BBC--Mad Cow Disease Mad cows on the BBC, the British Bovine Channel. Street Guy A street guy says he's not homeless, just between mortgages! Brenda, the Bingo Lady Brenda comments on a number of topics, including a look at Canada's former Prime Minister, Brian Mulroney.
Canadian Moment The Air Farce doughnut shop regulars uncover the first known case of Mad Cheese Disease.. S&M Block Leather, whips and chains can only mean one thing: it's tax time at S&M Block.. Stumpy Tom Conway Stumpy Tom sings his way out of the closet. Red Green Guest star Red Green builds a low cost clock radio. Paul Martin and Sheila Copps Paul Martin and the GST--the Goodbye Sheila Tax. Professor Aphazard Helpful hygiene hints from the professor. Chicken Cannon The chicken cannon goes out with a Royal bang! Clinton and Yeltsin
Martha Stewart News P.M. Security Detail McDonalds Baby Politically Correct Minute Jock McBile - Pensionsaul Martin and Sheila Copps Nation's Business: Preston Manning Macintosh Marriage
News From Away Jimmy and Seamus' news catch of the day includes Salman Rushdie, Ontario teachers, and Mark McGwire Mansbridge News Updates Peter Mansbridge does his news updates from a variety of unique Canadian locations Bank Statement The idea of bank mergers leaves a financial analyst laughing all the way to the bank Clinton Goes Straight The unveiling of the new, monogamous, Bill Clinton 12 Year-old Hunting A father and son bond while hunting Chretien - Pepper Spray Jean Chretien's new product, ""Protestor-Off"" Boris Interviewed Hana Gartner interviews Boris Yeltsin
Andy Scott's Denial Solicitor General Andy Scott gets a few denials off his chest Wendy Report Mike from Canmore helps Wendy Mesley understand the APEC inquiry, Canadian Blood Services, and Bill Clinton's impeachment Donut Visions A miracle takes place at one of Canada's holiest of shrines, a donut shop Annie Get Your Guns The Minister of Justice shoots more than just her mouth off about gun control The Canadian Plumbing Awards Canada's finest get their chance at the Golden Plunger Wallin's Fish Show A submerged Pamela Wallin interviews a bi-coastal salmon Montreal Eaton's Signs A Montreal Eaton's store gets a new shipment of English signs
Arafat and Netanyahu Meet Middle East love connection, Yassar Arafat meets Benjamin Netanyahu Brenda the Bingo Lady Brenda the Bingo Lady's headline hunting bingo lingo Career Advice A university professor has some career advice for the students Parizeau Criticizes Bouchard In response to the upcoming Quebec election, Jacques Parizeau goes from being hot under the collar to wet behind the ears Queen's Comments The Queen wants her face off our falling dollar Bob MacKenzie and Hockey Veteran NHL Report with Bob ""Big Head"" MacKenzie News of 2021 A futuristic look at the news of the year 2021 Videopinion - Pepper Spray The sporting side of Pepper Spray
ESL News English As A Second Language News looks at Jean Chretien's baseball bat comment, Ben Johnson, Augusto Pinochet, Mary Kay Latourneau, the World Series, Clinton Anniversary, CBC Reporter's comments, and Greek Orthodox Priests Labrador Helicopter A Labrador helicopter crew refuses to pick up government officials in distress Beavertone News Beavertone News reports on three separate public appearances by Boris Yeltsin Canada SM Canada SM host Dan Matheson interviews the Bondage Queen from Thornhill Aphazard - New Drug Professor Llewelyn Aphazard takes a hard look at Viagra Larry King Larry King interviews the original space cadet, John Glenn Rich Couple A rich couple discusses their finances Raging Grannies Vancouver's Raging Grannies make the Terrorist Top Ten List Paul Martin Paul Martin's 3.5 billion dollar budget surplus giveaway
Canadian Moment The donut shop regulars sink their teeth into Joe Clark, possible Reform-Conservative coalition, Newspaper takeover, John Glenn, bra-bridge, Mike Piazza, new coat of arms for Toronto, Halloween, abortionist shooting, and the Quebec election. Chretien Disclaimer Reports of American influence have Jean Chretien seeing red, white and blue. Mike Phones Sex Line Mike from Canmore phones a sex line. John Glenn Blastoff A few words from John Glenn as he blasts off into space Conrad Black Conrad Black launches The National post The XL Files Scully and Mulder prove that UFO means Unidentified Food Object on The XL Files The Pope Confesses The Pope goes to confession Chretien/Clinton/Yeltsin Jean Chretien, Bill Clinton, and Boris Yeltsin share their thoughts on different topics CBC Morning - Final Discussion The Asian markets leave CBC Morning's hosts wanting to commit financial hari kari
Chretien Conference Jean Chretien believes APEC stands for 'Always Pepperspray Every Complainer' Cirque de Celine Celine Dion has a shattering singing experience Tom's Bar While at the parliamentary bar, two Canadian Senators knock back the news stories of the week Bouchard Ad Lucien Bouchard makes a down-home campaign commercial Gabereau and Barrett Vicki Gabereau interviews two automated banking machines, and discovers one is Bank of Montreal boss Mathew Barrett Smokers' Commentary Two smokers take their break in the designated gossip area. The two discuss the pending war in Iraq, Joe Clark, New Gingrich, Hell's Angels' home for sale, new wrestler governor, Chretien compared to Mark McGwire, Swedish disco fire, the closing of Ontario schools, and Thomas Jefferson's extramarital experience Sportset Sportsnet's newest host discusses violence with hockey's most erudite goon
New Conservative Leader Newly elected Conservative Party leader Joe Clark demands a recount Martha Stewart News Martha Stewart chats with birthday boy Prince Charles Videopion - Co-ed Scouts Old boys Ernie and Harold share their thoughts on co-ed scouting Quebec Debate '98 The Quebec election debate pits Lucien Bouchard and Jean Charest against moderator, Mike from Canmore Saddam and Bobbie At the Saddam Hussein Golf Classic, UN inspectors putt for show and explode for dough Sadsack Psychiatrist A psychiatrist attempts to help a man who has a dysfunctional family Jock McBile Jock scans the headlines and rants about Jean Chretien in Kuala Lumpur, Doug Flutie, Eaton's new boss, Zippergate, the Reform Party, BC Cigarette Tax, Toronto Police strip searches, Quebec Medicare, and The Grey Cup
Manning - United Alternative Preston Manning and Deborah Grey sing the blues to unite the right Canada A.M. Caffeine enriched Valerie Pringle interviews Switzerland's cough drop crazies Impeachment Inquiry Highlights Kenneth Starr's impeachment hearing is like the Clinton / Lewinsky affair - fast and dirty Chicken Cannon News The Chicken Cannon takes aim at the news of the week. Topics covered include the Quebec election, Saddam Hussein, Margaret Atwood, General Pinochet, Toronto Blue Jay manager's war record, Jack Kervorkian, Paula Jones, Conrad Black, Virgin Mary sighting in pizza billboard Cafe Monologue Coffee and commentary about a figure skater's relationship that has hit thin ice Wallin & Andy Scott The Andy Scott Story - loose lips sink dips Woman Taunts Blind Date There's more to meet the eye when a woman goes on a blind date Investing Priests Investment advice from a couple of priests
Bouchard Press Conference Lucien Bouchard introduces his Minister of Winning Conditions, Bonhomme Referendum Holiday Church Donation While in church, a man digs deep into his pocket when the collecton plate arrives Shopping Channel - Xmas Gifts The Home Shopping Channel offers popular Christmas gift ideas from 2,000 Flushes inventor, Al Eisen DaVinci's Inquest CBC's newest crime drama, 'Leonardo DaVinci's Inquest' Canadian Moment The donut shop dunkers discuss Furby, E.I. premiums, Monica Lewinsky, Albert Bell, Dennis Rodman, The Love Boat, New Brunswick mental health laws Old Man Without Christmas Trees An old man has a unique way of getting a Christmas tree for free Gun Registry Spokesmen Two hunters target Canada's new gun registration law Man in Bar A bar patron has some sobering thoughts about the week's news
News From Away Jimmy and Seamus O'Toole look back and laugh at the top stories making the news in 1998. Included on their humour hit list are a Canadian Couple returning from a Brazilian Jail, Saddam Hussein getting bombed, Operation Desert Fox, Asian Financial Crisis, plywood police, the Quebec election, Dorothy Joudrie, and a woman who gives birth over the internet. Martha Stewart and Bill Clinton Bill Clinton is treated to a Martha Stewart dipped cigar Mike's Holiday Thought Mike from Canmore demonstrates the only way to have a turkey for dinner Joe Clark and Jean Chretien Special guest Joe Clark discusses politics with Jean Chretien CTV News with Lloyd Robertson Special guest Lloyd Robertson anchors a newscast and sings from his favourite opera Sister Bonaventure Sister Bonaventure has a few choice words about High School strip searches I Love That Word Refooooorm Special guest Deborah Grey joins our Preston Manning in the singing of Auld Lang Syn
Chretien Phones Clinton Jean Chretien phones in his support for Bill Clinton Beavertone News - The Olympics A bribery scandal has an Olympic spokesperson changing the organization's name from IOC to IOU Mansbridge and Expectant Mother Canada's most handsome newscaster interviews Canada's most pregnant woman ESL News The English As A Second Language News team targets a downed balloonist, a postal increase, and Bill Clinton, who goes both up and down The Confused Philosopher The Confused Philosopher takes a cerebral walk on the weird side Beavertone News - Atwood Bug Margaret Atwood discovers what it is like to have a bug's life Billy Two Willies Native spokesperson Billy Two Willies lists the Top Ten ways to spend one hundred million dollars Sisket & Ebert Bickering balcony buddies, Siskel & Ebert go thumb to thumb over their favourite movies from 1998
Air Canada Blackout An Air Canada spokesperson gives stranded customers the ultimate snow job Brenda The Bingo Lady Brenda dabs and gabs about Toronto's snow disaster, snow in Ottawa, Olympic bribery scandal, St. John's man swallows a pin at a McDonald's, Pope plans to visit Clinton, Chretien turns 65, Manitoba election scandal, Walt Disney video recall Rex Murphy - Impeachment Rex Murphy, the perspicacious purveyor of political pundacity, probes President Clinton's impeachment Life & Times Promo Tim Horton Queen Plans Wedding Wedding fever hits Buckingham Palace The Inept Carpenter Handyman from Hell, Roy Earle drills for trouble The Member for Kicking Horse Pass Special guest Dave Broadfoot goes looking for a sex scandal in Ottawa One Minute Sports Break TSN's Darren Dutchyshen uses his One Minute Sports Break to look at Mike Tyson's upcoming fight, the NHL's lack of exposure on NBC, an NBA training camp, Michael Jordan retires, and the Toronto Ma
Clinton - State of the Union Bill Clinton's State of the Union Address, pop-up video style Beavertone News Child mauls rottweiler Canada AM Canada AM's Dan Matheson interviews a blizzard battered Toronto couple Senate Testimony Impeachment trial Representatives face the ultimate immorality, themselves Dave the Cab Driver Dave the cab driver experiences headline-rage. Included on his hit list are, Canadian winters, La Nina, Olympic committee bribes, Boris Yeltsin not dead again, Russians sell blood for money, Pope goes to Mexico, New Ottawa pet law, Olympic stadium, Sheila Copps in Hustler, and Canadians retire on lottery winnings. Saddam Yankees Saddam Hussein stars in a new Broadway musical, ""Saddam Yankees"" Pamela Wallin Garth Drabinsky talks to Pamela Wallin about his new book, ""How to Fail Your Way To Fame And Fortune"" Larry King An interview with God
Sunday Report Sunday Report with Wendy Mesley looks at the Pope in St. Louis, Hilary Clinton's new self-help book, Sprint long distance company, Mafia selling uranium, Sasquatch, Dan Quayle, Olympic bribery scandal, Brian Tobin, Elsie Wayne, Reform Party name change Weather Report Five day weather forecast for Toronto Bob McKenzie & Alexei Yashin Alexei Yashin gives one million reasons why he wants his money back from the National Arts Centre Weather Report Five day weather forecast for Vancouver Chretien's Swiss Dinner Speech Jean Chretien tastes the Swiss national dish, Ricola Meatloaf Weather Report Five day forecast for the Yukon Graveside Phone-in Mourners' cell phones keep interupting a funeral Impeachment Panel Geraldo Rivera discusses impeachment with Elizabeth Dole, Ted Kennedy, and Larry Flynt. A winner, a sinner, and a dog's dinner Pope Visits U.S. The Pope visits St. Louis, home of the patron saint of baseball Weather Report F
Videopinion - Wiarton Willy Wiarton Willy's widow, Winnie, delivers her late husband's eulogy Smokers' Commentary Smokers Phil and Jerry talk about Jean Chretien's social contract with the provinces, PEI snow removal crews go to a Leaf's game, Groundhog Day, blowing forty bucks at the Super Bowl, Nova Scotia coal miners, smuggling refugees under a truck, sex causes amnesia, Canadian military in Kosovo, American Senate doesn't get the two thirds vote, and legislation for American magazines coming into Canada House of Commons Translation The House of Commons provides simultaneous translation for those who don't speak Chretien-adian Joe Clark and Leslie Jones Leslie Jones interviews Joe Clark, who sums up the idea of uniting the right in three words, ""Just Say No"" Aphazard on Fat Professor Llewllyn Aphazard lectures on the evolution of fat Linehan Talk show host Brian Linehan interviews Italian director Alfredo Fettuccini Ted Nugent on Bear Hunt Ban Rocker Te
Downhill Chretien Not attending King Hussein's funeral makes Jean Chretien the newest dope on the slope Chicken Cannon News The Chicken Cannon News scores a direct hit on Juan Antonio Samarranch. Topics covered - mourning King Hussein, Boris Yeltsin turns 68, new Toronto beer, Barbie turns 40, smuggling immigrants into Buffalo, Exorcism For Dummies, new Olympic mascot, Clinton acquitted, Jerry Falwell's favourite Teletubby, Vancouver Grizzlies, new Toronto cat law Nancy Wilson and Colin Thatcher Convicted murderer Colin Thatcher can't keep his horse in jail Bouchard - State of the Province Lucien Bouchard is upset with the new social contract, it leaves Quebecers with nothing to bitch about Elton John Tribute Elton John sings about the loss of his closest friend, Wiarton Willy Mike's Valentine Thoughts Mike from Canmore writes a Valentine poem Tobin Media Conference Re-elected Newfoundland Premier Brian Tobin denies he has bigger cod to fry Political
News From Away: East coast anchors Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole look back at the hot news stories from the summer of '99. In this segment they report on Mike Harris' separation, Mir, Robin Hood, and Kosovo refugees. Eaton's Eulogy: During an Eaton's eulogy, mourners are offered 60% off. Coast Guard Watch: The navy goes trawling for Chinese migrants. CBC News Update #1: Peter Mansbridge reports on a number of Jean Chretien government appointments. In this segment he reports Canada's new representative to the United Nations is Mr. Dressup. Yassar, Barak, Albright: With Madeline Albright at his side, Yassar Arafat goes for a little piece in the Middle East. CBC News Update #2: Peter Mansbridge reports on the appointment of hockey player Tie Domi as ambassador to East Timor. Who Wants to be a Canadian Millionaire?: It's yucks for bucks when Mike from Canmore becomes a contestant on ""Who Wants To Become A Millionaire."" News From Away - Update #2: Jimmy and Shamus report on
News From Away # 2: Jimmy and Shamus continue their look back at the summer of 2000. Their list of topics include, O'Canada sung in schools, outlawing gangs in Montreal, rumoured merger between NDP and PC's, the start of the NHL season, and the re-release of the Exorcist. Olympic Moment - 100M Run: A couple of Canadians anxiously await the start of the 100 M finals. Clark's Return: Joe Clark returns to the House of Commons, a leader without a party. Synchronized Weightlifting: Synchronized weightlifters perform for the judges. PM's New Security Detail: Jean Chretien's new security team - the pie police. Brian Williams ""Time"": Brian Williams is left clockless in Sydney. Lobster Tales: More trouble in the New Brunswick lobster fishery - the lobsters get a lawyer. Gas Price: While filling up his car a customers temper rises faster than gas prices. Canadian Beer Commercial: Mike from Canmore makes a beer commercial. Valerie Pringle - Water: Ontario's water quality c
Wazzup, Chrétien?: Paul Martin calls Jean Chretien to see … wazzup!!? Jock McBile: Jock McBile rants about the renaming of Mt. Logan, drunk driving, Quebec language terrorists, Mike Harris' $200 tax rebate cheques, Air Canada profits, and the world's largest pumpkin. Sports Fans: Sports fans ponder the true meaning of life. CTV Newsnet: Milosevic's New Career: Slobodan Milosevic's new career includes the phrase - Do you want fries with that? Firearms License Registration: Gun owners discuss the government's new mandatory firearm licensing registration. Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News looks at Walkerton water, a Liberal web site linked to porn sites, Boris Yeltsin's memoirs, Stockwell Day, Harrison McCain, George W. Bush, and fires a shot at Slobodan Milosevic. Undercurrents: Mel Lastman: Wendy Mesley talks trash with Toronto mayor Mel Lastman. Ottawa Private Eye: An Ottawa Private Eye tries to decipher clues about the upcoming election.
Chrétien Plans Election: Jean Chrétien sizes up his election competition with Sheila Copps. Stockwell Day Commercial 1: Stockwell Day uses his granddaughter to explain our national debt. Air Canada: Air Canada president Robert Milton outlines his airlines motto - the customer always comes last. Walkerton Inquiry Highlights: The Walkerton inquiry is like a trip to Mexico - don't drink the water. Stockwell Day Commercial 2: Stockwell Day's tax plans are definitely squirrelly. ESL News: The English as a Second Language news team report on Brian Tobin, Alexa McDonough, the Auditor General Report, and Harry Potter. Confused Philosopher: The Confused Philosopher provides plenty of observation conversation Billy Two Willies: Election Preview: Billy Two Willies' election preview - party policy books are great for sending smoke signals. Bush & Gore on CNN: During a Presidential debate, Bush and Gore encounter tongue lash. Stockwell Day Commercial 3: Stockwell Day provides a ru
The Wendy Report: Wendy Mesley takes aim at the G-20 Summit, economist reacts to the Nortel plunge, Carlos Delgado re-signs, J.K. Rowling Book Reading, Roger Clemens' bat incident, Arson in Winnipeg, Beethoven vs. Keith Richards, Angela Lansbury, Wal-Mart Wine, and three political natural disasters. Bill Clinton Dials 976-Yassar: Yassar Arafat and Bill Clinton trade war stories about life in the Middle East and life with Hillary. Vote Clark: Joe Clark does a campaign ad from the woods but unlike Stockwell Day, he doesn't cut it. Election Update - B.S. 2000: Sandi Rinaldo from the Air Farce election center, B.S. 2000. Off The Record: TSN's Michael Landsberg talks sports and looks pretty. Girder Worker: A girder worker talks about Stockwell Day, Joe Clark, Brian Mulroney, Glen Clark, a Jean Chretien election issue, and a topless logging protester. Time Change: A couch potato discovers the toughest adjustment about Standard Time is resetting the clock on his VCR. Wendy's
News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on the battle over MP Elsie Wayne's seat, Sault Ste. Marie robbery, Playstation 2, Ralph Klein's cuts, NDP campaign song, Paula Jones in Penthouse, election point - counterpoint, and seasonal pregnancies. The Cursing Nun: Sister Bonaventure has a few choice words about rapper Eminen's Toronto performance. Chrétien's Campaign Commercial: Jean Chretien shoots a new TV commercial. Nortel Stock Shock: Nortel stocks send investors off the deep end. Election Update - B.S. 2000: B.S. 2000 features up to the moment election analysis. Smoke In Chretien's Plane, Brian Tobin As Oil Slick, Red Book 3, Rollerblading Stockwell, Clark Losing In Own Riding, Phone Poll, McDonough Speech Highlights, Vox Pop Predicts NDP Majority. Member for Kicking Horse Pass: The member of Parliament for Kicking Horse Pass, the Honourable David J. Broadfoot addresses his constituents concerns. Stockwell in Church: Stockwell Day sings and dances to his new camp
B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 1: Don Newman serves as you federal election guide as he looks back at a time when Canadian politics was exciting. Chrétien's Hospital Visit: Jean Chretien's hands-on approach to healthcare. Preston Manning: Risky Business: Preston Manning gets jiggy in Stornoway. The Wendy Report: Wendy Mesley and her panel of experts discuss the federal election. B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 2: Don Newman takes us to the next section of the program. Joe Clark Refused Entry: Joe Clark gets all dressed up for a visit to the House of Commons. Jane Stewart's Boondoggle: Human Resources Minister Jane Stewart, has some explaining to do. Stockwell Day Commercial: Stockwell Day TV ad - nothing but child's play. B.S. 2000 - Don Newman # 3: Don Newman returns to take us to the end of the look back. Paul Martin & Rita McNeil: To help explain his fiscal plans, finance Minster Paul Martin recruits the singing talents of Rita McNeil. Ottawa Survivor: Who will get voted off
All Aboard The Martin Express: Paul Martin's feet show their leadership qualities. Larry King Live - George Bush: Larry King gives George W. Bush the ""dimwit"" test. B.S. 2000: B.S. 2000 uncovers all the latest election news. Paul Martin leadership hopes, Jean Chretien's one-tier healthcare system, Stockwell Day's family picnic, Alexa McDonough in Regina, Gilles Duceppe's connection to Lucien Bouchard, vox pox predicts liberal majority with Joe Clark as leader. The Ghost and M. Chrétien: Jean Chrétien is visited by the ghost of elections past - Pierre Trudeau. Videopinion: Some Like It Hot: Global warming leaves Taffi hot under the accordion. Park n' Joke: Nick the parking lot attendant sounds off about, Alexa McDonough's wardrobe, Stockwell Day as a used car salesman, Stockwell turns to Judaism, negative campaign ads, Florida election shootout, new Blue Jay manager, charity hockey games ends in brawl. Stockwell's Sour Note: Stockwell Day sings in sign language. Chicken C
Smokers' Commentray: Phil and Jerry's nicotine moment looks at racist politicians, Jean Chrétien on criminals, Alexa McDonough's student free loans, Stockwell's name referendum, the Grey Cup, the Guess Who, the Buffalo blizzard, and Mike Harris' pay raise. God Bless America: Clinton Style: A U.S. Presidential stalemate: Bush and Gore are stale and Clinton wants to mate. Environmentally Friendly Alexa: Alexa McDonough pleads for a clean environment for when she's out on the street. The Jeanfather: Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan for one of his constituents.. Joe Presses The Flesh: Not even the faint hope clause can help Joe Clark. Jock McBile: Jock rants about election coverage overload, U.S. election counting woes, George Bush, the Florida lawyer influx, a new reality tv show, Toronto Police and the mentally ill, unwanted Christmas gifts and voting advice. Beware The Ides Of Mike: While in a bar, Mike from Canmore learns a pick-up isn't a truck. B.S. 2000: B.S. 20
Cab Driver: Dave the cabbie comments on the movie Titanic, Mel Lastman's infidelity, CBC Chair's resignation, Robert Downey Jr., George Bush, food safety in Ontario, Cirque de Soleil and Eric Lindros Prophet on the Mount: An all knowing prophet gives a sermon on the federal election. Charles & Camilla: A Montréal fling leaves Prince Charles in the doghouse with Camilla! Jean Chrétien's Wheel of Patronage: Jean Chrétien celebrates his majority victory by spinning the wheel of patronage. Stockwell & Deborah: Stockwell Day trades in his wet suit for his birthday suit. Medical Alert: A doctor prescribes the necessary remedy for cold and flu season. Ralph Klein's Hot Tub: Ralph Klein makes bubbles in his hot tub as he describes how he will spend Alberta's surplus. Mountain Climber: A couple of rock climbers make a mountain out of a Sasquatch hill.
Bush & Gore's Courtroom Battle: Bush and Gore go to court and face Judge Judy. Canadian Moment: The donut shop gang discuss Christmas gift ideas, Jean Chrétien's homeless handout, Walkerton water, Virgin airlines, Lucien Bouchard, men who listen with half their brain, and winter driving in Toronto. Peter Mansbridge's Bovine Banter: Peter Mansbridge goes one on one with a mad cow. New Digital TV Channels: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me disses the new digital tv channels. Man At Bar: Our man at the bar has some sobering thoughts on Mel Lastman's alleged infidelity, boxers with tatoos, wild animal shows on TV, American high school kids who can't read, the ban on outdoor smoking and Jean Chrétiens visit with Bill Clinton. Mel Speaks Out: Mel Lastman proves he is the David Crosby of politics. Mike's 12 Days of Christmas: Mike from Canmore sings ""The 12 Canmore Days of Christmas"".
News From Away: New Year's Eve 2000: Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole look back at the news from 2000: the federal election, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage problem, and Anne Heche. Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole also sweep through 52 Weeks In 52 Seconds. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?: Special guest Pamela Wallin goes from the host's seat to the hot seat on Who Wants To Be A Canadian millionaire. I Am Canadian.: Mike from Canmore's version of ""I am Canadian."" Man to Mansbridge: Special guest Stockwell Day speaks ""Man to Mansbridge"" at Stornoway and leaves no agenda unturned. Tim Hortons Coffee Romance: Single White Female seeks long-term relationship with Double Mocha Coffee. New Year's Eve Beer Story: Kenny and Bruce have a suds-tastic New Beer's Eve. Paul Martin: Paul Martin learns that waiting for Jean Chretien to retire is even worse than waiting for the cable guy to show up. Blind Date: CBC Jonovision host Jonathan Torrens goes on a blind date with Sue the sex therapist. Critic a
Wendy Report: The Wendy Report targets Jean Chretien's birthday, Air Canada layoffs, Hell Angel's in Ontario, Mario Lemieux, George W. Bush's cabinet picks, New Brunswick doctors strike, Ontario fugitives Ron and Loren Koval, Puff Daddy, seven escaped prisoners from a Texas prison, Time Magazine's man of the year, and the value of the Canadian dollar in 2030. Bouchard & Duceppe: Lucien Bouchard and Gilles Duceppe team up to sing, ""That's Separation."" BBC News: Breast Enlargement: BBC News reports - breast implants are for everyone. George W. Bush's NY Address: George W. Bush lays out the groundwork for his Presidency. Worker on a Girder: A girder worker talks about Ally McBeal, Canadian Federal party leaders, new Microsoft/Lazy-boy chair, Donovan Bailey, Vancouver drug addict sues dealer, Toronto's 2008 Olympic bid, and Hamilton's environmental record. Ebert & Roeper @ The Movies: Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper put their best thumb forward reviewing the blockbuster of 2000. T
Chrétien and Martin - Bouchard Resignation: Paul Martin prays Jean Chretien will catch Bouchard fever and resign. Doctor On Winter Health: A doctor has the cure for exchanging in-flight winter germs. Abendigo And Atwood: Margaret Atwood demonstrates the pen might be mightier than the sword but her singing is a lethal weapon. Brenda The Bingo Lady: Brenda the Bingo Lady dabs and gabs about New Year's resolutions, Temptation Island, same-sex lesbian wedding, gay wedding ceremony, gas prices, Meg Ryan/Russell Crowe break-up, eclipse in Turkey, and Montreal Expos on The Comedy Network. @discovery.ca - Designer Animals: Jay Ingram is a real curious George when it comes to monkeying around with genetically modified primates. Anne McLellan Gun Registration: Gun registration for dummies. Saltspring Animal Haven: Back-to-the-land animal lovers invade Saltspring Island.
Stan's Internet Baby Service: Stan unveils his new web page, www.e-baby.com. Canadiens Sale: An American takeover leaves Montreal Canadiens fans wondering - to Habs or Hab nots. Jock McBile: Jock McBile comments on Stockwell Day's costly lawsuit. E. Coli Testimony: At the Walkerton inquiry, an e-coli is called to the witness stand. ESL News: The English As A Second Language News duo report on Bernard Landry, Celine Dion has a baby, oil spill in the Galapagos Islands, Canadian Alliance 12-step program, Canadian immigration, George W. Bush's inauguration, new jobs for Bill Clinton's staff, Super Bowl XXXV, man gives cat marijuana, Jesse Jackson's love child, and Quebec drivers. Future-Chapters Shop: Future-Chapters Shop - takeover wars. Mike on a Park Bench: Mike from Canmore's park proposition. Bush Inauguration: George W. Bush takes the oaf of office. The Baby Story: A baby story - true stories that make women cry and men cringe.
Chrétien & Clarkson: Throne Speech: The throne speech is true to form, totally incoherent. Chicken Cannon News: Reports on new Saskatchewan premier, two thousand dollar Walkerton settlement, George W. Bush's Star Wars plan, Bernard Landry in dictionary, Canadian Mint issues new fifty dollar bill, , Wayne Gretzky turns 40, and the TV show E.R. The Chicken Cannon serves Bernard Landry an authentic Canadian meal... E. Coli Testimony: An oil spill in the Galapagos Islands leaves Charles Darwin's grandson spouting off about the theory of pollution. Parliamentary Highlights: Day: Stockwell Day's parliamentary quickie. Celine and Baby: Celine Dion becomes a mom. Billy 2 Willies : BC Name Change: Billy Two Willies give British Columbia a native name overhaul. Parliamentary Highlights: McDonough: Alexa McDonough's parliamentary quickie. Videopinion: Groundhog Day: An anti-groundhog crusader would like to see Groundhog Day ground to a halt. Parliamentary Highlights: Clark: Joe Cl
Dinner on Titanic: Dinner on the Titanic leaves everyone with an appetite for disaster. Ebert & One Fat Lady: Gourmet cook One Fat Lady pairs with Roger Ebert to look at the movies of 1999. Seventh Sense: Joe Clark can see things... Million Dollar Babies: Multiple mother Dionne discovers there's no business like the baby business. Critic at Large with David Cronenberg: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me meets special guest David Cronenberg Quiz Show Excerpt: A quiz show contestant tries to answer a skill testing question. Deadman Walking Excerpt: You just never know who you're going to see in prison... The Jeanfather: Godfather Jean Chrétien arranges a loan. Alfredo Fettuccini Excerpt: A scene from one of Italy's most famous movies.
CTV Chrétien's China Trip: Lloyd Robertson, Canada's most articulate news anchor, interviews Jean Chrétien, Canada's most inarticulate prime minister. Ariel Sharon, Lois & Bram: New Israeli leader Ariel Sharon entertains kids on a new CD, Ariel Sharon, Lois and Bram. CTV Sportsnet: Two sportscasters make the average jock look like a genius. News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus O'Toole report on Canadian Pacific being split into five companies, Mike Harris takes girlfriend on Chinese trade mission, potato wart, closing down of Napster, Canadian/Brazilian trade war, Mazda SUV runs over Zoom Zoom kid, office party drunk awarded $300,000, mapping of Genome, Elton John teams up with Eminem, Tom Cruise's divorce, Facts of Life Survivor, and Star Wars defense system. B.C. Hikers: A forest ranger shows a hiker how not to become cougar trail mix. Critic @ Large: Oscars 2001: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me trashes this years Oscar nominees. Klein & Clark: Joe Clark offers election tips to
Linda Sims & John Roth: Nortel changes its name to No Tell because there's no telling what will happen next. Saddam Speaks Out: Saddam Hussein's television broadcast is more than just a ratings killer. Welsh Restaurant & Inspector: A health inspector checks out a restaurant with food fit for a stomach pump. Cab Driver: Dave the cabbie expresses his opinion on winter driving, Brett Lindro's snowmobile accident, U of T cheating scandal, Russian FBI spy, Jean Chretien's China trade mission, Sue Johanson gets Order of Canada, XFL, reality TV, hand-free cell phones, student sells soul over the internet, B.C. premier Ujjal Dosanjh, and Victoria Secrets. Rich Couple Loses All: Bad investments turn a rich couple's cruise on the Love Boat into a trip to the Poor House. Investors Group Commercial: Investment advice for the economically challenged. Bush Address: George W. Bush's presidential update. Yin-Yang News: Yin-Yang News, your X and Y chromosome newscast comments on woman who
Canadian Moment: Air Farce's donut dunkers chew on high Alberta heating costs, B.C. earthquake, Britian's hoof and mouth disease, NDP meeting, Ontario Metis ruling, Bill Clinton's political pardon woes, Celine Dion website, Elvis Stojko, asteroid crashes to earth and Mir space station. Beavertone News: Wallpaper: A wallpaper store has a sale on Nortel stock. Bouchard & Landry: Lucien Bouchard hands over his separatist keys to Bernard Landry. Greenspan Address: Alan Greenspan explains the ups and downs of the economy. Mike's Antique Roadshow: Mike from Canmore is a smash on the Antiques Roadshow. Nancy Wilson: Napster: Morning napper Nancy Wilson talks Napster with Keith Richards. Girder Guy: A girder worker has riveting comments on John Cleghorn's retirement, horsemeat replaces beef in Europe, new politically correct words and Bernard Landry. Off The Record: Sports talker Michael Landsberg deals with a punch drunk fighter and a food drunk actress.
Martin's Speech On The Economy: The economy leaves Paul Martin with a sinking feeling. ESL News: English As A Second Language newsreaders targets the Olympic evaluation team in Toronto, Napster, New Brunswick hospital strike, Stockwell Day's legal woes, Stockwell playing pool, Stockwell on Ebay, Peter Mansbridge gets burned by Survivor, Joe Clark's coalition plans, single father study, and Stavros the Espresso Drinking Greek rants about foot and mouth disease. Survivor Quickie: Outlast, Outwit, and Out of the closet. Parliament After Dark: Joe Clark's late night Parliamentary TV show - Clark In The Dark. Sandie Rinaldo - Earthquakes: Since the earthquake, Sandie Rinaldo knows why everyone is Sleepless In Seattle. Farm Aid, The Opera: Cash strapped farmers' sing for their supper. Parking Lot Attendant: When not destroying his customers cars, a parking attendant comments on Hillary Clinton, Canadians who live to be 200 years old, Stockwell Day's leadership qualifications, Sto
Opening Credits & Wolfe: Plains of Abraham: From French explorer Jacques Cartier's foray into Canada to General Wolfe's adventures in Québec. Rex Murphy & Champlain: Special guest Rex Murphy interviews Samuel de Champlain. John Graves Simcoe: Special guest Graham Greene as John Graves Simcoe negotiates land claims with Billy Two Willies and Susan Born-with-an-Attitude. Battle of Queenston Heights: Not only is war hell, it can also be very cheap. Laura Secord & Cow: Lauara Secord engages in bovine banter with her cow. Macdonald & Fathers of Confederation: Charlottetown plays host to Sir John A. MacDonald and his fellow fathers of confederation. Louis Riel: Louis Riel as a fanatic radical radical bent on separation looks suspiciously like Lucien Bouchard. The Last Spike: Mike from Canmore helps link the east to the west. WW1: Trenches: Canada's fighting Puck Demon platoon is battle ready. The Big Wrap Up: A look at what Canada has become...
Manning Resigns: Preston Manning holds a press conference to announce his retirement from politics. Wendy Report: The Wendy Report investigates agriculture Minister Lyle Fancier, Ariel Sharon's visit to Washington, Montreal's Olympic stadium, Puff Daddy and the movie Traffic, Joe Clark's stolen laptop, Prime Minister's golf course troubles, tax time and women on submarines. Mir Quickie: Scientists predict where the Mir space station will crash land. Foot and Mouth Meat Shoppe: An English butcher tip toes around foot and mouth disease. Ebert and Not Ebert: Oscars: Ebert and Roeper's assault on the Academy Awards: Castaway, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and more. Jaffer Apologizes: An apologetic Alliance MP Rahim Jaffer is everything to everyone. Gene Spliced Baby: A couple goes on a fertility hunt in search of a designer baby. Jock McBile: Jock McBile shares his thoughts on the stock market, Canadian dollar, teenagers arrested for counterfeiting, Starbucks moving into Qu
2000 was a year where a Cuban boy became an international name, Russia got a new leader, the U.S. Presidents term expired, the Pope visited the holy Land and television was flooded with more commercials and regulations. Special guests Ralph Benmergui and Pamela Wallin add to the fun with cameo apperances.
Bush Forgets Canada: President George W. Bush thanks all the countries that were in the coalition with the United States against terrorism, but forgets about one important country, and learns the hard way that ""C"" stands for Canada. New Digital Channels, Part 1: The Crocodile Hunter Network and Chum's latest ""MUCH"" Channel. CTV News with Wolf and Greta: Lloyd Robertson reports the week's news and interviews CNN's Greta Van Susteren and Wolf Blitzer on terrorism. New Digital Channels, Part 2: The FPJMN Network and Endangered Species Network. Prime Minister Jean Chrétien's Press Conference: Jean Chrétien responds to the alleged snub of Canada in George Bush's address to the American people. New Digital Channels, Part 3: The Water Network and Pigeon Sex Channel. Weakest (Canadian) Link: Margaret Atwood (author), Ralph Klein (premier of Alberta), and Neil Young (singer and guitarist) are competing against each other in Canada's Weakest Link! Newsworld Today: Joe Clark and Nan
A Message From Air Canada: At Air Canada, desperate times require desperate measures. Stockwell Day's Caucus Meeting: Stockwell Day addresses the remaining members of his caucus/party: Stockwell Day. New Digital Channels, Part 4: The Numbers Channel and the Roadie Channel. The Three Divas: Celine Dion (Sheila McCarthy) and Rita MacNeil team up as a dynamic diva duo after a leaving of one of it's members. Erectile Difficulties: Erectile Dysfunction can be a laughing matter, when someone reveals their problem with Sean Cullen. Ron Bickel: Computer Anti-Virus: Ron Bickel's email virus solution is slick as he presents a new method. Scream TV President: The President of the new horror channel, Scream TV, is a real... scream! Health Check, Part 2: The Medical Profession: Dr. Joy Thoms speaks with Dr. Heather O'Brien about the largest challenge facing the medical profession. Jaws 2001: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish shark and he'll probably get
News From Away: Jimmy & Shamus reports on Canada's population, air travel, security checks at airports, U.S. humanitarian food drops, the best way to defeat Osama bin Laden, the Ontario-Vermont border and cousin Mavis O'Toole provides the business report. Ukrainian General's Translation: A Ukrainian military representative explains travel safety, with simultaneous english translation. John Manley's Immigration Test: Immigration Minister John Manley announces a new security measure: a Canadian quiz to pass the border. CNN Report: CNN explains about many aspects of the war coverage with an interview with CNN's Aaron Brownn and the CNN correspondent. Martha Stewart Living: Cloning: Martha Stewart creates a clone using household items. Jean Chrétien & Larry King: Jean Chrétien talks to CNN's Larry King about Canada and the war on terrorism. Nicoderm Patch: A commercial on a smoking patch that really works, which was edited two times. Off The Record: Sportstalker Michael Lands
Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie talks about Premier Mike Harris' resignation; Canada Post and toxic substances; Canadian food drops; Alexa McDonough; Bono's visit to Chrétien; Paul McCartney's benefit concert; Canada Savings Bonds; and a new CFL team in Ottawa. Anne McLellan: Anti-Terrorist Legislation: Justice Minister Anne McLellan's new anti-terrorist legislation targets everyone. bin Laden Watch, Part 1: The search for the most notorious felon since the guy who invented bank service charges. Hurricane Tourists: A tourist couple is blown away by Hurricane Iris. bin Laden Watch, Part 2: Political Spotlight: The show where politicians burn themselves. bin Laden Watch, Part 3: History Channel Promo: : Revisionist History, righting Canadian historical wrongs. Air Canada Board Presentation: Robert Milton hires an ad person to help his ailing airlines. Bono visits Chrétien: Jean Chrétien talks with Bono and acts like a bozo. bin Laden Watch, Part 4: Brenda at the
Canadian Moment: Air Farce's donut shop quartette talk about the Canadian Alliance party, Canadians gaining an hour of sleep, Air Canada, bank rate drops, Al Qaeda, Canada's Immigration Department hires new recruits, drug company threatens to sue government, Hooters new credit card, Michael Jackson, comet passes earth, and Mike Harris. Nation's Business: GM Food: Health minister Allan Rock goes on genetically modified food frenzy. Sopranos Promo: The Sopranos contains extreme violence, coarse language and men with high voices. BBC Interviews Tony Blair: Tony Blair is interviewed about the war situation with George Bush against Afghanistan. He explains about non-action and action, spoken like a true politician. He promises to attack terrorism with his country's most threatening weapon - The Royal Family. Local Report: Two anchors talk about different things occuring in the world including the death of the famous, Bongo the Lion. Osama Videotape: Cave fever has a delusional Osa
Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News targets the Canadian dollar woes, Allan Rock, Cipro shipment, U.S. Post Office's new motto, Newfoundland's new name, Conrad Black's lordship, CIBC job cuts, cigarette tax, container ship stowaway, Stockwell Day, TD Bank computer crash, Nova Scotia nudists, Bill Clinton, Kelowna snake mom and Michael Jordan. CTV News: CSIS Interview: Sandie Rinaldo interviews the unknown spy. Chrétien & Martin: December Budget: Jean Chrétien and Paul Martin's meeting about the budget. Health Quiz: 4 out of 5 doctors feel The Canadian Health Quiz is the best quiz since the last quiz. Dave Broadfoot - Bartholomew: A geezer goes one on one with a biker gang and explains about his experiences. Glen Clark Commercial: Glen Clark's deck building company offers 100% off to B.C. politicians. Talking To Afghans:CBC's newest comedy featuring Rick Mercer - Talking to Afghans where Mercer interviews with Afghanistan people about the war situation. And his respond
MacIntosh Marriage: A Scottish lad from the MacIntosh clan discovers the wife, he has picked is incompatible after a talk with his parents. Curling Marriage Breakup: The sport of curling leaves a marriage on the rocks. Mike Wine Tasting: Mike from Canmore enters a wine tasting meeting. Olympic Luge: Communications is very important for a successful two man Luge team. Jock McBile - Debt/PM's: Jock shows us how we got to our present debt (1994) from former Prime Ministers Pierre Trudeau to Brian Mulroney. Mobile Phone on Train: A commuter derails a couple of cell phone users. Washroom Ladder Rental: A washroom attendant has his sights set on climbing the corporate ladder.
Wendy Report: The Wendy Report reports on Canada 3000, proposed CBC-CTV merge, women who fall asleep after making love, fertile sperm findings, the Taliban, Osama bin Laden's nuclear collection, and the anthrax scare. Anthrax Emergency: Emergency Task Force officers deal with a suspicious package. Harry Potter: Harry Potter merchandise makes your money all magically disappear. There are many useless items on sale, for hundreds of dollars, now at local stores, and you must watch the movie againa dn again and again. CNN Time Delay Interview: : CNN's Aaron Brown experiences interview lag with Christiane Amanpour. Critic - New TV Season: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me sinks his teeth into the new TV season. Caplan at Immigration: Elinor Caplan struts her stuff as Minister in Charge of Not Letting Terrorists into Canada. Bush Address: George W. Bush performs his new song on the situation with Osama bin Laden and like the saying goes, ""War is Party!""
News From Away: Jimmy & Shamus report on Nelson Mandela's Canadian citizenship, Conrad Black, Afghanistan Pakool Hats, Harry Potter, the G-20 meeting, death of Andrew McNally, Bernard Landry, the Grey Cup, Royal Bank, Paul Anka, Women's Brains and Canadian troops. Weather Network: Traveller's Forecast: U.S. Special Forces Briefing: American Special Forces in Afghanistan learn whack-a-Laden as part of basic training. bin Ladin is fast and craft, and you do not know where he will show up next. Chrétien & Martin - New VIA Train: Jean Chrétien learns VIA Rail is like the liberal party, both carry a lot of useless freight. Weather Network: Overnight Forecast: Conrad Black Fairy Tale: In the land of Cross Harbour, Lord Tubby Black rules with an iron tongue. Weather Network: Hurricane: Geraldo in Afghanistan: The Rivera Brothers get involved in the war situation and they must search for Osama in a cave. Sister Bonaventure - Expos: The demise of the Montréal Expos leaves The Cu
Stan's Travel: Stan's traveloffers the cheapest prices for travelling the world! Sims & Financial Expert: Business analyst Linda ""Skunkhead"" Sims cautions a reporter at the supermarket not to upset her. Mansbridge & Bin Laden's Right Hand Man: Peter Mansbridge interviews Afghanistan's puppet regime about Osama bin Laden's position. Headline News: Heads-Up News where just the heads read the news. Landry Explains: Québec Premier Bernard Landry has renamed the PQ the TQ, the Taliban Québecois and renamed the major cities of Quebec and the province's name too, to Quebekistan. Cape Breton Coal Miner: An unemployed miner is clearing out the area after mining stops. Canadian Tire Couple: Mr. and Mrs. Fix had some great gift ideas, which make you grateful that Christmas comes only once a year. Vacuums, exploding birds, etc... Smokers Corner: Puffers pontificate on Canadian troops on hold, WTN firings, NDP name change, weight loss with high frequency sounds, cloning Human Embryos,
Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie high-flags Canadian borders, Rogers Internet disruption, the bombing of Yassar Arafat, Vancouver terrorist sentenced, Stockwell Day, Toronto's garbage, Air Canada complaints, George Harrison, Canadians' donations to New York, Pierce Brosnan as being the sexiest man of year, shyness drug and human cloning. Bin Laden Watch Returns #1: Osama seen selling hot dogs in front of the Calgary Saddledome, and at a Nortel Meeting. Sports Central Co-Hosts: The Dynamic Diction Duo comes up with the current sports and recent sports news. Bin Laden Watch Returns #2: Osama spotted in the Coach's Corner of Hockey Night in Canada and one of the Flying Doritos in Vancouver. Martin Prepares Budget: Paul Martin speaks about a new budget in Canada. Bin Laden Watch Returns #3: Osama sighted in a scouts troop in Moncton, New Brunswick. English Pie: A discussion between Prince Charles and Prince William. Book Review: Heather Reisman's book hit list. Reel to Real
This one-hour New Year's Eve Special gathered up many of the best segments of each show in the year 2001: Chrétien & Larry King Harry Potter Digital Channels #1 U.S. Special Forces Briefing Nancy Wilson: Napster with Keith Richards Digital Channels #2 Talking To Afghans Manning Resigns Politically Correct ""O Canada"" Manley Immigration Test Bush Forgets Canada Farm Aid - The Opera Dyer Report Stockwell's News Conference Digital Channels #3 CNN Time Delay Interview Hedy Fry Apology Bouchard & Duceppe: That's Separation Linda Sims & John Roth: Nortel Dragoderm Stan's Internet Baby Service Pringle & Landry Weakest Canadian Link
Chicken Cannon: Target of 2001: The Chicken Cannon takes aim at the viewer-voted Target of the Year 2001. Also Alfanso Gagliano, Argentina, Stockwell Day, Ecoli in Regina, Buffalo, warm Canadian winter, search for Osama, Bin Laden's cave, shoe bomber, Hell's Angels, Australian fires, oldest man, Nelly Furtado, Michael Jordan's divorce, propaganda filmmaker and gay UPS doll. Investigative Science: In the race to produce pig parts for humans a scientist wins by a snout. Critic: 2001 Year in Entertainment: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me uncovers 2001's entertainment highs and lows. Olympic Moment: The Skeleton: An Olympic coach sends his athlete on a downhill path. Canada 3000: Canada 3000 returns on a wing and a prayer as Canada $29.95. Guy Lafleur for ED: The aging hockey star, Montreal Canadiens forward Guy Lafleur deals with Erectile Dysfunction. Chrétien Addresses The Troops: Jean Chrétien gives Canadian soldiers an Afghani survival kit - soup, Buckley cough syrup and Curl
CTV News Net: Martin & Sims: Paul Martin has difficulty figuring which loonie is in more trouble, the Canadian dollar or Linda ""Skunkhead"" Sims. Videopinion: Postage Increase: Wally and Junior experience stamp rage. A Postcard from John Manley: John Manley travels around the world and reveals them as photo ops. Always Right: Radio right-winger commentator Les Morley promotes his new book, ""Nuke All Them Bastards"". Ford Plant: Crash Test Dummy: The president of Ford begins to lay off some of the workers including a down-sized Ford crash test dummy encounters his biggest fear - unemployment. Afghani TV: Under The Burqa: The Shania Twain of Kandahar sings her song that's with the bullet - ""Under the Burqa."" Wendy Report: The Wendy Report looks at Enron, K-Mart, Mike Tyson (and his new ""beeping"" book), and Prince Charles: addiction counsellor (and going for his next challenge after his son - Ralph Klein). She discusses with Joe Clark, Ted the Timid, and Craig Oliver - the Walke
Dave The Cabbie: Dave the cabbie talks about government's $3.3 billion mistake, Parliament re-opens, Mike Tyson, Canadian on FBI list, K-Mart's president, Groundhog Day, Preston Manning's retirement and McDonald's new Gretzky pucks. Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 1: Huckley's president has a healing prescription for a kid, and it has to work... Dyer Report: Afghanistan Mission: Military analysts Gwynne Dyer comments on Canada's lean, mean fighting machine. Huckley's Cough Syrup, Part 2: A Huckley's employee reveals just what the ingredients are in their cough syrup. Cover Up: paranormal programming for the paranoid. Bush Addresses Nation: President Bush gets all choked up about snack food and even water. Dick Cheney watches on, getting ready to become the next president. Minority News Report: This news team has everything it needs - a token woman and visible minority. They report on the Canadian embassy in Kabul, Ontario's drinking water, Ontario PC leadership race, Alzheimer'
O.J. Clue NEW! from Parkers Brothers: O.J. clue. Can you figure out how O.J. did it? Coalgate Children learn the importance of complimenting the teacher. Stan's Long Distance Company Tired of paying those monopolies through the nose? Try Stan's Long Distance! Mr. Diaper Don't get caught with your pants down again! Norton Union's Funeral Coverage Plus Norton Union's coverage makes sure you can't take it with you! Hemo-Blaster Do you suffer from the pain and itch of hemorrhoids? So does this guy! Klutzes Hotline This new late night chat service will leave you head over heels in love. Stan's Eye Clinic Stan's Eye Clinic offers neither the latest, nor the greatest, in laser eye surgery. Feminist Monopoly Just in time for Christmas, the newest game on the market, Feminist Monopoly. Zintac 78 Zintac 78: All natural, and drug free (if you don't count the demerol!) Sacre Bleu Coureurs de bois paddle their canoe and peddle beer!
I'm Gonna Burst! Roger and Don discover that anything can happen when you put snack food down your pants. If At First You Don't Succeed... John finds out that a hard to hang picture is worth a thousand laughs. Somebody Call 911! Someone should have shown Luba how to operate the fire extinguisher BEFORE we taped the sketch! I'm Pam, From Wadena... Luba asks a tongue tied question and John and Don decide to go with it. Gunslinger... Or Not! As President of Haiti, Roger soon discovers that John is doing more behind his back than what was called for in the script! Don't Lose Your Head! Technically, this one isn't John's fault! He just has a large head! The "voice" at the end is that of our director, Perry Rosemond, as he gently tries to reassure John. Big, Juicy Ones Roger struggles with a few adjectives, or maybe he just finally gets the joke right in the middle of a pre-taping a sketch. Keep Your Hat On! Another mishap for which we're ready to hold our usually excellent production crew responsible. In this instance, it's Wardrobe and Special Effects! "Take Longer To Die" Guest star Shaun Majumder hams it up a bit with Roger before rolling tape. And then, he decides to take artistic license with the direction he's given in this sketch! It's A Miracle? Never before seen! A religious sketch taped for our 1996 New Year's Special. Wait for the blooper towards the end of the piece, as Roger, Don and Luba get to see for the first time the handiwork of our special effects co-ordinator. BIO Tech, Not BIG Tech. Canadian Dollar, not... Guest star Janet Van De Graaff makes a slight flub with the term "Bio Techs", and that throws her completely off the script. NOTE: Janet has previously appeared in a commercial for "Canadian Tire". Baah, Baah Mad Sheep... Roger begins to lose his composure in reaction to Don's character as a British Scientist. Our director Perry Rosemond lets the cameras continue to roll, and Don pulls out all stops to keep Roger from ever r
Bob Dylan Bob Dylan mubles through the week's top news stories: Timothy McVeigh, Saudi Terrorists, Heaven's Gate, Yassar Arafat and the British Election. Leonard Cohen Carstairs Carruthers presents Leonard Cohen's "Songs for a cold, dark, dreay night". The Three Tenors The three tenors - Luciano Pavarotti, Placido Domingo and the other guy - sing your favourite songs! Celine Dion Celine Dion has a shattering experience. Stumpy Tom Conway Canadian music icon Stumpy Tom is "inbred, and worry free... just like the Royal Family". Blind Willy Feldman Blind Willy Feldman is singin' the blues cuz his "toaster is broke". Elton John Elton John sings a moving tribute in honour of a recently departed friend. Due South: The Lost Episode Special Guest Paul Gross appears in the Lost Episode of Due South where he must rescue, and serenade his true love, Rita MacNeil. Bob Dylan: 1996 Year in Review Bob mumbles through 1996... Bonus Sketch: CTV News with Lloyd Robertson Technically, not a musical sketch. But Lloyd does manage to belt out a few bars of his favourite opera. (And does a pretty good job of it for one of Canada's most trusted newscasters.)
Williams and Leibel - Olympics Recap: Williams and Leibel recaps the Canada hockey gold rush during the Olympics. Chicken Cannon News: The Chicken Cannon registers a perfect score with the Olympic figure skating judges and reports on Art Eggleton, Gordon Campbell, Ralph Klein, the profits of Royal Bank, Ontario PC leadership race and more. Sandie Rinaldo & French Judge: An interview with Sandie Rinaldo and the French Skating Judge. Olympic Moment - Ski Jump: Olympic security is tighter than a ski jumper's lycra inseam. Chrétien Trade Mission World Tour CD: This commercial promotes Jean Chretien's new world tour soundtrack. Olympic Moment - Goal Judge: The French Skating Judge is back as a Hockey Goal Judge behind the net of the Canadians. Off The Record: Michael Landsberg goes Off The Record with ex-spice girl - Geri Halliwell and the Zoom Zoom kid.
News From Away: Jimmy and Shamus report on Switzerland in the U.N., Chretien comments on Rock/Martin fight, Chretien in Australia, Anne Heche's baby, Prince Edward, pine beetle in British Columbia, Alberta teachers' strike, Guantanamo Baywatch, new cane for the blind, and the Canadian Alliance leadership race. Crocodile Hunter - Reptilicus Regina: The Crocodile Hunter comes nose to nose with the world's most dangerous species - British Royalty. Canadian Fear Factor: Gordon Campbell is the only one left and he must swallow some really disgusting things found in Canada. HAG Insurance: Insurance guarantees that a good husband is a dead husband. Videopinion: A response to the CBC Television Channel. Eggleton Grilled: Minster of Defense Art Eggleton explains he's a slow learner. Ma & Pa Crematorium: A creamtorium that provides an eternal flame to your loved one. Win Paul Martin's Money: 2 Political Figures and a Homeless Man battles for tax dollars from Paul Martin.
Chrétien News Conference: Chretien is interviewed about his visit to the White House. Local Report: Sexton and Drizzle talk about Canada's improving economy, Lake Ontario water rising, tax on feminine hygiene products, Canadian/American softwood lumber deal, St. Patrick's Day, New Canadian census, US prepares nuclear hit list, and a March break commentary. Stockwell Day Pitch: Stockwell Day gives his opinion on the other runners for the Alliance Party and explains that he would be the best leader. Mansbridge - Senior Citizen Driver: Peter Masbridge has a conversation with a 80-year-old senior about seniors driving on the streets. Confused Philosopher: The Confused Philosopher asks more of life's unanswerable questions. Beavertone News - Submarine Leak: A submarine commander discovers he's wet behind his ears, and his feet and his waist... Ralph Klein - Education: After going through rehab, Klein hits the topic of Education in Alberta. Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Men:
A Canadian Moment: Air Farce donut trio looks at Stephen Harper, Robert Mugabe, Gordon Campbell, Elvis Stojko retires, Caribou flavoured condoms, Nova Scotia nude beach, Shae-Lynne Bourne's top drops, and Ralph Klein. Arafat and Wilson: An interview between CBC Newsworld Host and Yasser Arafat. Mike Harris Swan Song: Ontario premier sings before he leaves the political world. Manley and Stout: John Manely who stares into space during his conversation with Stout. Member For Kicking Horse Pass: The latest update from Dave Broadfoot. Gaglianofather: Alfonso Gagliano defends his political career. Critic At Large: Academy Awards 2002: Critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me gives his insights and opinions on all of the important Oscars nominees.
Dave The Cabbie: Dave comments on a cleavage revealing lawyer, Ernie Eves, Michael J. Fox, Celine Dion's new CD, Air Canada gouges travel agents, cell phone drivers, back to school in Afghanistan, National Post proposal, and Dr. Scholl. Margaret Atwood's Tax Tips: Margaret Atwood's tax tips put the fun in refund. Ernie Eves Announcement: Blind Willy Feldman teams up with Ontario's new premier Ernie Eves - the blind leading the blind as they approach their new system and ideas of governing Ontario. Ron Bickel - New Inventions: Ron Bickel's reveal his latest inventions - The Chicken Chair & The Cat Cork. Trudeau Movie Promo: The commercial about the upcoming TV movie about Pierre Trudeau's life as a prime minister. CTV NewsNet: Harper & Sims: Stephen Harper, the new Canadian Alliance Leader explain on Newsnet about his upcoming plans for the party. Clark Movie Promo: Joe Clark's TV movie commercial which highlights his career in politics. A Moment With Stockwell Day: Stockw
Legal Dress Code: A judge mistakes the criminal code for the dress code. Lloyd Interviews Chrétien in Africa: Jean Chretien gets jungle fever in Africa. Videopinion: Taffi's ensemble of tunes for her insight on TV Violence. Wendy Report: Wendy discusses Pierre Trudeau mini-series, Jean Chrétien's new plane, Monarch Butterflies and Canada Customs, Queen Mom and Prince Harry, Yassar Arafat, daylight saving time, Canadian troops in Afghanistan, Jazz Air, and Airport security charge. Then she sits down with David Halton, Preston Manning, and Alanis Morrisette to discuss some other issues. Curmudgeon: New $5 Bill: The Canadian Mint's new five dollar bill has a curmudgeon peeved. Stephen Harper Interview: The new Alliance leader discovers not all interviews he does are about him Grumpy Old Politically Incorrect Women: Two Women converse about news around them while feeding pigeons.
News From Away - Opening: Jimmy & Shamus O'Toole ask the question, ""Air Travel - what's up with that?"" Air Travel: Jean Chrétien: Jean Chrétien's airline logic hits turbulence. A Long Line-up: Airport line-ups keep growing and growing. Air Travel: John Manley: John Manley tries to put a positive spin on Canada's airline industry. Pilots Locked In: A pilot learns never to drink six cups of coffee before entering a locked cockpit. Travel Agent: A lonely travel agent will do anything for some attention. Terrorist Detector: Canada's newest airport security detector is a real bang with passengers. Air Travel Quiz: The Jimmy and Shamus Air Travel quiz. Air Travel: Joe Clark: Joe Clark reminisces about Lester Pearson. Native People's Airlines: Air Flying Beavers - where the bingo dabbers and smokes are free. Air Travel: David Collenette: Transport Minister David Collenette gives Canada's airline industry the thumbs up. Westjet Board Meeting: Westjet employees are droppi
Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News reports on Colin Powell's meeting with Yassar Arafat, Survivor: West Bank, Saddam Hussein, Gordon Campbell, disco music in Afghanistan and more. Colin Mochrie takes an in-depth look at when the animal world attacks. Expos Fans: A couple of fans are home alone. New Look Newman: Newsworld overdoses on screen clutter and leaves Don Newman with the blahs. Abendigo & Colin Mochrie: Abendigo Winkler interviews improv master Colin Mochrie. Saturn Commercial: The world's most sensitive car salesman is pushed to his limit. Global Warming Restaurant Couple: A romantic dinner turns hot with talk of Global Warming. Java Gab: Java Joe pays lip service to the credit card companies. Chrétiens Return Home: Jean Chrétien visits Ottawa during his latest world tour. Larry King & The Bushes: Larry King gets a terrorist updates from Presidents George and Laura Bush. Health Watch Commercial: Growing old and watching Drug Store commercials can driv
-Bin Laden Song: Osama bin Laden sings and dances his way in and out of Canada. -Coach's Corner: Special guest Ron MacLean and Her Royal Majesty drop the gloves in Queen's Corner. -Bush - Iraq Update: George W. Bush wants to bomb Iraq while daughter Jenna just wants to get bombed. -Wendy Report: The Wendy Report examines John Manley's Monarchy comment, crop circles in England, Yassar Arafat, banned soft drinks in L.A. schools, shoe bomber Richard Reid, Solicitor General Lawrence MacAulay, same sex marriages in Alberta, Kyoto Accord and the world's funniest joke. -Stanron: Stan's new company leaves shareholders, locked, stocked and over a barrel. -From the Files of CSIS: CSIS agents flex and protect. -Quebec Man At Bar With Ami: Beer buddies like Pope J-2-P-2 ‘cause he's A-O-K. -Ebb & Flo - Drought: Cash strapped farmers sell celebrity vegetables. -Ozzy News: Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off the headlines. -Martha Stewart Living: Martha Stewart discovers insider trad
-Chicken Cannon News: Chicken Cannon News reports on Saddam Hussein re-election, TD bank CEO, Ontario government's fund for developmentally challenged groups, Chretien announces Canada war strategy, Jimmy Carter, French tanker gets bombed, Steven Spielberg, Prince Harry, Dr. Scholl's Toothpaste, Museum of Sex, Dr. Seuss theft and new bikini law. -Wilson & MacAulay: Solicitor General Lawrence MacAulay tackles his troubles, one scandal at a time. -Pizza Couple: Why frozen pizza tastes like takeout. -Saddam's Mistress: Saddam Hussein's mistress kisses and tells all, and has the mole to prove it. -Java Gab - Cable Bills: Java Joe gets his decaf low-fat mochaccino in a knot over his cable bill. -The Chrétien & The Copps: Jean Chretien and Sheila Copps plan the PM's legacy. -The New B.S.: Hip news anchors walk and talk, and stumble through the news. Topics covered – Queen's Jubilee, new Oxford dictionary words, NHL safety nets, British motorists, Popes chastity speech, Arnold S
-News From Away: Jimmy and Seamus O'Toole report on Liberals ethics package, Canadian wins Booker Prize, Laurence MacAulay, American sniper, Garth Drabinsky, North Korea builds nuclear bomb, Calgary Flames streaker, man sells body parts, Robin Williams entertains the troops, women gives birth do own granddaughter, Jetsgo, Russian McDonald's bombed, Ketchup Bandits, Rolling Stones, new Loblaws ventures and Preston Manning. -Burgermeister at Immigration: The Burgermeister, Germany's number one children's entertainer, immigrates to Canada. -Sister Lucille Part 1: Sister Lucille unleashes her opinionated whip at Solicitor General Laurence MaCaulay. -Saddam & Weapons Inspector: Saddam Hussein welcomes a U.N. Inspector with open nuclear arms. -Sister Lucille Part 2: Sister Lucille unleashes her opinionated whip at George W. Bush. -Dylan & Springsteen: Bob Dylan & Bruce Springsteen's new CD captures rock's greatest mumblers. -Kyoto Panel: A panel of environmentally challenged g
-Tim Horton's Commercial - Stubby: A Tim Horton's commercial reveals the secret behind flooding the ice. -Chrétien's Vacation Commercial: Canada's newest vacation destination: Club Fed Grande-Mere. -McDonald's Baby Bouchard: Lucien Bouchard demonstrates that he has a way with children. -Stumpy Tom Sings The Inbred Song: Stumpy Tom is ""inbred and worry free.... just like the Royal family"" -Canoeing Beer Ad: Coureurs de bois paddle boat and peddle beer. -Queen Speaks Out: Queen Elizabeth chronicles her family's history in her new book, ""Hot, Horny and Inbred"". -Bob Dylan For mbanx: Canada's big banks hop on the boomer song bandwagon with Bob Dylan. -Mike Applies To MENSA: Mike from Canmore applies to MENSA. -Nation's Business: Manning: Preston Manning cruises into Stornoway for the Risky Business of Reform 'n Roll! -Macintosh Marriage: A Scottish lad from the McIntosh clan discovers the wife he has chosen is incompatible.
-Chrétien Board Game: Jean Chretien's new board game – where ever square is ""Screw Paul Martin."" -Local Report: A vain local news anchor and his co-host target the headlines and each other. -Charlton Heston NRA: Charlton Heston takes a shot at explaining why guns are good. -CNN Videophone: CNN's Aaron Brown discovers the videophone is all that its cracked up to be. -Taffi - Racial Profiling: Taffi raps about racial profiling. -Manley at the Bank: John Manley's bank plans encounter merger-interruptus. -Donut Shop: Air Farce donut trio looks at Remembrance Day, U.S. mid-term elections, Rohinton Mistry, Americans want to fingerprint Canadians at the border, Pat Buchanan, Dame Edna, Winona Ryder and Toronto Dominion Bank.
-BBC Interviews Queen: The Queen explains why the butler did it. -Cabbie: Dave the cabbie rants about Osama bin Laden, Ontario Hydro, Harry Potter, an invisible Iranian bank robber, Gordon Lightfoot, Celine Dion, Shania Twain, Colin Powell, and Martha Stewart. -Winona Ryder: Shopping Channel: On the Winona Ryder Shopping Channel merchandise is a steal. -Billy Two Willies: Television: Television surfing leaves Billy 2 Willies drowning in disappointment. -U.S. Border Guards: U.S. border guards screen visitors along the U.S. – Canada border. -Football Stadium Marriage Proposal: Popping the question ""plane"" style. -Bush Skeet Shooting: President Bush's Iraq attack is one skeet short of a full load. -The Fat Show: An image conscious talk show host chews the fat with a weight doctor. -Kyoto Commercial: Anti-Kyoto forces state their case.
-Channel 10 Report: Anchors Kyle and Meagan report on the Canadian Olympic committee plans for gold in Vancouver 2010, new bridge between Detroit and Windsor, Eastern Canada snowstorm, new baseball steroid plan, Paris Hilton, book of bin Laden Interviews. -Missing Link Animation: The discovery of the missing evolutionary link. -Wacky Wanda: Wacky Wanda's fine art sale. -The Weather Network: Earthquake Report: Scientist encounters a quake of size-mo-gasmic proportions. -Lotto 649 Commercial: After trying to do something nice for their kids, a cottage couple learn they have lost the generic lottery. -Iraq Election Advance Coverage: Iraqi coverage of the Iraqi election. -Todd Bertuzzi Animation: NASA takes aim at destroying a comet with the help of Todd Bertuzzi. -Parent Hockey Rage: Dealing with the outbreak of parental hockey rage. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Canada 's national defence department, Toronto – cultural capital, new Ukraine pr
-What's News: Anchors Kyle and Meagan report on Canadian Olympic committee plan for gold in 2010, new bridge between Detroit and Windsor, Eastern Canada snowstorm, new baseball steroid plan, Paris Hilton, book of bin Laden Interviews. -Dar Heatherington: Dar Heatherington keeps us up to date on what is happening in her life. -Look, Learn & Listen: Liberals demand northerners must register their canoes. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Actress: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me's Oscar chick picks. -Aspirin Commercial: Commercial for the new extra strength spontaneous combustion aspirins. -Canadian Moment Part 01: Air Farce's donut shop talk about George Bush's state of union address, Condoleeza Rice, casinos on Air Canada. -Bill O'Reilly Animation: Fox loudmouth Bill O'Reilly is in over his head when he slags the CBC. -House Of Commons Security: Anne McLellan deals with a House of Commons security guard. -Superbowl Auditions Animation: Halftime auditions for the Super Bowl. -Alan
-Gomery Commission: Chrétien: John Gomery probes Jean Chrétien. -Thank You News: Anchors Joan Manners and Donna Pleasance look at Prince Charles & Camilla, Iraqi coloured finger system, General Rick Hillier, Defense Minister Bill Graham, B.C. Beaver Fever, Saskatchewan wants same treatment as Newfoundland, new bat stroke remedy, Pit-bull owners. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Actor: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me all-male movie review. -Speed Network News: The fastest newscast anywhere reports on Quebec liquor strike over, Edmonton Police fire chief, U.S. opens border to Canadian cattle, Condoleezza Rice, Ontario trillium, Happy Days reunion, alcohol harmful as cigarettes, Queer Beer, Gomery comment, Gummy Bear implants, new Crest toothpaste, Neilson ratings. -Lie Detector Commercial: Beauty cream tells no lies. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park targets Winnipeg police video taping John's, SkyDome new name, Sydney tar ponds, B.C. government targets beaver fever, Super bo
-Coach's Corner: 7 Second Delay: Coach's Corner's new seven second delay. -Hockey Withdrawal: A woman attempts to bring her husband out of a comatose state brought on by the hockey strike. -Jody Vance & Mario Lemieux: Sportsnet's Jody Vance talks NHL lockout with Mario Lemieux. -Bettman/Goodenow Animation: Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow rap about the NHL strike. -Guy Lafleur Commercial: Aging hockey star deals with Erectile Dysfunction. -Joke Compilation # 1: What the lockout means to the Toronto Maple Leafs, discovery of an 1834 hockey painting suggests the sport may have originated in the U.S., Todd Bertuzzi. -That's Hockey: Haley Wickenheiser: Haley Wickenheiser proves she's man enough to play with the ladies. -Bettman/Goodenow: Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow go tongue to tongue. -National Anthem: American National Anthem sung to a different tune. -Postal Strike: NHL players take a shot a delivering the mail. -Joke Compilation # 2: Midget hockey league tests play
-Dave The Cabbie: Dave the Cabbie rants about Ralph Goodale, Paul Martin not signing missile defense, Paul Martin sending 30 soldiers to Iraq, NHL'er Steve Moore sues Todd Bertuzzi, Famous Players theatres, monarch butterflies - Insurance company profits, B.C. polygamists, Adrienne Clarkson. -Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me: Best Picture: Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me makes his Best Picture choice. -Adrienne Clarkson At Rideau Hall: Security guard Arden Gardner keeps Adrienne Clarkson safe from a tour of students. -Sister Bessie: Gomery Inquiry: Sister Bessie targets the Gomery Inquiry. -George Stroumboloupolous & Ralph Goodale: George Stroumboulopoulos crunches numbers with Finance Minister Ralph Goodale. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Gomery, Defense Minister Bill Graham, WalMart, antidepressants, study on yawning, Hutterites, Charles upcoming marriage to Camilla. -What's News The What's News team reports on Paul Martin as ""Mr. Dithers"", Charles & Camilla, J
-Craig Oliver's 3-Way: Craig Oliver, John Ralston Saul, Nick the Greek and Kalan Porter talk about Condoleezza Rice, Dalton McGuinty, farmers circle Queen's Park, Tutankhamun, Greeks – archeology, Scott Tournament of Hearts, capture of Saddam's half brother. -Charles & Camilla Plan Wedding: Charles & Camilla plan their wedding. -CBC Sports Centre: Terry Leibel: Cutbacks and firings leaves CBC sportscaster Terry Leibel holding down the fort. -Knob Of The Week: City council of Iqaluit gets crowned – Knob of the Week. -Paul Martin: Mr Dithers: Paul Martin explains his stance on missile defense. -NHL Lockout Video: Video that sums up the NHL lockout. -Newz Rapp: Rappers Feminem and Ice Berg report on George Bush, Nobel Peace Price, Missile Shield, Vancouver Winter Olympics, Michael Jackson. -Alan Park: Not The Official Story: Alan Park talks about Tournaments of Hearts winner, defaced nude statue in Penticton BC, improving railroads and highways in Northeaster Canada the St
-Paul Martin's Texas hoedown: Night of the Living Harper -New Airline: Stansgo -Peter Mansbridge's Piano Bar newscast. -Kirsty Alley talks about her new show, Fat Actress
-Canadian Moment: Charles and Camilla’s upcoming wedding is the hot topic in the donut shop. -Dakota Commercial: Native pitchman Floyd Red Crow Westerman sells his new product “Dakota Beavers-In-Your-Pants Pain Relieverâ€. -CBC News Today: Kyoto Protocol Kyoto discussion leaves the panel feeling all hot and bothered. -Newman News: Don Newman talks about Radio Shack, police in Winnipeg, pine beetles, alcohol and gas price expected to rise this summer, Swiss plan to stop glaciers, police find drug dealers building a submarine, Toronto Blue Jays, woman finds finger in her chili, Addidas unveils new “smart shoeâ€. -Sister Bessie: Sandie Rinaldo speaks to security guard at the Parthenon about a Canadian student charge with picking up a piece of marble. -Sandie & Nick: Sister Bessie talks about Paul Martin’s minority government. -Funeral For Bubba The Lobster: Jay Ingram interviews a SARS virus. -Daily Planet: SARS: A priest eulogizes an old lobster. -French Comic: A French c
"Fast, fierce and funny." praised the critics and the viewers as Royal Canadian Air Farce Wrapped up it's 2005 season on CBC television.
Here's the 2006 edition of Royal Canadian Air Farce: Alan, Craig, Don, Jessica, Luba and Roger - Together, they're fearless and funny, taking on the high and mighty and bringing them down to earth - or just coming up with goofy ideas and smart lines about anything that's topical.
The gang is back for another season of the Air Farce starting Friday, October 6th at 8pm local time! This week: Tie & Belinda; Liberal leadership race; Mel Gibson's comments; and more!
Kim Jong’s nuke rebuke; Maher Arar gets YouTubed; Blackberry inventor & Mario Lemieux have a communication breakdown; Rona Ambrose gets choked up over the environment.
Liberal leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff answers voters' questions. President Bush gives an address about North Korea's nuclear tests. A Liberal and a Conservative parody the "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" commercials. Etalk interviews Barbara Streisand. From the creators of Deadwood comes a new drama, Softwood. 790 AM Almost News Radio does a newscast (almost). Liberal/PC commercial #2. Farmers Ed and Flo lobby the government about ethanol and other alternative sources of energy. Space News reports on a very inconvenient space station problem. The Hour with George Strombopoulos. Larry King Celebrity Poker with Joan Rivers, Clint Eastwood and Christopher Lloyd. Driving With Alan Park. Liberal leadership candidate Bob Rae answers voters' questions. Action News. Luba Goy talks about relaxing in her garden, although everyone has a different definition of what relaxing means. Liberal/PC commercial #3.
Peter MacKay apologizes to Belinda Stronach, or rather he tries to, sort of. Craig Oliver's 3-Way with Jack Layton, Daniel Cook and the Cheese Lady. Madonna stars in a new horror movie, The Baby Snatcher. Parliamentary Update with Sister Bessie. Chantal Hebert interviews an uncooperative Stephen Harper. Liberal leadership candidate Ken Dryden answers voters' questions. Japan sends Godzilla after Kim Jong-Il. Rona Ambrose sings about the Clean Air Act; she's really the leader of the environment pack. Britney Spears takes Kevin Federline job-hunting. Sportscap on Bravo Television. Conrad Black's new movie, Amiel Antoinette. Liberal leadership candidate Gerard Kennedy answers voters' questions.
Flaherty Income Trust Finance Minister Jim Flaherty talks about income trust. Phoneless Phone New form of wireless technology. Dave The Cabbie Dave the Cabbie talks about Scott Brison, Mark Foley, North Korea, Canada Post refusal to deliver hate mail, finger in Subway sandwich, Joe Volpe, St. Louis Cardinals, Kangaroo meat, infertility/cellphone, Wal-Mart, Buckingham Palace, California/Mexico border, sex with dog. A People's History: Bingo CBC’s latest ratings hit - A People’s History of Bingo. Ad Absurdum Commentary on commercials that people love to hate. Womb To Grow Yoga Guru takes you through a pre-natal yoga exercises. Stockwell Day: No Fly List Stockwell Day introduces Canada’s new “no-fly” list. Dog Day In Parliament Matching up MP’s with their doggy look-a-likes. Telemarketers Revenge A guy seeks revenge on a telemarketer. Harper Holiday Inn Stephen Harper enjoys the comforts of a Holiday Inn. Driving With Alan Park Alan Park speaks about Belinda Stronach, Rona Ambrose, Kim Jong Il, and Mel Gibson. He Said She Said: Communication A discussion of daycare turns to global warming. Cop Cam: Wilbert Cop encounters the joys of a taser.Ask A Liberal: Ignatieff Liberal leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff answers questions from Canadians
Donut Shop Donut shopper talk about Remembrance Day poppies, troops in Afghanistan/Sea King helicopters, KFC/Transfats, Danish cartoonist, Marmaduke, Bloc Quebecois in by-election, teens coffee drinking habits, Hubble telescope. Bush: Rumsfeld Resignation George Bush announces the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld. Cop Cam: Blind Driver Cop pulls over a blind driver. Osamalot A theatrical look at the life and times of Osama bin Laden. Alberta Agriculture Alberta agriculture spokes unveils the Bowl Disrupter. Harper's Dine Out While at a restaurant, Stephen Harper and wife discover same sex marriage is on the menu. Ask A Liberal: Dryden/Kennedy/Rae Liberal leadership candidates Ken Dryden, Gerard Kennedy and Bob Rae answer questions from Canadians. Eye On: Forecasting Fear The FBI finds almanacs the latest threat to national security. Anti Thong Animation Jean Charest passes new bill to help with Quebec’s obesity problem. Website Billionaires Teenage Website billionaires reveal their secret to success. Dyer Report Gwynne Dyer discusses the beefing up Canada/US border. Limbaugh Justice Animation The justice gavel catches up with Rush Limbaugh after he makes crude comments about Michael J. Fox’s Parkinson’s disease. Deja Jew New Channel Promo New Digital channel - Deja Jew.Uke Comments: Ignatieff An angry Ukrainian is upset with Liberal leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff.
Inside Sports: Grey Cup 2006 Vic Taber interviews CFL Goodwill Ambassador Cueball Carter about the Grey Cup. Dion Appeal Liberal leadership candidate Stephane Dion comments on his fellow leadership hopefuls pension to pose nude. Rumsfeld New comedy show about nothing - “Rumsfeld”. Newman News Don Newman along with Bev Oda, John Baird and Melissa the Fast Food Server talk about new gun bill/Snoop Dogg, syringe in ham, Jack Layton calls Stephen Harper a “chicken”, Norway best place to live, Sundance Film festival, Stephen Harper in China. Drug Checkstop Cop pulls over women he suspects of being under the influence of narcotics. The Trans Fat Chef The Trans Fat Chef cooks up a dish that’s to die for. Larry King: McCartney Divorce Larry King interviews Paul McCartney about his pending divorce. World Watch Video look at Fidel Castro, Saddam Hussein and North Korean ambassador. Energy News Energy News team look at Canada’s military commitment to Afghanistan, American mid-term elections, Giller Prize, planet Mercury passes by the Sun, Don Cherry booed in Parliament, Ontario Lottery and Gaming introduces tough new security measure, cigarette packages. Klein Animation Action News exposes Ralph Klein and his “boner” comment. Bush Election Aftermath The Bush twins help their dad deal with the mid-term election results.
BC Weather Disaster Peter Mansbridge investigates the damage rainstorms are causing in British Columbia. Stroumbo & Hall Findlay George Stroumboulopoulos speaks with Liberal Leadership candidate Martha Hall Findlay.Flaherty Finance Minister Jim Flaherty speaks about Stephen Harper’s gag order. iPod Envy While in a gym a guy encounters iPod envy. Vic Toews Crime Time Justice Minister Vic Toews looks at different gun crime trends in each of the ten provinces. Pelosi Speaks Newly appointed Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi outlines her agenda. OJ Story Newsworld anchor talks to Marcia Clarke about OJ’s new book. Cop Cam Scuba Cop pulls over a scuba diver. Ambrose Award Rona Ambrose accepts her “Fossil of the Day” award. Dave The Cabbie Dave the Cabbie talks about Playstation Three, wild beavers at University of Waterloo, Mick Jagger’s dad dies, General in Africa, U.S. lifts ban on silicone implants, woman sues because not allowed to breast feed on plane. TomKat Animation Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes celebrate their honeymoon in Italy.Harper's Blog Stephen Harper makes his latest entry in his blog.
Donut Shop Donut shop gang talk Quebec as a Nation, Bloc Quebecois, other “Nations” within Canada, Ralph Klein, movie about gay hockey player. Professor Ick Neanderthal Professor Ramona Ick investigates a bone from a 38 thousand year old Neanderthal man. Russian Spy Animation Everything a Russian spy needs to survive in Canada. Harper NATO Summit 2006 Stephen Harper along with George Bush and Tony Blair meet at the NATO Summit 2006. Jack The Ripper Unveiled Scotland Yard unveils a new composite drawing of Jack the Ripper. Five Dollar Bill Animation The new $5 bill incorporates anti-counterfiting measures. Vodcast: Papal Celibacy Summit Report on the Pope’s summit on the topic of celibacy for priests.Martha Dearest New film starring Martha Stewart and her daughter Alexis. Liberal Leadership Idol Ben Mulroney host Liberal Leadership Idol with Stephane Dion, Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae. Hebert & Fraser Auditor General Sheila Frasier releases her annual report on the Federal Government spending habits.Castro Not Dead Yet A look at the unstable conditions in Cuba.
Newman Liberal Interview Don Newman speaks with Stephane Dion. Rod Black / Michael Jackson Rod Black talks to Michael Jackson about his appearance on the World Music Award. PM Antiques Animation Items from former Prime Ministers are put on the auction block. eBay Brothers Christmas The eBay Brothers peddle their Christmas merchandise. Holmes for the Holidays Jessica and her husband discuss how they plan to celebrate Christmas with their new baby. The Robertson Factor Lloyd Robertson, along with Margaret Atwood and Michael Ignatieff talk about resignation of Guilliano Zaccardelli, closure of Status of Women Colin Thatcher, Garth Turner, new Alberta premiere - Ed Stelmach, Pam Anderson divorce, Russian spy/polonium, Vladimir Putin, Michael Richards, Spam emails. Coronation Street Christmas Promo for new Coronation Street Christmas special. Extended Warranties Wilbert the pushy TV salesman won’t let up on his customer until they agree to get the extended warranty.Growing Investment Op A pair of women prepare for their future by investing in marijuana grow-ops. New CBC Promo In an effort to attract more viewers CBC has come out with a new promo with a George Stroumboulopoulos feel.Santa Rap Santa shoots a rap video to help update his image.
Join us for our annual one hour New Year's Eve Special: 2006 Year of the Farce with special guests George Stroumboulopoulos, Evan Solomon and Gill Deacon. On the show: Chicken Cannon Target of the Year; In Clement Health with Tony Clement; Driving with Alan Park; Stephen Harper's New Year's greetings; and much more!
Peter Mansbridge interviews the sextuplets from British Columbia. Gill Deacon interviews Environment Minister John Baird. Ad for the new film The Good German Shepherd. Murhpy's Law with Rex Murphy. Myriam Bedard starts a new US Adventure Tour (daughter not included). Dealing with airport security. Great Canadian inventions. Ad Absurdum. Driving with Alan Park. Liquidation Larry's Calendar Clear-Out sale. Craig Oliver's Three-Way with Jack Layton, Bev Ota and Wajid Khan.
Ottawa Heat with Stephen Harper and Stephane Dion. CBC gets a mosque makeover after the success of "Little Mosque On The Prairie." Nancy Grace talks about Iraq with Nancy Pelosi. Medical Update on the bird flu. Labatt's advertises its new cologne. Jay Ingram talks to a climatologist. Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump are blamed for environmental problems. Dyer Report with Gwynne Dyer. Miss Potter: The Sequel. Canada AM with Jeff Hutcheson, who interviews Paula Abdul and Danny DeVito. Dave The Cabbie. A dangerous religious billboard. Positively Precise with Andrew Raymond Stickler.
Travel advertisement for "beautiful and dangerous Mexico." Wajid Khan's Middle East report, entitled "Khan Job." Dubya talks security and explains how to spot a Canadian at the border. Sneak preview of the NHL's new form-fitting uniforms. News from Away with Jimmy and Seamus O'Toole. Kyle and Wendy have a romantic dinner at Hooters. Linda Sims discusses huge buyouts for CEOs. The latest board game is the Parliamentary Blame Game.
Parliament resumes; John Baird resumes interrupting other peoples' speeches. Stephane Dion gets attacked in television ads. A lady in a restaurant talks about rodents and Groundhog Day. A Canadian Moment. Colleen Jones reports on the upcoming Super Bowl. World Watch reports on Jack Layton. Stephane Dion gets attacked again. Air Farce FAQ with Gordon Lightfoot's musical accompaniment. Yet another attack on Stephane Dion. CTV News with Sandi Renaldo. An animation called Conservative Fighter, featuring Jack Layton. Driving with Alan Park. Ad for the Party Swingers - very erotic. Ad for the new iPhone.
Stephen Harper works on his blog. Hillary Clinton campaigns for the presidency and Bill helps. Newman News with Don "Blah Blah Blah" Newman. Critic at Large with Gilbert Smythe-Bite Me. The hazards of Breathalyzers that don't work. Bridezilla exposed. Bill Gates launches Windows Vista. MuchOnDemand with Michael Buble and the Cheese Lady. Jack Layton complains about ATM service charges and then meets a very user-unfriendly ATM. A woman talks about what women don't like to get for Valentine's Day.
The Royal Canadian Mint introduces new commemorative board games; the first is House of Commons Chess. Astronaut Lisa Nowak gets a new endorsement deal. The Confused Philosopher. The National with Peter Mansbridge at a piano. A guy in line at the bank can't get away from annoying people on cell phones. A police officer pulls a guy over for watching a movie and eating popcorn while driving. Stephane Dion welcomes turncoat MP Garth Turner to the Liberal party. ING Bank animation. A guy needs an intervention after becoming addicted to his backyard ice rink. The hit TV show "House" gets a new spinoff called "House, MP." Gilbert Smythe-Bite Me discusses the Oscar nominees for Best Actress. Driving with Alan Park.
Critic at large; Gilbert Smythe-Bite Me talks about the Oscar nominees for Best Picture. Bloomberg Hughes introduces the Christian Debt Trust Company. Health Minister Tony Clement goes to the gym. Hockey player Doug Bradford films a promo for a television station, but he can't stick to the script and he seems to think he's Sidney Crosby. Kevin Newman talks about global warming with Stephen Harper's assistant. The new million-dollar coin and which Canadian millionaire might be on it. Office worker Jenkins gets a new Easy Button. Mike Duffy Live with the leader of the Green Party. TV's suspenseful drama "Psychic Emergency Doctor Cops." All about Tritium. A woman picks up her Employment Insurance and talks about her various anxieties.
Newly-bald Britney Spears can't decide whether to stay in rehab or check out. Politics with Don "Blah Blah Blah" Newman, who talks to Justin Trudeau. Al Gore faces a recount at the Oscars. Feng Shui with Master Irene. Dave the Cabbie talks about James Cameron, the upcoming Quebec election, the Canada Winter Games, Stephen Harper's apologies, Fox's new game show, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Health concerns at Coffee Time Donuts. Ad Absurdum. Sister Bessie talks about the environment. News on the Hour with Kevin Strumpel, who talks to Prince Harry.
Jeff Foxworthy's new game show, Are You Smarter Than A Cat? A big oil company starts some fires at refineries because they need more money. Nancy Grace talks to George W. Bush and his wife Laura. A line-up to identify the Picasso thief. David Suzuki recaps his latest trip and introduces his new game, Suzoku. A Canadian Moment at the donut shop. The CIA investigates new JFK motorcade footage. Jay Ingram talks to Ramona Ick about the decreasing honeybee population. The Cuban news reports that Fidel Castro is feeling not so dead lately. Air Farce FAQ. Jack Layton holds a press conference.
An urgent message from the Canada Revenue Agency about their recent computer glitches. Tonight on Jeopardy!, it's the crazy world leaders edition with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Hugo Chavez and Kim Jong-Il. Liberal versus PC commercial. Jim Flaherty talks to Chantal Hebert about the upcoming budget. Liquidation Larry's St. Patrick's Day clearout sale. Craig Oliver's Three-Way with Bev Ota, naked Bob Rae and Sleep Country's Christine McGee. Alan Park talks about Conservative Accountability Credibility Deficit Disorder. Stephen Harper uses his MySpace page for character assassinations. Don Ferguson talks about Hollywood mug shots. Another Liberal versus PC commercial.
Special live episode.
The season premiere, live and in HD.
Stephane Dion tries to have a party with his fellow Liberals, but Stephen Harper shows up instead, and they do a dance and sing about having a party shuffle. Commercial for Biological Clock-Block, a helpful product for women who are obsessed with babies. Global Maritimes does their six o'clock newscast, but funding cuts make it difficult. A couple goes cross-border shopping, but they have problems when they try to get through Customs without paying any taxes. A kid stays out late to protest injustices in Myanmar, but his parents aren't sympathetic. A guy meets a panhandler who takes Visa and also takes his job. The "Life and Mimes" of Marcel Marceau. Tony Clement talks about toughening drug laws.
Don Ferguson talks about Justin Trudeau's new baby and the new Trump Tower. Stephen Harper presents a controversial new government document called "Strong Leadership: Destroying Dion." The show "E Talk" interviews Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Former Prime Minister Jean Chretien does an interview about his new book. Al Gore introduces some new "inconvenient truths" that he has learned. A news editor talks about Stephen Harper's Throne Speech and the reactions from the Opposition. Some guys hang out at the lake and skip stones, then are embarrassed when a girl beats them at it. A junk food dealer sells contraband foods at school and gets busted. Topical Toons presents Belinda Stronach's swan song. Alan Park talks about B.C. Ferries, racial profiling in the Maher Arar case, Aung San Suu Kyi becoming an honourary Canadian citizen, seal hunt protesters, Oral Roberts' son in an ethical scandal, Vladimir Putin visiting Iran, and other stories.
Jessica Holmes talks about Maher Arar and concerns over air pollution at the 2008 Olympics. The high Canadian dollar causes problems for an American woman shopping at a Canadian bookstore. Governor Schwarzenegger helps with California wildfire relief. Stephane Dion's totally unstaged photo in the Toronto Star. A fun new Cold War-style board game called Arctic Sovereignty. Former astronaut Marc Garneau gets ready to run as a Liberal candidate. Topical Toons presents "Halloween On Parliament Hill." WestJet employees put on a show for their passengers. A commercial for Canadian banks; they don't do anything for free, and they're not very polite either. People chat about various news stories while waiting in an endless grocery store line. A couple doesn't want their son to dress up as Dumbledore for Halloween. Roger Abbott talks about rising taxes in Toronto, Paris Hilton wanting to be cryogenically frozen, and how many cross-border-shopping days are left until Christmas.
Jessica Holmes talks about the high dollar, the death of an inventor, and the approval ratings of political party leaders. Stephen Harper meets with the Dalai Lama. Queen Elizabeth talks about the blackmail tape allegedly involving the royal family. The USA has the "Colbert Report," now Canada has the "Wilbert Report." An American Chrysler saleswoman isn't allowed to sell cars to Canadians, so her Canadian customer tries to conceal his national identity. Jim Flaherty discusses his mini-budget. The Hamilton Tigercats coach gives a press conference and tries not to get fired. A guy looks for his suitcase at an airport and tries not to get Tasered. A woman wearing a veil complains about the government not wanting her to vote while wearing a veil. Two guys sit on the roof and look at the stars, then get a very close look at a comet. Don Ferguson and Jessica Holmes talk about Hurricane Noel, a dead hippo, and other stories.
Craig Lauzon talks about the handsome audience, the high Canadian dollar, and Stephane Dion. Hillary and Bill Clinton discuss Hillary's presidential campaign. The creators of Entourage present their new show, Diontourage. Frank D'Angelo gets a new show called D'Angelo's Den, where entrepreneurs try to get money from him. The Department of Homeland Security does a video about the United States that borrows Canadian features such as Niagara Falls and Canadian Tire. Alan Park talks about a Canadian figure skater, weather problems in Mexico, a poll about Canada's involvement in Afghanistan, and other stories. Dog the Bounty Hunter argues with a CTV executive. A guy argues with a tree that has PMS - Post Maple Syndrome. An inspector visits the Bombardier Aerospace plant looking for unsafe aircraft. A soldier brings his son to Afghanistan on Take Your Kids To Work Day. Roger Abbott and Luba Goy talk about Saskatchewan's provincial election, Dick Cheney getting Peru confused with Venezuela, the turmoil in Pakistan, and other stories.
Jessica Holmes thanks the viewers for their compliments on the show's new live format, then the following popular sketches from this season are replayed: Al Gore's new inconvenient truths. A Canadian pretends to be American so he can buy a car in the US. Two guys hang out at the lake and skip stones, then a girl comes along who's better at it. Perky WestJet flight attendants. A teenager's parents lecture him after he stays out late at a Free Burma protest. A guy loses his spare change and his job to a panhandler. A newscaster critiques Stephen Harper's Throne Speech. E Talk interviews Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Some guys look at the stars and get an extremely close look at a comet.
Roger Abbott welcomes everyone and talks about the Grey Cup. Celine Dion explains why she won't be performing in Halifax next summer, complete with a song and floating bubbles. Holly Horton reports on the Grey Cup and gets up close and personal with some CFL players. Ottawa Report discusses Brian Mulroney and Karlheinz Schreiber, only the legal department doesn't want them to name names. Hockey Night In Canada discusses the controversy over a Czech hockey player posting naked pictures on the Internet. A worker decides not to join in the office lottery pool, much to his later regret. Alan Park talks about Canadians getting paid for Olympic medals, cloning, a pipeline explosion in Saudi Arabia, a proposed ban on Tasers, c. difficile treatment, the death of Mr. Whipple, and a scientific experiment involving hair colour. A woman shops for a T-shirt and is overwhelmed by all the choices. The Alberta Nanny enforces the smoking ban and lectures people for having bad manners. A news editor discusses the Hollywood writers' strike and how we can still rely on Canadian television to entertain us. Penelope Corrin wraps up the week's news in "This Just In."
Tonight's episode is brought to you by Karlheinz ketchup; it's good for sweetening deals. Stephane Dion prepares for a romantic evening with the Liberal caucus. President Pervez Musharraf discusses the state of emergency in Pakistan. A man regrets having his football-crazed brother visit during Grey Cup Week. A woman raves about her amazing anti-aging cream, then her husband drinks it and turns into a five-year-old. Karlheinz Schreiber testifies in song at a hearing. A news report about legal problems resulting from teddy bear names, the Vancouver Olympic mascots, hospital death rates, Middle East peace negotiations, Scotland's new airport slogan, and Australia's new Environment Minister. A woman deals with her hyperactive daughter at a Santa Claus parade. The Conservative Party continues to attack Stephane Dion in ads. American Customs agents guard the border against threats like fire engines and ambulances. Alan Park and Luba Goy discuss the hostage situation at Hillary Clinton's campaign office and bottled water for pets.
Guest star Megan Follows helps introduce the show. Hugo Chavez and Vladimir Putin talk on the phone. Prison Break features a special appearance by Conrad Black. A Golden Compass premiere gets interrupted by a religious fanatic. Ad for "Sticks and Stones: The Schoolyard Bully's Songbook." Alan Park talks about Hillary Clinton's new background music, the Labor Minister's financial controversies, John McEnroe, a drug that simulates the effects of exercise, a cat with a jar on its head, the safety of Tasers, and other stories. A woman tries to decorate for Christmas but she can't find the "thingies." Margaret Atwood, Barbara Amiel, Avril Lavigne and Sue Johanson host "The Canadian View." Co-workers try to recover after the office Christmas party. Commercial for eBribe, a great online service for sleazy political figures. Commercial for Monopoly: Identity Theft Edition. This Just In features a new Hanukkah song about candles. Colonel Stacy promotes the New Year's Eve special and Megan Follows promotes her new movie.
Coming soon.
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Last regular show
Roger Abbott was a pioneer in Canadian Comedy and will be remembered for his work on the much loved Royal Canadian Air Farce of which he was a founding member and producer. Over the years, he was honoured with numerous awards for his work, including 15 ACTRA awards, a Juno, the Governor General's Performing Arts Award and a star on Canada's Walk of Fame. This special highlights some of Roger's most memorable moments on Air Farce. A master of impersonation and comedic characters, his work covered former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, CBC chief correspondent Peter Mansbridge, singer Leonard Cohen and the misogynist TV critic Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me.