I've always felt guilty about these things. Maybe that's why I didn't mind playing a repetitive game because at least it didn't hurt me. But now, I'm starting to remember, and even though it's painful, I feel like I'm getting closure. I have a lot of regret about this, and it's hurting me. But maybe it wasn't my fault. It's tough because I always felt like it was my fault, and I always felt like it wasn't right that I didn't go through that, that I had it easier in some way.