Today’s forecast predicts a heavy downpour of sewing machine mishaps, zipper malfunctions, and a strong chance of Ru's outsize expectations. Expect gusts of flimsy excuses sweeping in from the west, as poorly constructed gowns struggle to hold their structural integrity. A cold front of judges’ side-eye will move in by runway time, dropping both temperatures and morale. Listeners should prepare for a full-blown storm of admonishments, expletives, and ultra-dramatic pauses, interspersed by the occasional sunny break of unearned confidence.