We're serious, this is dangerous stuff -- don't try this!
Brian and Jason use the Taco Bell app to re-engineer their popular foods at a cheaper price.
Brian and Jason talk about the ins and outs of burner phones. Don’t get burned by using these hot tips that’ll heat up your already fire communication game. ????
Brian and Jason craft homemade gas masks out of readily-available materials, and put them to the test against the Fox Five Point Three tactical pepper spray grenades.
Brian and Jason got a shipment of chemicals that could be used for pranks, not that we recommend that. The effects range from the worst of smells, to discoloration, to powder that'll stop you in your tracks.
The Alfredo Boys are at it again, learning how to crack whips with the help of John "THE WHIP" Maverick. They go over how whipcracking works, the origins of it as a stage performance, and technique for actually doing it. Be warned though, whips hurt and Jason can attest to that. Don't hurt yourself or others.
Brian and Jason take a generic disposable camera with a flash, rip it open and convert it into a taser. Sincerely: don't do this. We hope you're entertained by our idiocy, but electricity is nothing to be played with. You can seriously injure or even kill yourself. Please be responsible, since we'd like to keep making this series
Brian and Jason heard that "prison spears" are a thing, so they attempt to make one using only newspaper, a pillowcase, and a kitchen spoon. WARNING: Do not attempt. Dangerous weapons are dangerous. No. Seriously. This is a weapon. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. Or in prison. Or in the produce section. Sure, that melon had it coming, but you should be more forgiving than Brian and Jason. Newspapers are for reading and sometimes for lining your bird's cage. DO NOT MAKE STABBY THINGS.
Brian and Jason set out on a journey of self-discovery by forcing their brains to make sense of the chaos that is their lives, or something. It's the Ganzfeld effect! If you're asking yourself if you should have your eyes open or closed, well rest assured you will need them open. Go ahead, try this at home! Finally, this episode isn't about dangerous illegal weapons. (Although in some ways, your brain is the most dangerous weapon of them all.)
Jason's always wanted to learn how to use a butterfly knife, and it just so happens Brian has used one for years. So Brian walks Jason step by step through a basic flip open and close. BE SAFE AND ALSO DON'T DO ILLEGAL THINGS. Seriously, there are a bunch of varied regional laws concerning butterfly knives in particular. Don't play with knives and always leave a note.
Brian and Jason learn the truth behind "shaken not stirred," and then get some help to make Esquire's favorite martini.
Using just granulated sugar and potassium nitrate, Brian and Jason make a smoke bomb potent enough to flood the garage. Please do not attempt. Or if you do, make sure it's under supervision of a pro, and with proper safety precautions.
Brian and Jason remotely transmit photos over a set of walkie talkies utilizing narrowband technology from the 1950s.
Brian and Jason learn how to make a proper Manhattan.
Brian and Jason bring in a chainsaw artist to learn how to sculpt wood. This should probably go without saying, but chainsaws are literally designed to cut through things so they're probably pretty dangerous. Don't use one if you aren't trained or under the supervision of a professional who knows what they're doing.
Brian and Jason are the baddest MFers (miracle fruiters) around.
Brian and Jason learn how to make an old fashioned.
Brian and Jason reveal the meaning behind the symbols and markings found all over the city.
Brian and Jason heard that a battery's charge can be tested by just dropping it, so they get to the bottom of whether it works and why.
Brian and Jason make cryogenic fluid by supercooling isopropyl alcohol with dry ice, and are obligated to freeze and shatter things. If for whatever reason you decide to make some psycho soup for yourself, take safety precautions and understand that this is some dangerous stuff. You definitely don't want to consume anything frozen with this stuff, you don't want to be anywhere near touching this stuff, and at the end of the day you probably just don't even want to make it.
Raised under the fear of ever-looming satan music, Brian and Jason figure out where these hidden messages come from and why they work.
Brian and Jason saw a video where you fill a jar with water and oil, heat the oil and the glass cuts--so naturally they brought out the torch.
It's sweltering in Texas, but Brian and Jason make it even hotter with thermite. Turns out volatile exothermic reactions are perfect for cooking some good old fashioned thermeat... Say, let's all thank Squarespace for making this possible! Start your free trial today at http://squarespace.com/rogue and enter offer code "ROGUE" to get 10% off your first purchase. Don't make thermite, light it, cook meat on it, look at it, or even think about it without a professional science person there to help you not die around it.
Brian and Jason have never had a real Whiskey Sour, so Trever returns to teach them in a hidden bar.
You can't Netflix and chill without a little Netflix skill. Brian and Jason don't even know what that means, but they've got some tips.
Brian and Jason, admirers of alcohol, wonder why it never catches on fire when they want it to despite it burning uncontrollably in films.
Brian and Jason can barely say "vieux carre," much less make one, so Trever is back to walk them through it.
One of the highest profile broadcast intrusions still remains unsolved, so Brian and Jason go over the known details of the case.
Brian and Jason heard about some rowdy football hooligans making improvised weapons out of just newspaper and rocks, so they make a deadly Millwall Brick for themselves
Brian's never had a mai tai, and Jason is... all too familiar. Trever drops in to walk them through making one step-by-step.
Brian and Jason make what's called a Pepper's ghost, an illusion dating back hundreds of years that conjure ghostly hologram-like figures.
Brian and Jason heard there was a gun that shot pellets that explode into a cloud of pepper spray, so obviously their first idea was to shoot it near and at each other.
Brian's life-long dream is to become a DJ, so he coerced Jason into helping him start up his unlicensed radio station.
Brian and Jason have been looking for a great drink that's easy to mix, yet makes them look cultured. In steps resident bartender Trever and the national drink of Brazil, the caipirinha.
Brian and Jason have always wondered what it actually takes to wipe the slate clean and start over, so after a little digging they break down the core essentials.
Jason was looking into spy tradecraft, like you do, and sent Brian out into the field to find a hidden dead drop.
Steeped in horror tropes, Jason brought the telegraph of the dead to the warehouse for this decidedly spooky explanation.
Brian keeps making garbage margaritas, so Trever's here to stop Brian from embarrassing himself (within reason) and start making spicy texas margaritas.
Brian and Jason just like throwing things, so they found somebody to help them make it dangerous.
Brian and Jason are no strangers to the Internet, but they've spent their entire lives floating on the surface web. Today, however, they glimpse the depths of the hidden deep web, and subsequently the dark web.
Brian and Jason fully expect Modern Rogue to land them some jail time, so they're preparing themselves by learning how to make prison wine with the barest of essentials.
Jason ran out of nunchucks the other day, don't ask, so he invited Brian over to help him make a set of his own.
Brian and Jason have been scanning the air waves for sstv signals for two months, but what they found was something else. An old standby from the Cold War.
John Rubio and Grant Davis of The Beerists podcast saw some episodes of The Modern Rogue and were appalled at Brian and Jason's complete lack of alcoholic expertise, so they tailed Brian to his house and made us film them.
Brian and Jason caught that episode of Spongebob where he got inflatable arms to look tough, but 2 pairs of real inflatable arms costs a ton so instead they're taking on The Evil Russian Hit The Deck Program.
Brian and Jason finally figured out HTML tags, so that got them thinking, what other sinister design lies just under the surface? They called up friend and hacker Jgor, who helps them understand one of the oldest security breaches in the books, the SQL injection.
Brian and Jason miss their friend and bartender, Trever, dearly. It's been weeks since their last drink and they're dependent so they'll take whatever Trever gives them. Nice guy that he is, he brought them Count Negroni's namesake.
After all these years, Jason finally broke his original Guitar Hero controller by beating Jordan, which he is adamant is still the hardest song. When he looked up he saw a guitar on his wall but had to call Brian and guitarist Mario Alvarez to figure out what it was and how to use it.
Brian and Jason got kicked out of their gated suburban community center for an illegal public broadcast of a Fight Club and They Live double-feature, so with all their now-free time they decided to program you all. Is it really free time after all?
You ever been to one of those tile stores that's mixed with a library? Turns out those are just fronts for body armor production lines. Also, Brian and Jason are dumb and you shouldn't try any of this.
"Serve them a cocktail and they'll be intoxicated for a day; teach them to convert their kitchen into a bar and they'll be intoxicated for a lifetime and you've gotten rid of the liability because they're somebody else's problem now." - famous proverb
Brian watched a couple episodes of CSI: Cyber and it all just clicked. So in a manic digi-frenzy he rounded up Jason, Jgor, a Power Glove, and a few 3.5" floppies to really get to the bottom of... DDOS?
Brian and Jason found a treasure map scrawled on a wizard's scroll. So they followed it to the X and there it was. One lone beam of light shone down upon an exalted paint can. That paint can was none other than Mr. Wizard's silo explosion demonstration can, so they did what they had to do.
Brian's been professionally doing ill-advised things with lighters since before half of you were born, so now's his time to shine... so to speak. Don't smoke, don't play with fire, don't use steak knives, don't break things, don't do crime, don't do danger.
Brian was really excited to hear that all it takes to get a pilot's license is drink at the bar; Jason and Trever didn't have the heart to tell him.
Jason started getting really paranoid so we all unanimously decided to do an episode about detecting hidden microphones and cameras. For no specific reason whatsoever.
Brian stumbled onto the perfect get-rich-quick scheme! Then some men in suits showed up, and this informative episode is serving as Brian's community service.
Jason had to clear his head so he went over to the Pizza Hut on Manchaca, and while on his last man in the Master Splinter fight, he realized that all it really takes to be a true ninja is the holy-coveted shuriken.
Brian and Jason went pretty far into the woods to get rid of the body and no joke they found an actual wizard tower with a secret whiskey vault behind a bookcase! So I guess we're learning about the fundamentals of whiskey this week.
Brian put out a classified ad for a "hit man" and the guy showed up with a mallet. He was a carpenter or prop comedian or something? Brian told him about the idea for this episode and they just traded Mr. Freeze puns for an hour.
Jason was playing an unhealthy amount of Fight Night Round 3 and Brian started to get nervous with all of his haymaker talk. So Brian tracked down the one guy in Austin who could help protect him from Jason's fists of fury.
Jason's an expert when it comes to drinking whiskey, but when Brian saw how he ordered it, he knew that he needed Daniel to intervene. "Barkeep! Hit me a dose of that 'W' my good dude, that's that good smokey sauce."
Since Brian and Jason only use thermite when they grill these days, they had a whole bunch of extra propane tanks laying around. Really the only sensible way to dispose of them was to shoot them.
After a year of serious deliberation, Jason finally decided to wear one of many of his goofy as hell hats from his entirely real collection, and as such, it had to be sacrificed.
Brian drew some Simpsons fan-art where it was Homer choking Bart but Bart had Jason's face. Mikal figured teaching them both how to choke each other was the only sensible solution.
As soon as Jason started bringing up his "world-famous whiskey-IV strategy," Daniel-san had to break his drink whiskey however you like rule. A lesson is in order.
Brian noticed a real up-tick unusual purchases on his credit card statement. It was just a lot of whiskey, tacos, and... vintage pants? Obligatory: don't do crimes.
After terrorizing the streets of Austin with a "modified ballistics super soaker" by following the letter of the law but not the spirit, Brian and Jason were court-ordered to learn some proper gun safety and technique.
Jason locked himself in his house refusing to leave until he had seen "at least 30 hours of buckwild car blasts," so that he could unlock their secrets. Brian just set up an appointment with Steve Wolf.
The Scam Stuff warehouse is filled to the brim with styrofoam packing materials. After Brian got bored with swimming in the foam pit like Scrooge, he demanded we get rid of all of the styrofoam specifically in such a way that would also give him primitive weapons. Obligatory: don't do crimes, know your nation & regional laws.
Jason got pretty good at that noise DRAM makes on Cash Machine and he thought, if counterfeiting a noise was so easy, how hard could it be to do the real thing?
After unearthing the immaculate historical artifact commonly referred to as A Knight's Tale, Brian asked around to learn more about the sword thing. Little did he know, it was called a lance, hello. (but no the episode is about longswords)
Brian figured that since the third Burnout was the best one and had "Takedown" in the title, our third Brazilian Jiu Jitsu episode needed a takedown of its own.
I asked Brian if we could get a green screen and he said, "WHAT?! A GREEN THING?!" A bit incredulously I told him, "No, a green screen for chroma keying." "CHROMA GREEN KEY THINGS? OKAY, YOU GOT IT PAL!"
Brian and Jason really just wanted an excuse to drink on the show, so they sold the guest slot to the highest bidder. Rubio and Grant collectively bid 16 beers.
We all thought the sweltering Texas heat was going to kill us, that was before Brian got behind the wheel. Armed with a total training of having played Absolute Drift and talking to an intrepid 12-year-old named Dash, what's the worst that could happen?
Brian walked by some teens calling some other teens "ratchet" so he asked Jason what that meant and he didn't know. So he hit up Mikal who actually did know, but he thought it would be funnier if he told them it was just a choke technique.
Jason called Brian a "nerf herder," but Brian heard "nerf hoarder." After so long he just got tired of being debased as a nerf hoarder and thought that if he's going to be accused of it, he might as well enjoy the perks of hoarding nerf products. Look into your local and state laws, don't do anything stupid or illegal. At the end of the day, anything shaped like a gun will be treated like a gun. Stay safe!
You would think Brian would be pretty knowledgeable about beer having hosted a show for almost 10 years about getting beer for free, but Rubio knew something had to be done when he saw Brian constantly interrupting a bartender with, "YOUR PRODUCT IS SWILL," and "I DEMAND ANOTHER, BARSERVENT!" He just kept throwing dirty nickels down the bar trying to land them in patron's drinks, it was really uncalled for.
Brian's "friend" hacked Jason's LotR Online account on first guess with "youshallnotpassword" and then "convinced" "Brian," who is totally not his own friend, to spearhead an episode on password security so that Jason can go back to securely hobbit frolicking or whatever else you're supposed to do in that game.
Alcatraz. Only one man has ever broken out. Now five million lives depend on two men breaking in.
I tell you what, our House of Representatives sure must play a lot of Tekken during those special sessions because boy do they know how to stun with Law.
Anthony came back to teach Brian and Jason how to wield a rondel dagger, because somehow they manage to hurt themselves less with that than they do with locks, whips, barrels, blocks of sealant, and countless other things.
"Miata learn how to drift this thing, you oughta film it!" Brian authoritatively announced after the last driving episode. Maneuvers covered in this episode: the handbrake turn, u-drift, figure 8s
Trever left us to travel the world so that he could be trained a lost art in forgotten tongues. He scaled snow-covered crests and traversed ancient underground labyrinths in search of the gatekeepers. It was only after finding these Chosen Few, after many months of harrowing exploration, did he come to know the One Truth. Just outside the Temple of Exile, a place and time for which Trever knew he could never return, the eldest Few lay weak on his death bed. In his final moments, he confided in Trever what would become the last words he would ever speak. He leaned over and gravely whispered in his ear, "Old fashioned... jello shots."
Most people don't know this, but Jason was the two time back-to-back copycat world champion. He used to be able to mimic languages that hadn't been invented yet! But that all changed with the digital revolution. Suddenly people weren't so impressed with a kid from the burbs with a mouth like a mirror now that a computer could do it too, and with higher fidelity. It's been a hard road but he's finally at a place where he can talk about that experience, and maybe... even have a machine repeat him while he does it.
Brian and Jason just kept yelling "KRAV MAGA!" while walking up and down populated streets in Austin until a qualified professional offered to teach them if they would just stop shouting. Should go without saying, yet here we are: don't be a jerk, use the system to defend yourself and don't just go attacking people.
So Rubio had some time on his hands, and German beer in them, so he concocted a devious scheme to perfectly re-create past Beerists-Modern Rogue episodes down to everybody wearing the exact same clothes, sporting the same beard progressions, all against the warehouse in as much disarray and just as disheveled as it was four months ago -- but this time, they have the German beer to drink.
=== [ pair_of_normal_rogues_s1e01.mkv ] === summary: This week on Pair of Normal Rogues, Brian and Jason investigate a haunted wizard tower built on sacred land. There's something off about the caretakers of the tower, have these paranormal events driven them mad? ... or are these accounts of the supernatural just a product of their madness?
Jason logged onto Brian's computer to look up Brodyquest but he couldn't move the mouse without accidentally clicking on something lewd, improper, embarrassing, or incriminating. It's time Brian learned how to hide files inside of other files, for you know, safekeeping.
Brian opened up the command console, typed in the code 'smurfme' which turned all the weapons blue, but then the computer turned off in the middle of a save, which they really warn you not to do, and it un-digitized all of the weapons. So what better to do with a surplus of extraordinarily blue weapons, than learn how to defend yourself against them.
This week's episode is delayed, so now's a good time to talk about the shop and NUMBERS.
Brian and Jason were going to make a DIY breathalyzer but they got as far as breathing into a tube when they realized they could just invent a new type of weapon. Some sort of... breathgun.
Finally, the "how to get rid of a body" episode! Just kidding. ...or am I?
Brian told Jason that he really wanted to do an episode on immolation. They were both pretty excited about it, but I think there must have been some miscommunication.
Cleavon Brittle and Gene Milder joined up with Trever to learn a cocktail of his own concoction, the Blazing Saddles.
We actually looked into getting a buckler just for everyday use so Brian could finally protect his hands, unfortunately Anthony and Bryant are all too familiar of Brian's reputation so they cornered the market in advance. Their one stipulation was to sit front row for another Brian and Jason duel, this time playing for keeps. (keeping the buckler, that is)
After years of abuse, we finally bought Brian a new hand. But for the assimilation to be complete, he must first disown his old hand one last time.
INT. DIMLY LIT ROOM -- NIGHT We see Jason standing eager, faced towards a wall. Bundles of newspaper structure the room, stalagmites of old media. Looking closer we notice he's face-to-face with a poster which appears to be crudely taped to a full-body mirror. There's an uncomfortable silence. CUT TO: over-the-shoulder, the poster is J. Jonah Jameson and the eyes are torn out. Jason's eyes are perfectly positioned in the reflection. He grabs at the poster and sheers a wedge down the face, revealing a now-lit cigar in Jason's mouth. It's an identical match. JASON (triumphant, but also kind of a whisper) Not today, Peter... No, today I become something so much more.
Brian and Jason have both authored books, so to better understand what people find valuable in them, they had to take a closer look...
$$ Modern Rogue Lemonache Stand Daily Report $$ Day 5 - Stand 1 5 stun gun discharges 8 lemons used for science 3 trips to the hardware store 0 electrical engineer guests PROFIT $4.65 ASSETS $12.91 PRESS SPACE TO CONTINUE, ESC TO END...
Brian and Jason had to come to terms with the fact that they're old now, they were left pondering "How do we resonate with the youths?" Obviously this led to recruiting their resident 50 Cent expert, Trever, to review 50's seminal legacy: that 360/PS3 game.
Jason showed up in his Egyptian garb. "No! Not pharaoh, I said arrow!" Brian exclaimed. Jason then showed up in his Taxi Driver outfit. "Not De Niro, I said arrow!" Jason showed up dressed as Oliver Queen.
What's a pirate's favorite tobacco product?
Voldemort and Voldelesst over here just have a bunch of brooms and one shared dream of sitting on an animal while poking a hole in something pretty far away.
It goes by many names: the lunch launcher, spud spitter, potentato, savory shooter, starch slinger, mash mover, harvest howler, fry flinger, hash slinging slasher, chip chunker, and sometimes it's just simply called Charlotte.
It's important to be properly prepared for your one-way trip to Bug Mars. That's where the "bug out bag" comes into play! Be sure to pack plenty of durians and a study guide for your Bug Mars citizenship test.
Male. Early 40s. It's a grizzly scene, one we don't see often: spontaneous combustion. The block is taped off because it's procedure, but it's not really necessary here. He's encased, perfectly preserved behind a screen. It's as if he's on display, for all to see. There's a battery nearby. Nobody can figure out if the fire first caught the top of his head or his beard. He is only succeeded by one, his wife, Mrs. Willy.
I am so sorry, we asked Anthony to bring a multi-media presentation and he must have misread our invite as "a multi-mead presentation." We were very excited to share with you our very formal "prison life hacks" PowerPoint, but I guess it'll have to wait for now.
Write phish, lament phish, read phish, sent phish. Rogue phish, gent phish, only with consent phish.
Brian sat down to watch that Pennsylvanian documentary where that boss and some of his employees learned parkour. He thought that was really cool and all of the employees thought the boss was pretty cool because of it, so here we are learning parkour.
Mr. Harvard Wallbanger Esq. III and Dr. Cosmappel Politan sailed the seven seas and landed in Austin, TX for just one noble reason: to get cosmically smashed and teach us their sloppy, slurry ways.
The incredible but true story of the one man who took things too far by volunteering for a highly experimental and controversial operation. SomeBODY once told him it couldn't be done, most everybody wanted to have none, but in the end, it all came down to one. This summer, Jason Murphy is... THE LAST SHREK.
It's just Baby's Day Out but Brian and Jason instead of the baby and parkour instead of Chicago.
Bill tried to tell Jason that x-ray vision didn't really work the way that comic books had led him to believe, but he just couldn't live with the disappointment in Jason's face. So he set out to recreate every living person in ballistic gel, starting with Jason himself.
Brian and Jason have been driving around Austin declaring themselves the Potato Pirates and they have the cannon to prove it. It's really gotten out of hand, they commandeer cars in the neighborhood yelling, "AVAST" while they throw potatoes out of the windows. They don't even have a good potato pun or anything, they literally just keep yelling the word "avast" over and over again.
Hello, youthful gaming elite. This is an instructional digital computing guide that will aid you in your conquest to overthrow the "status" quo. Only on the world wide web can you get this "level" of past knowledge colliding with present computing. Now this is a rich multi-media experience that's all that and a bag of chips!
Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony, then everything changed when Brian and Jason got to use quarterstaffs.
Forged in the dusk of the Cold War, the pants were imbued with a mystic mistrust. It is said these pants transform their bearer into a supernaturally deceptive creature, something beyond the sum of their parts. It is within these polyester confines that a man finds himself cruel and twisted, a puppet of the pantaloon. Evil Grandpants Murphy Esq. is but a victim of this sinister stitching and seam.
Basically, we’ve outgrown everything and are trying to buy seven acres out in west Austin and build the Scam Stuff/Modern Rogue World Headquarters. This would be the biggest step we’ve ever taken, and MAN we’ve got some wild ideas for it that you’re going to love. BUUUUUT, first we’ve got to come up with cash for the closing costs, and taxes just completely wiped us out last month. So we’re doing a sale this weekend. The biggest one of the year. We’re bringing back all the prices from Black Friday 2017, which I’m sure you know are the deepest discounts we ever, ever do. We’re thinking this is a win/win: we liquidate some stock, you guys make a killing on bargains, and we all get to enjoy the beginning of the next great chapter of this adventure. (Fingers crossed!) Hope to see you over at ScamStuff.com later today, and thanks for being there. You guys are really making some magic happen for us. Thanks, —Brian
It's Memorial Day weekend, so you already know what it is! That's right, a good old fashioned cookout. Grab the kids, grab the psyonic wildebeest carcass, invite over all the relatives! No need to lye, it's just some basic ingredients, and everybody's dying to get a taste.
Never look a grift horse in the mouth.
You find yourself in a barren room, a lone can of hair spray at your feet. You do not remember how you got there. After a brief pause, a klaxon blares throughout the room and an aggressor emerges from a shadow-engulfed corner of the room. Do you use the hair spray to defend yourself?
You find yourself in a red room, there is a life-sized velvet painting of a clown on the wall across from you. You find a box of matches in your one pocket. You do not remember how you got in this room. After a brief pause, Mambo No. 5 blares throughout the room and the clown from the painting drops in front of you from the ceiling like something out of Mission Impossible. It is clear he means you harm. Do you use the matches to defend yourself?
You find yourself in a small room, you are surrounded by incredibly life-like mannequins. You can hear one of them breathing, but you can't tell which one is real. All you have on you is a bobby pin in your hair. The breathing pauses for a beat, then the climax of O Fortuna blares as the walls to the room fall down and reveal an enormous live orchestra, they are all mannequins. Footsteps rapidly approach your location, do you even bother with the hair pin?
You awake to find yourself in a dark room! Your eyes begin to adjust to the glow of a red exit sign at the far end. Standing between you and the door, you can just barely identify the silhouette of what appears to be two men, one on the shoulders of the other. On your last of three wishes, you panic and wish for a light; your trickster genie hands you a single light bulb very sarcastically. She vanishes back into the dark vacuum of her lamp, which itself vanishes into the darkness of the room. Suddenly the Nokia tune plays over a low fidelity PA system, signifying the start of the tenth tournament in Mortal Kombat. Do you use this light bulb to aid you in saving the Earthrealm from Shao Kahn's reign?
I'm afraid Brian and Jason got Rick Smith Jr. to be on the show under false pretenses. What they didn't tell him is that they have a business plan to Honey I Shrunk the Kids paying customers, gently balance them on a playing card with a custom built harness (gaffer's tape,) and hurl them towards the nearest micro-city. It's a bold step for environmental conservation efforts, but these jokers know that to deal the right hand... you have to become kings of the card.
Number 7 would have been Brian and Jason's pruno.
Forward for this episode written by Stan Lee, probably: "Greetings true believers, it is me, the one and only probably real Stan Lee! I got a new superhero, ya dig? His name is Card Throwy-Man. His superpower is a supernatural ability to do highly improbably (but not impossible!) card flourishes, and his weakness is paper cuts. If he gets a paper cut, he will die. It's a scathing indictment of the razor's edge we perpetuate as creators, a card in hand is a deck best left dealt."
Stone Age. Bronze Age. Iron Age. PVC Age.
Brian Brushwood. Magician, exposed to inappropriate levels of brain electricity. "Electric sponges make him the world's smartest man!" I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!
I asked Jason what his blood type was, so I could fill out his Bizarre Magic personnel file, and he said that he "preferred the red kind, but [he's] not picky." And I think Macaulay Culkin is still on the premises? Because I definitely heard a hushed Burnsian whisper, "Excellent."
Time to put a little pepper in your stepper, a little heat in your feet, a little capsaicin dealt by Jason, a bit of burning to cry on for Brian, it'll go straight through to your pant if you're Grant, played'em all like a pawn as did John, but hey, go ahead and get that spice if it's your vice.
What did Henry Cavendish really know? What was he hiding all those years ago? Hydrogen is obviously named from the latin root "Hydra," coincidence? Oh, atomic number one? That's pretty convenient if you ask me. Look, I'm just asking the tough questions here.
5 people who took such advantage of *the system* that they could have their own tv show. It could be called Manipulating the System, and the five of them will all look like experts, and they'll... I don't know, teach you how to pack your travel bags or something.
[extremely trailer voice] "Two men at the top of their game. With everything to lose, they put it all on the line when they get in the ring. Guided by actual professionals who know what they're doing, Brian Brushwood and Jason Murphy are... Some Old Guys Who Do Cool Guy Stuff." [SOGWDCGS text treatment slams onto screen] "We don't offer discounts on seating, even though you're only going to sit on the edge."
Brian and Jason traverse the 7-acre expanse (the 7-acre shwood?) of the new HQ, now in HD! * youtube just decided to only do 360p last time, so here we are again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Brian and Jason perform the Rite of Kindling on an unlikely bonfire.
The guys never got over the idea of shooting razor blades out of a nerf gun, but we just wouldn't let them. So they re-worked it in a way that doesn't just let razors fly loose, it's "safer because shoe laces are harmless."
Lot of potty humor in this one.
No mention of the homonculous charm though, always an essential in managing such mischief.
If you know Brian even a little, you'll know this was all completely a ruse to let Brian drive around in the Pork Chop Express for an episode.
el diablo cazador trofeo de los videos de youtube
As the old saying goes, "You can lead a steed through reed, but if you feed the breed mead, you'll have to concede that you did indeed impede your speedy steed."
It was a quiet, foggy morning when the Burg Burgler burgled the best burgs. The lead detective on the case went mad, sherriff was run out of town, and the people of BurgBerg never found peace. That is... until today.
Brian and Jason wildly hoisting swords over their heads is my favorite forgotten Kengo training exercise.
Tracy Flick might be the only president who hasn't bought votes.
Finally bringing the incandescent light bulb back to its original purpose, to be the ultimate cooking instrument.
The howls of hollowed wretches hang heavy on the crisp October breeze, while the sickly sweet trick or treat looms nearby.
You've got red on you.
Psychic surgery is a highly specialized form of surgery that only works on other psychics. This is possible because, and many people aren't aware of this, psychics can meld skin kind of like Odo and the changelings on Deep Space 9. They can do this because they're advanced brains run too hot so their skin melts. So they like goop their hands into your psychic stomach to goopify all of those intestine gremlins, but then the psychic has to absorb your goop into their goop, bonding with the gremlin's power level. This, as we all know, is how psychics get so powerful, but also why they're so afraid of being touched anywhere on their torso.
Brian heard about immersion therapy but skipped all of the parts about relaxing yourself and building up to the fear. Instead, he invited Kelly over to surrounded himself with "killer drones," and that he would "re-define what a 'drone strike' meant."
"Numatic" is the name of the elusive mixtape where Jason raps over Illmatic beats, but his bars are just 100% about that numa numa guy.
Brian and Jason showed up 30 minutes early in sweatpants because when they heard we were doing an episode on "absinthe," they thought it was a fitness program scored by John Carpenter. Unfortunately, it was not.
Don't let Brian kid you, he's been trying to bring Flashlight Turbo Snail Phase Cathartic Revelation Bracelets to the shop for years.
Click thumbs up when you catch the Flight of the Conchords reference in this episode.
If I tell Brian and Jason that SDS actually stands for "Silly Dungeon Spells," do you think they would start reading them?
This one is dedicated to whoever, upon hearing that Brian is a magician, thinks that means doing balloon animal tricks.
Jason thought that Bash Bunny was a Smash character so he showed up early with his GameCube, excited to learn how to "wavebash."
Our days since last injury counter has been reset about 13 times now, so it's about time we learned how to actually treat an injury. This isn't a substitute for actual medical training, it's more designed for public awareness.
Koffing evolves into Weezing evolves into Choking. This video isn't a substitute for actual medical training, it's more designed for public awareness.
After traveling all across the quadrant, Jason heard about a mythical life-saving martial art. The renowned Kirk double axe-handle strike can be inverted, the Bajorans discovered, to punch a Terran heart back into function. They call it Sep'iarh and are absolutely convinced that The Sisko discovered it in a vision from the Prophets. This video isn't a substitute for actual medical training, it's more designed for public awareness.
I don't get what the big deal is — one, two, and three degree berms are all kind of identical. This video isn't a substitute for actual medical training, it's more designed for public awareness.
Scorpion's Spine Palpation is low-key the best MK fatality. This video isn't a substitute for actual medical training, it's more designed for public awareness.
I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm starting to suspect Brian might not actually be a legitimate bartender...
[ 0 viewers have completed the secret hidden in this video ]
Go from nonchucks to unstuck with nunchucks: a helpful nunchaku how-to that you can do (but probably shouldn't).
Brian thought we were *solving* a fire instead of starting one, so he showed up in full Sherlock Holmes wardrobe. We were able to salvage the magnifying glass.
While you're already looking at this instead of watching the video, check out our magnifying glass and char cloth video if you haven't already!
From the men who brought you Bad PVC Bow, and Lemon Stun Gun That Doesn't Really Work -- now with the latest and greatest: Pouring Goop to Make Fire Easy!™
The data goes... through, the pineapple? *zooms in super-tight on face* *then zooms in super-tight on an actual pineapple* [whispers through squinted eyes] ...through the pineapple.
A final farewell to the warehouse... and the cursed safe that we've kept locked away deep within it.
Jason's been muttering "Nudity is wrong" under his breath ad nauseam for the past few months now. We weren't going to say anything until we found out all of those books he's written were just hundreds of pages of Jack Torrance at a typewriter if he were obsessed with vintage pants. Letting him have run of a vintage clothes shop seemed like a good way to get it out of his system.
We're actually building! We'll finally have a place to poo. We also do our first ever unboxing and, because it's Modern Rogue, it's HUGE!
The guys start a fire in front of a live studio audience! ...and put it out with a home made fire extinguisher. Featured as part of the South By So Wasted 2019 live show. Check out the rest of the live show! Night Attack #264: Live Concert from South By So Wasted 2019 https://youtu.be/ihOu1SDoz2s
You jolt awake in a cold sweat. Rushes of air hold you suspended in the void of an inhospitable chasm. As your eyes acclimate, a single rope floats in front of you. It communicates in a language unfamiliar yet perfectly understood, "to be, or knot to be." Every moment of indecision further slips your suspension above a most agonizing demise. In what way do you proceed?
Three techniques for improvised stretchers.
Huge thanks to Josh for coming through and giving us the rundown on our many questions about radio. If you want to learn more about radio, you should check out his channel at Ham Radio Crash Course - https://youtube.com/hoshnasi/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As much as I want to deny it, I have to finally admit that you folks love Modern Rogue uncut and smokeable. So here is my extended cut of the long awaited Understanding Pipes: The Desolation of Smoke.
Part 3 of the Rogue's challenge series
Testing homemade pepper-spray, part one.
Testing homemade pepper-spray, part two.
You hid what, where?
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
World's Smallest Potato Guns
Yep, Lithium Batteries Get Explody When You Open Them and Put Them In Water!
Sabrage: How To Saber A Champagne Bottle
Extracting Deadly Nicotine That Murders Royalty and Addicts Bees
Liar's Dice: Our New Favorite Game
World's Greatest Con (Full Episode ) - Fame and Shame
Stick and dagger fighting
Biggest game show win ever! Almost everyone gets this story wrong. Michael's tale is not a cheeky, scheming success story... but a tragic tale of addiction. Here's why.
Making a macuahuitl
Place Your Bets: Exactly How "Radioactive" Are These?
Playing Card Tarot
Carbs are Satan's nutrients!
Rock Climbing: FALLING In Love With Bouldering
We Built a God-Tier Gaming PC The RIGHT Way! (And we're giving it away!)
Colombian Esgrima: 6 vs 1 Machete & Stick Duel
To celebrate 20 years of "Scams, Sasquatch, and the Supernatural," we're releasing a special annotated version of the show with commentary, behind-the-scenes insights, and updates and corrections. With live demos to follow along and an explanation of Psychic Surgery, the trick Brian did on Penn & Teller's Fool Us, this is a mega-feature!
Starting Leathercraft (w/ CJ Johnson)
Saddle-Stitching Leather (w/ CJ Johnson)
We’re In Trouble: Cutting Down a Tree Poorly (and How Not To!)
Hacking the System is on Disney+ and we take a look at how we pitched the show and watch original footage from the process.
Brian took a moment to share an old clip he sent to The Tonight Show so many years ago.
(Headphones encouraged)
Did He Even Lie About His Own Lying? (Probably.)
Yes, You Could Literally Ship Your Kids
We're not lawyers and none of this is legal advice--don't break the law, okay? Don't break any laws and join us as we chart a beginners path around the world via insecure web cameras.
Debunking That Kennedy Conspiracy
UAPs Confirmed, But Not Aliens? How?
Dark Board Game Origins
1995 Cyber Pranks/"Crimes" That Brought Us Together
Jason Made a Kid Speak in Tongues
Everyone Should Know How to Play 21
Hilarious & Hazardous: Food Bloopers!
Modern Rogue "Masters" Blackjack
When Sticking It To The Man Goes Wrong/Right
If this makes no sense, please watch the Great Night livestream. It's pretty much this for hours at a time. Thank you to Justin Robert Young for helping us process this abomination.
Questions That Should Have Been Answered Sooner
4 High Tech Solutions For Simple Problems
Using Math to Reveal Darkest Secrets (Part 1)
Secret Language Of NYC Bodegas
Building A Sailboat For Just A Dollar
Secret Languages: NYC Subways
The Middle Finger Gesture Is Exactly What You Think
Secret Languages - Sneaker Culture
Playing Music With A Sewing Needle
Lighting A Fire With One Match
Outtakes from Modern Rogue, "Hacking the Taco Bell Menu"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Homemade Gas Masks vs. Tear Gas Grenades"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "7 Awful Pranks Only Satan Would Try"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "How to Crack a Bullwhip!"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "How to Make Disposable Camera Tasers"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Making a Prison Spear"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Flip Open a Butterfly Knife Like a Gentleman Bastard"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Making an Insane Smoke Bomb"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Use Your Phone to Decrypt Soviet-Era Space Messages!"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Making an Award-Winning Martini (Shaken is a lie!)"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Sculpting with Chainsaws and Flamethrowers (with Griffon Ramsey)"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Taste Tripping"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "How to Decode Utility Graffiti"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "How to Make Supercooled Cryofluid (Homemade Liquid Nitrogen)"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Everything You Know About The Whiskey Sour Is Wrong"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Cooking Steaks with Thermite"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Does Booze Really Catch Fire? (Answer: It Depends.)"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Setting Up a Pirate Radio Station"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Why Do Ouija Boards Work?"
Outtakes from The Modern Rogue, "Making a Negroni"
Yup. We’re doing real, actual medical-grade safety for one run only. You want in?
