This lil baby was was born in 1996 after a two week shower of pills and thrills. That’s right this sadness-obliterating 1st edition of TV CARNAGE was the love child of a scrap VCR and a bottle of painkillers creating what would become the first of an ever expanding empire known as TV CARNAGE. OUCH TELEVISION MY BRAIN HURTS is hailed by many nerds, geeks and gorgeous people in starting what is now known as the modern day “mash up” scene>.Ugh I hate that phrase.
The bar is raised again with TV Carnage 2G. This is the same tape that premiered to a packed audience at a landmark Toronto Porn theatre. It is currently enjoying a successful city to city tour in the romantic settings of other porn theatres. How good is this tape?? If you were to think in the terms of fashion, this tape rivals the Acid Wash Jump Suit phenomenon in its ability to shock and amaze. If you think in the terms of pizza slices you will not believe some of the toppings on this “Cringe lovers delight” If you think in terms of “Should I get this or not?” think, “Should.” Besides it’s intro, a homage to the top-notch advances in 80’s video toaster technology; this tape is, as Brian Austin Green would say “A one stop Carnival!” Some of the toppings include: A hetro country and western dance competition that looks more like a Gay Pride showcase event. Steven Seagal on etiquette. Steven Seagal on AIDS. A local news report featuring an elderly citizen flipping out and physically taking on the cops. A swearing sandwich featuring dialogue from a livid CEO. A Philippine variety special with a group of people singing and acting out the song “It’s still rock and roll to me.” A hard sell on beanie babies as a secure investment. Chuck Norris and his ingenious, porn level, acting skills.
Imagine living in a world where hundreds of colorful balloons create a backdrop for a bizarre but stirring speech by a mincing health guru. Imagine a place where charlatans speak to the dead but sound like they are acting in a WWF skit. A world where a preacher turns into a jet fighter from Top Gun. A place where fire hydrants swear at children. Well stop imagining because that WHOLE world is in the palm of your hand. Introducing the 5th installment in a series of delicious TV CARNAGE MEALS. So sit back, shoot up and get ready to laugh until you get your barf on!
In 1998 a second TV CARNAGE was born. It’s name was “Rich” As in A Rich Tradition of MAgic”. Word on the street was “werd” because the bar had officially been raised largly due to the fact that this guy was raised n a bar. Fueled by booze and back alley pharmaceuticals Pinky Carnage created a tribute to all things Magical that the succulent television industry had to offer.
When Television Attacks, it is NOT pretty but when TV CARNAGE carnage filters the attack through it’s patented angle on humanity and wraps all of the horror in laughter; I guarantee you will want to be attacked again and again. This 3rd Season of TV CARNAGE is spellbinding and left TVC fans so blown away they still can’t get the soot off their faces and their hair is permanently mussed. Sorry guys… it’s called an attack for a reason. WHEN TELEVISION ATTACKS is also great to take a load of your mental fanny and is supossedly excellent if you invite your friend Mary Jane over to watch it with you. I personally have never met Mary Jane. Well… Lahium! Here’s a sample of WHEN TELEVISION ATTACKS. P.S. The talking sandwich clip from WHEN TV ATTACKS (as seen in the doc Winnebago Man) helped popularize Jack Rebney. Tear rolling down my face.
In 2003 TV CARNAGE gave the world of weirdoes, nerds, punks, metal-heads, rivet-heads and strippers aka visionaries, their most challenging psychological present to date: CASUAL FRIDAYS. Inspired by television and medias unbridalled passion for not even trying; at all along with the unstoppable momentum behind the need for offices around the world to impliment CasualFridays, this relentless treat continues to inspire and as well as to be blatently ripped off. TV CARNAGE’s creator Pinky Carnage created this mind-felating creation Using state of the art disdain and next level humour equasions to pay tribute to the rivers of barf flowing out of popular culture’s anal caverns and ladies, it is romantic to boot. Included in this stunning collection you be seduced by: Senor Gary Coleman, The Gays, Performances by the unknown that will inspire you to stop living, The Saxophones, children being adults/adults being children,Thespians and a Rodeo Monkey Riding a dog and of course an optionall version with Pinky’s famous commentary track.
Do you like lightening bolts, hot dogs with wings watching drunks not fall cause they wobble so good, when jocks look confused? Ido too. Do you love to hate saxophones,cats dressed like sluts, balloons falling onto people in wheelchaiirs. Yeah, you know what I mean. That’s why Pinky Carnage decided to make a A Sore for Sighted Eyes. Referred to as the Paris of the TV CARNAGE collection this city of delights never stops serenading the interesting and unbelievable choices made by humanity and stored on film and video for all to see. Season Five’s A sore for Sighted Eyes again proves that TV CARNAGE is more than clips smushed together without thought or love. Instead it follows in the tradition of TV CARNAGE’s masterful, detail oriented attachment to cringeful moments sewn together to create an epic journey into a universe of laughter.
This time around TV CARNAGE is willing to work it out. After years of lovingly humiliating television, film and media vis it’s hypnotic odes to hack craftsmanship TV CARNAGE just wants hangout with wrap a towel around it’s neck, dab it’s brow and squat next to the fitness industry. A benevolent industry filled with charlaetons, murderers, porn stars, fading movie stars and those trying to fade in as movie stars. Prepare your eyes for the workout of their lives and prepare to say good bye to your mind, body and soul.