"Where is Dr. Wily?" This, dear aesthetes, is an enigma that has plagued scholars and philosophers alike since time immemorial. And though we may never truly identify the tutelary capable of untying the mystical Gordian knot presented in Capcom's epistolary Colossal Chap the Eighth (UK), we can perchance take solace in knowing that, much like the orphic endeavours of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, this sui generis objet d'art has shone a light on humanity's deep struggle, instilling questions within us that we otherwise may never have ventured to ponder.