In which John discusses Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga in both its book and film form, discussing the Twilight phenomenon in a way that will surely anger both Twihards and the series' detractors, thus infuriating everyone and pleasing no one. Also discussed: vampires; Edward Cullen, his hotness; Jacob Black, his torso; romantic relationships, why adults shouldn't have them with teenagers; reading; books; and true love, a beautiful lie.