The story so far: Brad has been abducted by alien beings who want him to mend the windscreen wipers on their spaceship, while Loretta, the glamorous starlet, has begun a doomed relationship with a lesbian warthog.. I'm dreadfully sorry, this is the billing for Santa Barbara. It should say 'Don't miss Who Dares Wins, the very funny comedy show'. I blame the computer. [source: TV Times]