It’s the beach that makes you old, in the movie that makes you “huh?” Old is a… thriller… from M. Night Shyamalan, the master of twists. The twist? He keeps getting money to make movies with half-baked concepts! Thrill as a family checks into a fancy resort! Beverages are served! Exposition is deployed, to the max! The family accepts a special invitation to a secluded beach, joined by a crew of Familiar Archetypes. The cold, indifferent doctor and his young, bikinied wife. The therapist who only talks about therapy. The kids. And of course, the rapper named Mid-Sized Sedan. Is that name a joke? Just like everything else in this mysterious world, it’s hard to be sure!