Welcome to Video Game Theatre, a weekly jaunt through gaming's most epochal and splendiferous tableaus. On our inaugural programme, the Video Game Theatre Players shall reenact what is, indubitably, the most masterfully-crafted scene to ever grace the Resident Evil franchise: The Master of Unlocking.
Welcome to the second chaptre of Video Game Theatre, a weekly peregrination through gaming's most epochal and splendiferous tableaus. On today's installment, the Video Game Theatre Players hold a mirror to humanity and ponder one of life's greatest enigmas: Can love, truly, bloom on the battlefield? Perhaps the answer can only lie within this, the most powerful love scene in all the Metal Gears.
Welcome to the third entry of Video Game Theatre, a weekly celebration of the fecundity of modern gaming thespianism. Today, the Video Game Theatre Players shall revive the melodrama of Space Channel 5: Part 2 with a rousing rendition of a scrumptious sampling of the game's most poignantly crafted scenes.
Welcome once again to Video Game Theatre, a weekly expedition into the most wondrous feats theatrical theatre has to offer. Today, the Video Game Theatre Players have cordially invited a guest membre to accompany the cast as they reconnoitre the emotional tumultuousness that is David Cage's seminal Heavy Rain (2010).
This eve, on Video Game Theatre, we interrogate that most fateful of video game hedgehog encounters: the introduction of Sonic the Hedgehog to Shadow the Hedgehog, from ye ill-fated Sonic Adventure 2.
Welcome once again to an illustrious episode of the one and only Video Game Theatre. Today, we shall ride the ocean waves of transcendence as we collectively experience what can only be described as one of the purest, most recondite moments in gaming, nay humanity, courtesy of Life Is Strange. Help yourself to a delicious boiled sweet and join us as we sip from the glass of life, fortified with reverie and delicately garnished with a refreshing slice of perspicacity. Bask in the chilled potable as it tempers the fiery ardor within your soul, and revel in the knowledge that you, too, are a pop cultural pirate connoisseur.
Salutations. It is thee, Video Game Theatre, returning with yet more comestibles for your scrumptious catalogue of culture. In this dramatic interpretation of Kingdom Hearts II's most melancholic act, we reflect upon that which plagues us all in our collectively burdensome sojourn of Mother Earth's nesting mineral kingdom: the painful and untimely loss of a loved one. Perhaps it is fitting that the solitary respite from such sorrow is the indubitable knowledge that our souls shall one day ascend beyond the physical reality to dimensions of newer, higher energies. Only through the intense spiritual vibrations of this astral plane can we truly abscond our humanoid form and achieve Oneness with the Ancient Astronaut, before our spirits are once again refolded into the conscious plane and ushered into a new spiritual birth. Only then, after we've surrendered our personal ego, may our spirits congeal into matter and we shall emerge from the womb androgynous Lightbodies of the third-dimensional terrestrial sphere.
Welcome, fellow aesthetes, to yet another seminal and ground-breaking installment of Video Game Theatre. Thine eyes do not deceive thee! On this dreadfully dreary day, allow us a brief vestige outside the fog as we pay homage to a mainstay of classic horror thespianism. Notice how the desultory, yet wistful demeanor of these personages contrasts with the sepulchral ambience of the scene. Breathe it in. Let it fill your lungs and course through your veins as the caliginous mystique steams the chambers of your soul. "Am I lost?," you ask. Perhaps, in the end, we all are.
If laughter truly is the best medicine, then let us raise our chalices as we toast to our collective salubriousness. This eve, our tincture of eupepsia du jour arrives courtesy of the tenth and, indeed, the most rapturous installment of Final Fantasy. Join us in our quest for jubilance, won't thou?
Devil May Cry. 'Tis not only the inaugural game in Capcom's quintessential hack and slay series, 'tis also a sagacious and deeply poignant metaphor for one of life's greatest conflicts: the unending battle of good against evil. Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Mallet Island, where we lay our scene.
'Tis hard to imagine that in this, the year of our lord, 2017, thrilling scenes such as this one from Mass Effect: Andromeda are still capturing the collective breaths of gamers around the world. With their impeccable performances, titillating musical scores, and downright bone-chilling choreography, who could blame us for being awe-stricken by their utter magnificence? Alas, the developers must have prognosticated the impact this captivating piece would have on its audience. Thus, it is with no hesitation we proclaim that this scene is truly BioWare's most crowning achievement.
Is there anything more thrilling than a savoury cob? The delicate balance of milk and butter, the flocculent yet pillowy texture... these piquant pellets permeate every crevice of our oral apertures with their delectable morsels, and yet, somehow, we are always left wanting more. The same could be said of the magnificent performances on display in today's reenactment. Thus, let us kindly extend a broiling welcome to Elephantine Explosive's Abrigaile Russelle, whose pantomimic dexterity remains unrivaled in the landscape of modern day cinema. Her delightful performance in this scene is truly a gift of which no human, mortal or otherwise, is deserving.
Voyage with me to old Italia, wherein we shall bask under the Florentine sun, with the briny taste of olives on our tongues, and the scent of oleanders heavy in the air. Here we see the quintessential coming of age tale: a young man and his mother, confronted with the spectre of the boy's philandering ways. There is but one true release, and that is art. The tug of war between these two poles ignites a frisson of excitement in the viewer who must also choose between such temptations as earthly delights and the immortal practice of the Arts.
Ah, the infamous Zergling. Deft in agility, yet ghastly in appearance, these noble creatures anchor one of the most unspeakable scenes amongst any modern strategically-based scientific fiction game: StarCraft. Or, as it is known exclusively to the humble coterie of indigenous inhabitants of the township of Upton Snodsbury, a quaint and quiet whistle-stop in England's West Midlands county of Worchestershire, cozily situated just a stone's throw from equally charming historic parish of North Piddle: The Craft of Stars.
Let us peregrinate through the egresses of hell in this spine-tingling reenactment of one of Dark Souls II's truly most disquieting scenes. Our resident ingenue has metamorphosed into the three sisters of Things Betwixt — Griant, Strowen, and Morrel — to spare a bit of sage wisdom for any Undead passers by, and partake in a hearty snigger at their expense. A dark soul, indeed.
For what doth thoest fight? In time's amaranthine splendor, may we all be spared the existential catastrophe that this proposition inquires. If a world of, by and fore Reploids cannot be fathomed, what quarrels even approach worthiness? On this penultimate Video Game Theatre, contemplate this catechism as Zero of the Mega Man's hath done before us.
Sailors. These inscrutable beings are a rare sight, indeed. But what of Shenmue and his search? Join us on this as we ride the waves of feculence on this, the conclusive episode of Video Game Theatre for the year of our satan, two thousand and seventeen.
Ladies and gentlemen, hang your caps and put away your dusters, for 'tis the long-awaited return of Video Game Theatre. On this seminal episode of the show's highly lauded second season, we take a jaunt through the archives as we examine this scene from 1993's most avant-garde Zelda game, Link: The Faces of Evil. Feast your eyes, as prosaic circumstance is swiftly finessed into a nihilistic carnival of temptation, leaving only a tragedy of distress and the inevitability of a new beginning.
What is a man? This, dear aesthetes, is a question that has plagued scholars for centuries. Modern philosophy would lead one to believe that the complexity of consciousness is almost trivial in its proliferation. And yet, as alchemistic derivatives are extricated through emergent and personal practice, we are left with a clue to the darkness of our world. These "miserable secrets" we grasp so tightly with every fibre of our being... perhaps it is they that hold the key to our humanity.
"Where is Dr. Wily?" This, dear aesthetes, is an enigma that has plagued scholars and philosophers alike since time immemorial. And though we may never truly identify the tutelary capable of untying the mystical Gordian knot presented in Capcom's epistolary Colossal Chap the Eighth (UK), we can perchance take solace in knowing that, much like the orphic endeavours of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, this sui generis objet d'art has shone a light on humanity's deep struggle, instilling questions within us that we otherwise may never have ventured to ponder.
The agnosticism of psychology is rather idyllic in its nihilism, and yet we insist on peering through the keyhole to the darkness until it swallows us whole. Unlock it, and the Heartless will overrun this world. 'Tis nothing more than the mere inevitability of the human condition.
Today on Video Game Theatre we bring you, our most demure viewers, an uncompromising amalgamation of selected scenes from the transcripts of the supreme monster abduction game, Pokemon. We will hear of the most transcendent and mathematically capable Rattata known to person-kind, the exaltations of a famed devotee’s cherished Rapidash, and the sheer elation that comes from wearing conspicuously compressed trousers. I designate you indeed!
How do you take your cuppa?
"Man committed a sin: disturbing the life cycle of nature. The original sin that man is responsible to: to protect the life cycle." Such eloquent diction is rarely seen amongst the prosaic banalities of video game dialogue. And yet, The House of the Dead Two manages to beautifully capture the essence of life and death in a single pellucid distillation comprehensible to even the most philistine among us. A truly defining work of art.
"Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?" This prescient lyric from the amaranthine Nelly Furtado serves as a solemn reminder that no one — not even the most talented or accomplished thespians among us — are immune from the tragic dénouements of this sublunary world. As the notorious bard once spoke, "Two blocks, both alike in dignity, In fair Tetris, where we lay our scene." Thank you. The end.
